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personification of adhd
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I had really high hopes for Damien, really I did. Even with everyone warning me about what was to come, I still had hope, and that hope was entirely misplaced, because while the writing skill for Damien was technically good, he is perhaps one of the most shockingly bad characters I've ever seen on SOTF. There's characters in v2 like [insert Bukowski character here] who are just overtly bad and it really hits you in the face with it, but Damien's badness is a stealth bad. It's not a bad from a lack of skill, it's a bad because of misplaced intentions. You don't know what kind of ride you're in for until you're already halfway through and it's too late to jump out because the car's moving at 80mph already and you don't stop until it wants you to stop.


The tragedy here is he didn't have to be this bad. The writing in pregame was, for the time, actually rather good. Laz was good at setting a scene, getting a good look into Damien's head and the way he interacts with people, and we even get a good look at Damien's mother Nicole (who, as chat will have you know, is probably the best parental figure in v2 alongside CJ the Hook-Handed janitor), and he even had some interesting interactions with some very v2 characters e.g. a girl who stabbed someone's throat in the middle of a classroom fight, and some random who offered to skip school with him because he was bored. There's hints as to what Damien will become, what with the intense focus on the bullying he receives, what his mother does to help him, and the delusions he will go through both IC and OOC that end up defining him.

And for about 90% of his first v2 game thread, the good writing continues. I'd say apart from a few technical niggles (that's not how blood pressure works Laz, that's not how any of it works), it's pretty much one of the best written introductions for a character you can get on SOTF...until the last bit, where suddenly he's got a voice speaking to him in his head, implied to be his dearly departed father or the devil or something? But I press onward, because I'm desperate to see if this will end up interesting. I STILL HAD HOPE.


He runs into throat-stabby girl Kristey at the Pagoda as well as everyone's favourite gay Peter Rosenthal where they agree to team up with him. He's nervous about this because he, despite how half his threads had random NPCs being nice to him, was still not used to people being nice to him. Turns out his fears are founded, however, since Kristey takes Peter aside to be all "k so we kill Damien if he becomes a problem right?" and then Damien hears that and this is where he gets the excuse to run into the plot that Laz wanted all along: Damien Takes Revenge On The Popular People Who Wronged Him, and he was going to run through with this plot regardless of whatever happened to him, and that's a no-no when you're in a collaborative RP. Half of the people who've been mean to Damien so far have been his own other characters/NPCs so it feels really self-contained to go through with something like this. Anyways, he dramatically writes a Death List even with potential allies/list members like 5 feet away, Kristey discovers him, tells him to fuck off, and fuck off he does.


He fucks off to some random garden where he meets up with Eli McConnell and they bro down for a while until Eli goes inactive and Damien kills him in a needlessly gory way for cool points, because you gotta have the Revenge storyline get its start somehow and plain killings are for loser non-main character kids, not Damien. It's at this point where Damien pretty much starts blaming his mother for everything that's happened, and to Laz's credit it's pretty much framed half and half Damien being crazy and Nicole /actually/ being an evil matriarch from hell, so when Damien starts blaming Nicole for kidnapping everyone I think it's /supposed/ to come off sort of crazy? But then it's intercut with scenes of Nicole's co-workers blaming her for her son killing so idk, shrug.


Damien meets back up with Kristey who notices he's begun his revenge plot and proceed to read him into the ground for being no better than the people he torments, which was fun, but then he just kills her so womp-womp. All throughout this is still being framed as everyone else being wrong and Damien being The Chosen One, so idk. I'm beginning to think the namechoice was less than subtle.

So Damien wins best kill award and gets to share the glory with Huy which is like 10% funny because he blames Nicole for this and 90% ":/" because he then turns racist out of nowhere, calling Huy/Sonia the Viet Cong and other delightful turns of phrase. I didn't know SOTF writers made tenure.

He then has an entire scene in the middle of a Paris/Garry fight scene where he dresses up as Sailor Mars and of course I'm rolling my eyes but I actually hate both the other characters just as much so it's a slight reprieve I guess. He then teams up with Garry Dodd in order to go hunt down Paris because Cartoon Recognizes Cartoon. I then pull out a bottle of duty-free mandarin vodka I had stored in my fridge that I hadn't opened because I am literally not getting paid enough to read a single thread that has both Garry Dodd and Damien Carter-Madison in it, let alone two.

