Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
DealsFor.me - The best sales, coupons, and discounts for you
Viewing Single Post From: The V2 Read-o-thon
Flare
Member Avatar
*insert dance song here*
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Alright, ELI MCCONNELL, let's kick it.

Let's take a look at the profile, and

"Hair is naturally auburn and color, and unlike many in Gilroy suddenly wanting to dye their hair in these radical colors in order to gain attention from not only friends, but also it seemed the staff as well."

This is like the 4th sentence, and the startlingly bad grammar present doesn't really fill me with hope on the readability of the rest of it.

His appearance section decides that him having worn eyeliner for literally ONE HOUR of his life is notable enough to mention, but otherwise there's nothing that off kilter about. As for his profile, he's not a psychopath or a former killer or anything like that, so that's good I guess? His father runs a big business in NYC and his mother runs a smaller one in Denton, so he just... doesn't see his father, apparently? They're not divorced, and I guess his dad has to live in NYC for his job... and his mom isn't willing to just live with him in the city, especially considering the fact that he seems fabulously wealthy? Some people are really attached to their own businesses, sure, but she's really prioritizing her own work over her kids EVER SEEING THEIR FATHER? But nothing in the profile indicates that he dislikes her for this or anything, so I guess he's just cool with it. Eli's just mad at his dad because his dream is photography, but his dad just wants him to run his super successful business when he grows up, ugh, dads are the WORST. But then the end of the profile mentions Eli "not wanting to work in a factory all day like his father wants him too", so apparently he is supposed to run the company but also work in a factory? Maybe publishing companies just have really hand-on CEOs, I'm certainly no expert.

But this isn't the worst logic I've ever seen, and otherwise Eli is just a normal boy, so he's got some potential here. One minor detail I like is that one of his main hobbies is piano, despite him having only done it for about a year. It's entirely possible that this was just thrown in by Eli's writer to meet a hobby requirement without having to work it into the backstory too much, but I find it pretty realistic that he's into something that he's just started - not every hobby someone has has been a huge part of their lives for 4+ years, and I feel like that's not represented enough in profiles. But maybe I just haven't read enough profiles.

Luckily for me, Eli doesn't appear to have any pre-game, so onto the island we go! He starts off by waking up in the Botanical Garden and going 'woe is me' and all that stuff until he cuts his hand on his weapon, a coil of barbed wire. Nice and... effective. He patches himself up before running into Eric Silvstedt, and Eric...

Quote:
 
"Well... hello," he cooed wickedly.


Eric coos at him. Wow.

I'm like Eli more and more - in his next post, he both realizes that this Obviously Evil Boy is Obviously Evil AND briefly wonders if he's being judgemental, while also thinking about how his fencing skills aren't super useful because they don't teach you how to actually gosh darn kill people. This all strikes me as very realistic, and shows Eric as a sharp kid just trying to figure out HOW to survive.

But Eric just kinda punches him and knocks him to the ground and starts strangling him, and then Matthias shows up with Whitney and kicks Eric in the head because apparently they've had some beef in the past, and then they start DRAMATIC DIALOGUING at each other... Eli just isn't really being given a chance to breathe in this scene (pun TOTALLY intended) because all the other characters have this history and forcefulness and ~drama~ to them that he just ends up in the background.

And then DAMIEN CARTER-MADISON.

Damien comes in being all psychotic and diabolical and using song posts and a bunch of other things that no human should partake in and watches the fight go on. He notices Eli and Eli notices Damien but they still don't really do anything as Eric and Matthias just kinda keep fighting until they both run off and Whitney follows and Peter and Kristey show up and Damien has more beef and a LIST or something and Eli just doesn't MATTER...

And then the next thread rolls along and I realize he's gone inactive! Yaaaaaaaay.

laZardo takes over Eli for his final thread, in which Eli acts wildly out of character to prop Damien up by apparently not noticing his Obvious Evil whatsoever and just lashing out at Damien over a slight indication that he might have seen the person he's looking for on the island (something which is mentioned a few times but never really seems to drive him). So Damien knocks him down with his pot lid, steals Eli's barbed wire, and strangles him with it before bold red text-ing off into the distance. I repeat: Yaaaaaaaay.

---

So Eli was yet another example of a character who was mildly interesting with a bit of potential that got overshadowed by V2's, um, forceful personalities and then had his handler go inactive and got a death worse than what he probably deserved. Not a bad read, but still a definite pass for lack of impact.
V5 Characters:

Jack McDonald is a SELF-INSERT YAY.
Offline Profile Quote Post
The V2 Read-o-thon · Roleplaying Discussion