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Blastinus
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That's Just Crazy Talk
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I see Ash Holmes' profile and a few alarm bells immediately sound. Things like "Has no concept of basic morality", "Obsessed with parkour and living for thrills", "Alienates others and doesn't have any friends", and of course "Dead parents." It's like going down a laundry list of every premade player trope imaginable, and I can't help but wonder if Ash was the blueprint by which future players were born.

First point of order, he's yet another character who got their smokes onto the island. And this actually matters, since in his one and only kill, he actually burns someone's hands with them, but first, he's got to try his hand at a regular conversation. Apparently he's decided to imitate every slasher horror character at once in his interaction with Xian, letting out a laugh that's like "a murder of crows" then talking in a harsh whisper. He's laying it on so thick, it's downright laughable. And Xian just responds with incredulity and mockery, so even she's not buying into it. He lets out a bunch of pseudo-intellectual garbage that ultimately doesn't mean anything, and Xian responds by backing off and heading for the hills.

Next thread, he encounters the pregnant Sophie Maraschino and extends an "offer" to her to let her out of her misery. Fearfully reaching for her weapon, she shoots him full in the chest, but doesn't know about his assigned weapon: a kevlar vest. This reveal is genuinely disquieting and eerie, and I actually have to give Ash's handler credit for framing this scene the way they do, because it feels like something out of a slasher horror film. He gets shot, looks down at where Sophie hit him, and then starts walking at her again. And to his credit, he just holds her down and drowns her in a stream without doing the downright disgusting and tasteless stuff that pregnant characters would be subjected to in later versions. All of this gave him some definite bonus points in my eyes. There's actual depth to this character that he didn't exhibit in his opening thread.

I suppose it's only fitting then that this decent villain would get done in by a generic crazy. Cillian Crowe is a babbling idiot who wants to play "games" with people, and I dislike him immensely from the little I see of him. As the two of them tussle, rolling back and forth in the sand, Ash and Cillian give each other a lot of shilling in how the two of them fight, which I appreciate. They don't try to force a simple conclusion, and the end of the fight where Ash takes a cleaver to the brain feels like there was a decent leadup to it and a proper payoff.

I wasn't sold on Ash at first, but once I saw him properly in action, I felt like he had potential to be a more likable Cody Jenson. Shame that his story ended as early as it did.

One more please!
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