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Little Boy
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As the unbearable tense situation began to unravel, so did Jay. He seemed to shrink a good two feet, slouching down and letting out a nervous laugh.

"Ohhh man..." He mumbled to no one in particular as Jojo began to speak. "Ohhh man..."

You fucked up Jay, you fucked up yet again. If you hadn't have been so jittery, if you'd have just calmed down for one fucking second and used your brain, you wouldn't be on death row in the first place. Because really, that's all that's changed. You were once on the firing line, now you're on death row. And they won't even give you your last cigarette or anything fancy like in the movies.

"I'm sorry man, really, it was my bad." He mumbled out loud to the group. It seemed like the conversation was going on without him. Jay shook his head and began to listen.

What with the most topical event at the moment being me y'know, almost fucking killing someone, it might do me good to hear how my apology went over.

John was going about, introducing this new kid to the group. A boy named Sunil by the looks of things.

I don't think I'm ever gonna be buddies with this kid, no matter how many times I buy him booze...

"Hi." Jay managed to squeak out, something that was mostly ignored by Sunil. Jay couldn't really blame him, given the circumstances. It seemed Jojo's speech had done little to calm him down, hell, it might have even antagonized him more. In any case, the kid was ranting, pointing down towards Jay with disgust, as if he were a dog who just took a shit all over his owners prize Persian rug.

"You cannot be allowed to carry a gun except in special circumstances. If your first instinct upon seeing a new person when you're carrying a gun is to shoot them, I don't want you having it. That's it."

Jay flinched. He'd been lucky, drawing a weapon he could actually use. By the looks of things, Jojo had got clothing. Maria didn't even have anything it had seemed. And now this kid, this Sunil, wanted Jay to give it away?

Fuck that! He's just going to shoot me in the fucking back, first chance I get... He probably wants me gun. That's why he's still sticking around! Maybe he doesn't HAVE a weapon, so as soon as I hand him my fucking weapon, he's gonna fuckin' shoot me in the face..? Oh no, I'm not falling for that you Dickface!

But how? How the fuck am I going to convince anyone, after that spectacular example of failure? Fuck, John was trusting me, I might as well have thrown all that shit out the window. Fucking Maria ran away! If Jojo wasn't here, they'd shoot me and that'd be that. Jay, when are you actually going to start getting shit right? Why couldn't they have dropped me next to Alex? He's probably got off this fucking rock by now, along with everyone within a 2 mile radius. Meanwhile I'm fucking ruining potential alliances as soon as I make them...

Jay zoned back into the conversation. Jojo seemed to be on the same page as him, arguing to allow him to carry the gun. He allowed himself to smile slightly, he didn't dare to try to move or collect his bag, he didn't want to give John another reason to raise his gun. Jojo bent down to remove something from his bag. The boy looked up and whispered at Jay, low enough to avoid the others from hearing it.

""I don't trust Sunil, whatever you do, don't let him have the gun."

Jay nodded in agreement. As soon as he did so, he felt like slapping himself in the face.

You fucking moron. He's whispering something to you. They're gonna think you're fucking nuts, nodding your head to nothing in particular.

I'm lucky. Fucking lucky. I coulda' gotten a shit weapon, I got lucky, I got a pistol. I coulda' got shot by some crazed psycho, I got lucky, I got dropped near some harmless shy hotty and Fatty John. Very lucky in that regard I guess I could say. But why? Why does the useless stoner get all this? I barely even got my diploma, God knows how many times I failed that fucking Literacy Test. So why me? Why not give the gun to J.J or Rob? Or one of the Kronwalls', or Charlotte Cave? Someone who knows what to do, someone who's got a future! Do they expect something of me? Do they expect me to finally fucking do something with my life?

I can't do anything, and for once it's good. Because here? Here if I do something..., if I do something, I might not be Jay anymore afterwards...

Maybe Jojo should just take the gun. Fuck, why don't I just give it to Sunil now so he can shoot my dick off and we can have an end of it?

Jay looked back towards John and Sunil. He adjusted his hat, trying to avoid looking down at the rather menacing shotgun in John's hand.

He loaded that thing. If Jojo didn't come along, I'd have been dead, "Always run in a serpentine fashion" my ass, a fat lot of fucking good that'd do me against that thing. Does he wanna test it out? Would he object to blowing my stoner brains out? Sunil wouldn't, that's for God damn sure... You need to fucking start thinking Jay. You NEED to start realizing that it isn't all well and good anymore. These guys could be plotting to kill you right now, kill you and fucking kill Jojo too. Can I trust John anymore? Did he believe a word I said? They could be coming up with something right now... you gotta watch them. Moreover, you need more people on your side...

"Look.. I'll put the gun in my bag, for now. It'll stay there, I won't touch it. I won't even fuckin' load it- like I did before. Now maybe they'll think I actually know how to use the god damn thing...- you'll know if I even touch it. We'll- we'll just all sit on this for now, we'll go find Maria, how does that sound? That sound all good, just- just relaxing, without any gun pointing. We're off to a good start, now how does that sound?"
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Oswaldo Marx --> "Chicks dig scars? Yeah, I'm calling bullshit." --> Cicada Nights
Mikko "Mike" Korhonen --> "Interesting, very interesting!" --> A Casual Question
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I'll Need A Saviour · The Woods: Inland