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Randomness
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Is in some state of existence
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Elise's profile isn't bad, but it's still not great. That said this is the first v1 profile I've fully read, so take this with a grain of salt. Her appearance notes that people tell her that her hair is pretty, that she's plump but not fat, and how she wears black but isn't goth.

She's both poor but elitist, a combination that I honestly think is an interesting start for a character, but it's also coupled with androphobia/misandry, because she was bullied by boys before transferring to an all-girls school, an issue which I thoroughly assume is going to be explored in a manner that such a complex subject deserves. She's also an exchange student and has a reputation of having "an appreciation of violence", which I assume is v1 profile code for "likes beating shit up".

Elise playes out with more nuance than I expect, though she's surprisingly aware of what's going on. There's an offhanded statement about sorta knowing how guns work from video games, but you know Elise, World of Guns: Gun Disassembly only came out in 2014, so how well do you really know guns?

As she tests the gun, she notices one Peri Barclay, who is turning this into a holdup. He just wants the gun, and she starts out indignant, but turns fearful when he notes that he's already killed someone. As a note, as far as I've parsed his first post, he only found a body, but I actually can't make heads or tails of it. (Note from me from the future: he's a lying liar who lyingly lies and this becomes important later)

In any case, Elise makes this a strong scene, and if Peri's writing was better, she would be a recommendation from this scene alone. But once he actually robs her, Peri offers her a cigarette and an alliance, tossing her weapon back to her. From this point on, they work as an awkward duo, Peri being a dick in a way that seems more fitting for a forty year old than a sixteen year old kid, with Elise slowly realising that Peri's ideas are designed to keep him safe, and not her.

Later on, their time at the lookout point is interrupted by the arrival of Stevan, and he joins the group, leading Elise to become more paranoid about the two of them ganging up on her. As they enter the small house, she runs off with the gun that Peri had offered her earlier. She thinks she's okay, when Peri, who was chasing her this whole time, catches up. He shoots her in the legs, taking his gun back and leaves her for dead.

Somehow, she makes it to the hospital where the Doddsquad comes upon her. They are about to help her, when a gunfight breaks out due to the definitely coincidental arrivals, Stevan and Peri (Jacob was there too but he matters little to Elise's story). Most of them run and leave Elise, who is unable to follow. Stevan tortures her for a bit, before Peri interrupts them to stop Stevan, but in a confusing move, he tosses her back to Stevan who kills her.

In all, I think Elise is worth a read. Slight minus for having to suffer through the combined grammatical wreck that Peri and Stevan are and her voicework is inconsistent, but she has an interesting path, which is very self contained, as well as several interesting ideas, though many of which are never explored as much as I'd like. Her death thread is the main flaw in an otherwise strong character. The gunfight is largely skippable if you are reading her as she posts only once during it, but really, shame on the Doddsquad for leaving her behind.

Give me another kid that I can procrastinate on.
Edited by Randomness, Oct 19 2017, 01:49 AM.
"I have the heart of a young boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk" -- Stephen King

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The V1 Read-A-Thon · Roleplaying Discussion