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You hate kings and you think kings are really stupid. They are petty, bossy tyrants and are really full of themselves and are basically awful in every way.
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"The sensible thing to do is to shoot them. Or at least shoot Nick and then start macking on Claire."

Well. How about that. Marybeth Witherspoon, you are just dumb as shit. Going around inciting murders all chirpy and bouncy... well, at the very least, it was a refreshing sign that some things never changed. The sun shined, the birds sang, the flowers grew, and Marybeth Witherspoon was just dumb as shit.

Julian resisted the urge to start shouting at her about exactly how dumb she was (as shit), since Goofy Old Nick looked like he had the shouting covered. A far more pressing concern was Claire running off to find her friend: unarmed, scared girl taking off into the foreboding distance to look for someone completely aimlessly. Shit was gonna end up on the evening news unless she had a guy with a badass sword watching her back. Not that Julian's reasons for wanting to follow her were born out of sexist chivalry, since Teo the Ren Faire Asshole looked like he had the sexism covered.

So he had a few options. He could stay and sign up for whatever agreement Nick and Teo were working out, but that prospect was growing less and less interesting. He'd already done his part by defusing the earlier deadliness, and those two could figure out the rest for themselves. He could run off and tag along with Claire, which honestly seemed like the right thing to do. Or he could stay and strike up a conversation with Marybeth, which- Hahahahaha, yeah, not gonna happen.


She did present a problem. Left to her own devices, it seemed like she wouldn't be satisfied till she'd convinced half the island to murder the other half. Julian imagined a perky girl with curly brown hair bouncing atop an endless pile of bodies. Babbling to nobody in particular about which pairs of corpses looked cutest together. Avoid that outcome if at all possible.

But Julian wasn't exactly sure how, short of outright taking her out of the competition. Which was not. An. Option. As the rest of the gathering chatted amongst themselves, Julian quickly took stock of what he know about Marybeth. What did she like? Violence. Out of the question. Gossip. Not sure how I can use that... Romance Wait a minute. Think I got somethin'.

"Julian! Get out here where people can see you. The cameras are pointed here, not there."

Julian couldn't help but crack a little smile. And she wants me to come out and put on a show! I love it when a plan comes together. It was that simple, Marybeth wanted a good show. Or... her definition of a good show. That could involve rampant violence, sure, but if Marybeth's endless sordid gossiping was any indication, it could also involve some cheesy soap opera romance bullshit. Julian could handle that. With any luck, Marybeth would be... satisfied, or at the very least confused enough that she wasn't telling folks to murder each other. And he could move onto protecting Claire. And so:

Julian Avery, a strapping young lad with a troubled past but a heart of gold, boldly stepped out of the bushes. He cast a steely gaze at Marybeth Witherspoon and started to stride towards her. "Out in the open?" came his booming voice. "Is that how you prefer it now? I remember you used to have so many..." Dramatic pause. "Secrets. How do I know if I can trust you, Marybeth? I don't even know anymore whether the baby is mine!" He turned towards the nearest camera and looked distraught, anguished. Then back to Marybeth. "But goddammit, Marybeth Witherspoon..." He brushed her hair away from her face with a tender hand and spoke softly. "I still love you."

And then he kissed her on the forehead. He turned away and looked conflicted, doing his best to inform viewers that though this romance was touching and heartfelt, it was also troubled. "I... I have to go. Don't try to follow me, it's too dangerous."

Julian took off, not really having any intention to survey the aftermath of his (admittedly quite heroic) idiocy. He made a quick dash by the bushes to pull his sword out from the ground, then doubled around in a fairly wide arc to try and catch up with Claire. Teo, Nick, and Marybeth could have fun with whatever, even if whatever turned out to be talking about what an idiot and a creep Julian was.

Oh, the sacrifices that Julian Avery made in the name of peace.

((Julian Avery continued in Bump in the Night))
Edited by Jonny, Aug 23 2010, 01:12 PM.
Jeremy Franco is alive. You can write a better ending, goddammit.

Charlie DuClare is dead. And nothing was easy anymore except to smile.
Julian Avery is dead. Courage was the man with a gun in his hand.
JJ Sturn is dead. Fuck it, all good things gotta come to an end.
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Resolve · The Parish