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Ciel
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"That’s not a prediction, that’s a spoiler.”
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
This wasn't possible. No, couldn't be. James couldn't be... No. Impossible.

James didn't know what hit him.

The pain, both physical and mental, surged through him. All of the pressures being exerted against him made it impossible which ones were real. Which ones were killing him from the inside and which ones were fake.

James wondered briefly just how he got himself into this mess. He thought. Think. Think. Think.

It all happened so fast.

Perhaps,

it had been his choice of words.

James always had a problem with speaking with people. Whenever he spoke in front of the class, the words ran out of his mouth before he had a chance to think.

Was it "whore" that set this whole situation in flames? Yes, yes it was. James should have used a different word, something less demeaning. That had been his bad. James felt guilty. He never cursed. Never called someone a whore in his entire life until now. It was unlike him. At that very moment, the James Mulzet he knew had become someone else entirely.

Hayley and James never got on though. They were both intelligent people but Hayley was... well, nothing like James. She was lazy, she wanted things done her way. James learned all about this when they had to do a project together in ninth grade. Hayley was no control freak but it had been that stubborn, "my idea is perfect" attitude that got them a C. A C. James hated C's. It was a blemish on his grades. A big pimple. And it had all been her fault. IT was her fault he got so angry. Fuck Hayley. Fuck everyone. This was bullshit. Why did he have to get punished? Shouldn't she be with him too?!

And yet

When he thought about it

He figured that the only one to blame for his actions

Was himself.

He wished he could have someone to reassure him. To tell him that he made all the right choices instead of people expecting him to figure that out on his own. James was always expected to come up with his own answers. He loved his parents but they never sat down at the dinner table to help him with his homework. Every accomplishment James Mulzet achieved was done so by his own two hands. He couldn't for the life of him come up with an answer to such a riddle. Pointing a gun at a knife-wielding kid, getting flustered and spouting out nonsense... was that a good choice? Please, someone from the audience. Does anyone know the answer to this? If you do, come and help James. He needs an answer.

And James waited for the reply that he knew would not arrive.

James let out a blood-splattered groaned.

Alas, James had only his mind to keep him company. Alone in his own tortured brain. Everything was so desperately cold in there.. James thought his skin would turn blue from the sheer freeze. No one was around, and he mentally slumped. James was alone with his thoughts. Ironic, wasn't it? The one thing he desperately wanted to be separated from became his only companion.

James was supposed to go to Princeton you know?. It wasn't like his parents picked a college at random - James desperately wanted to be in Princeton. They had an amazing Physics Department. One of the best in the country. James Mulzet loved math, and he adored physics. It was his best subject. He knew the answer to x^2 + 1 = 0 like the back of his hand. He could do it in his head if he wanted. Subtract 1 from each side. x^2 = -1 Take the square root. i = SQRT(-1). x = i, -i Easy stuff. He wouldn't have made it in Princeton though. Not when he made stupid decisions like calling someone's girlfriend a whore right in front of them. James was an idiot. They would have kicked him out on the grounds of a waste of space.

Yes, James was just one big gelatinous ball of useless and it took him this long to realize it.

Blood flew everywhere from the gaping hole in his neck. Like someone plunging a hammer to a watermelon. Hayley was splattered with the debris.

His mind plunged into dark, negative thoughts. Mother Mulzet, age 6, sending her boy to school, glad to see him going. Winnie, sobbing, stuck up above, helplessly scared and refusing any help. Kyle, face encased in rage, lunging towards him, hate in his eyes. James, looking in the mirror, about to head on his one last trip with Thea.

Thea. Thea Thea Thea. His whole body fought on the subject Thea Kairos. Thea hand lightly brushing against Ricky, smiling to herself. The tennis ball was thrown up into the air. The server started. Isn't that just great? James was an idiot. James used to identify with Thea so much. He fooled himself into believing in her. So guess what? She's probably fucking Ricky now. She's probably forgotten all about James. That's what he got for caring. The ball hit the other court. The receiver retaliated. No. Thea was genuine. She never lied. When she said those three oh-so-overused words she meant every syllable. He could remember how the rest of the cheerleaders picked on the other kids, the ones who were more normal than James. James never went home in tears. Was that Thea's doing? Maybe she loved him longer than he ever did for her, and for that he should be thankful. If Thea really did keep James safe then that was the ultimate proof of her feelings. James would be smiling like a madman if he weren't... yeah...

His neck surged forward.

He didn't stop there. He had little time, and there were so many people that James found himself worrying about.

He let go of the gun,

Jason Clarke. James never liked Jason but... Jason wasn't a bad guy. James hoped he'd be alright despite his own personal feelings.

Hayley Kelly. James hated her ever since ninth grade. He had crossed a line though. He wished he could apologize to Hayley. James wished she had been with Kyle so he could have apologized when the word "whore" left his lips. Perhaps he'd still have a chance.

Ema Ryan. James felt regretful for pointing the gun at her first. She looked absolutely terrified. Was James being a loon or something?

Kyle... James didn't know his last name. He doubted Kyle would accept any apology James could offer. So he left it at that.

Raine Schwarz. Poor girl. James didn't think she would survive. It was heartbreaking, even more so when he remembered that the last time she had seen her she had been bawling. And James had just pushed her away. James felt like a monster.

Ricky Fortino. James felt bad for thinking the guy was trying to steal his girlfriend away. Maybe he wasn't so bad.

Winnie Clark. James hesitated. Now was the time to be open. There would be no other time for him to be honest. James didn't hold back. He felt something for Winnie. Not with the passion of a thousand suns and most definitely not in the way he felt for Thea. It was a feeling all the same, one that he couldn't come up with a rational explanation for. James was a boy, he liked girls. Winnie was cute, quiet, stubborn. Was it wrong to feel something for another girl and yet never act on it? He couldn't be committing any form of adultery if you simply felt sorry for a girl. Pity love? Was that the term? James pity loved Winnie. He wished he could have spent more time with her so he'd know for sure.

and then,

And James felt his mind slowly move to the rest of the kids on this trip, both alive and dead. The fates of all the kids, the ones he didn't know, the ones he did not like, made him want to cringe. What would happen? His mind spun. He felt ready to vomit. Fuck. Had he vomited already? It was hard to tell. Now he was lost, unsure of what had actually happened and what was just a figment of his imagination. What had happened to him? Could someone please tell James what just happened?

James didn't wait for a response. He didn't need to. He already knew.

his eyes rolled up.

In the end James Mulzet stopped worrying about his situation. It was all over. Just take a deep breath and let the numb take over you James.

Yet there was so much James wanted to worry about and that there was still work to be done. He had to be the hero.

And then it hit James like a brick to the face that now,

in the blinding darkness of his soul,

his cocoon of lost potential,

nothing really mattered.

Not a damn thing.

Nothin

g mat

ters

no

w

.

And James Mulzet hoped that the others would be able to find solace in their own mental prisons. Just as he did in his final hour.

He joined the 51 other guests by the warm fire in the manor

And 224 lost souls were left to freeze to death outside.
Edited by Ciel, Oct 19 2010, 12:49 PM.
V6

G052 - Reed, Jasmine - 0% - Falchion - START END
G060 - Pfeiffer, Scout - 100% - Sawlaska Thunderfuck 5000 - START
G025 - Reyes, Audrey - 0% - Nunchaku - START END

releases greatest hits album, is an one-hit wonder
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