In my hangover-induced state I see to remember them finding Paris's suicided body and Garry cuts his head off because he's Garry Dodd, and Damien decides to kill Garry because broken clocks are right twice a day. Garry's exit post contains lyrics to a Boney M song because nothing is sacred.

Damien chases Garry down and dramatically shoots him off the cliff, so we're officially down to one self-important narcissist in a scene instead of two. This is good only because I am glad Garry Dodd is dead. This is bad because we have to listen to the same self-serving narrative about Damien Taking Revenge repeated for the tenth time, and bolstering Damien's hundreds of NPC characters including his v3 flagship. We get it Laz, Damien is the main character of v2 (on the plus side, we find out what Nicole's up to this post - she's sleeping).

Damien then enters a thread where Nealosi kills a bunch of his own characters I think? idk I'm only contracted for reading Damien. He then engages in one of the only parts of his entire story where he acknowledges another character's actions besides his own when he connects both Kristey and Garry calling him weak as they die, which is both factual and correct. Anyways, he meets Franco and the two have history which was apparently Damien getting the crap beaten out of him at the party in his last pregame thread which, surprise, he blames Nicole for! Franco is OTT in a bad way but doesn't treat himself as though he's the main character so I guess I like him slightly more than Damien. I love grading on this scale. This also happens:

He reflexively put a hand to his face as Franco recoiled into a large unit of industrial machinery, and immediately felt something slippery and smelled and then tasted something quite rusty. As soon as his taste buds felt it, he forced a smile and licked his chops.


He'd tasted his own blood, trickling from a fairly busted nose. Not that he had too much time to savor every drop.

we get it Laz Damien is Evil. their fight is cut short when Mitsuko2 kills three of Nealosi's characters in a hilariously short inactivekill post which also robs Damien of the chance to gloat over more kills so thanks Mitsuko2.

Damien's next two threads are threads where he once again gets to pimp out Damien by culling inactives at his alter and these are neither interesting scenes, scenes which develop Damien's character in any meaningful way, or even scenes that are worth recapping because you already know the drill at this point. Damien Is Evil, Damien Is Crazy, Damien Blames Nicole, Damien Has Gotten His Revenge.

His penultimate thread is an extended battle sequence between Damien and Mariavel that is notable in that Megami actually comes in to tell them they're taking too long and they're delaying endgame, so Mariavel gets a mortal wound in for Damien before skulking off to go take part in the saddest SOTF thread ever written, while Damien goes and dies alone on a park bench while Nicole considers disowning him. Fair decision I'd say.


The one word I can use to describe Damien is "selfish". His narrative has no consideration for any other character but Damien and Damien's hundreds of NPCs, many of whom are culled at his feet to raise his profile (the number of characters not written by Damien who get killed by him? 2). Damien's story itself is, in spite of the technically good writing, shockingly bad and immature and deployed for shock value almost just as much as any of Bukowski's characters. Half of anything that happened in Damien's story would have had him laughed out of v3, let alone v4 and beyond, and I'm pretty sure if you asked Laz as he wrote this he would be unaware that anything else happened in v2 besides Damien Carter-Madison. A cursory glance of the v2 era wiki pretty much has him cheering on Bryan to win v2 because Mariavel killed Damien. It's that kind of character.

I've always been a bolster of v1-3 as products of their times and something that should be judged accordingly, but no amount of nostalgia goggles will filter out just how insultingly bad Damien is. I hesitate to call anyone the worst character of a version or the worst character of all time but if I was to make such a decision, Damien would be up there for just how bad he was and how badly he was deployed. There was hope at the beginning, but it was dashed against the rocks by the end of his second in-game thread. He's nothing but revenge fantasy disguised as an SOTF character and is not worth reading even one post of.

Avoid like the fucking plague.

#NicoleForParentOfTheYear #NicoleDidNothingWrong
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I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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The V2 Read-o-thon · Roleplaying Discussion