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Cause what you see isn't always the truth
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So I read Jack Russell. Here we go.

Profile: What the fuck?

"Jack’s grades and musical talent has caused him to have the highest GPA in his class (this causes him to be on National Junior Honors Society)..."

"Jack is known for being a complete and total joker, it is rare for Jack to take anything seriously and this has gotten him in trouble in the past."

Um. No.

So Jack's mom is heavily pregnant with him and still coaching dance classes when " the excruciating pain and the weight of the baby caused her to collapse." Also "the charlatans she had to work" for some reason made a woman seconds from popping a baby out "go up on stage and demonstrate a ballet step."


"Her ankles where rendered almost useless and shortly after giving birth she was told that she would never be able to dance again she managed to inject her vein with an air bubble… killing her almost instantly. As if Jack’s birth couldn’t get any more disturbing future investigation of Jack’s blood proved that he was the product of an affair his mother had with one of the many male dancers she worked with. In a surprising act of nobility Jack’s father decided to raise Jack as if he was his own"

How do these things lead to one another? How does labor destroy your ankles? How did she inject her vein with an air bubble (I know how you do, but how did she?)? Why is the birth of her son not motive enough to keep going? Why did they investigate his blood? Aren't they concerned with the woman killing herself? Where's Jack's real dad?

Uh, it eventually comes out but doesn't seem to matter.

"A note where Jack fell from social grace would’ve to be in his sixth grade year..."

Oh good, we've gone back in time after describing his high school life.

"Jack found himself being bullied by some eighth graders and was thus panced in gym class and thrown into the girls locker room, with no pants or boxers on. The only catch was that the eleven year old Jack Russell had yet to develop…at all."

I have no idea what "develop...at all" means in this context. I'm guessing it means he has no pubes, but the phrasing makes me think he's 11 and his balls haven't dropped. Yeah, actually, that sounds right. Jack has no testicles. IT'S CANON, GODAMMIT.

"This caused him to become the brunt of many joke thorough the year, however this caused him to cultivate a friendship with Mai. She prevented him from becoming a social pariah and thus they’re very close."

Did he relate to her because she had no testicles too? Whatever. Let's move on.

Pregame: He has two threads, two posts total. One is on the ugly-ass old board and is shared with Jonathan Michaels. They're reacting to the murder and smoking. They're both insufferable, and the shared post makes it hard to tell who's talking.

The second thread is a homeroom. Jack appears once, but honestly, everyone here is so loathsome I didn't want to read too deep. Homerooms seemed better in concept than execution.

Game: Jack has only one thread where he's handled by his original handler. This is also the only thread where he interacts with someone besides Mai.

He wakes up nearly suffocating because his war hammer was in his bag and it was placed on his chest. Mai saves him, they look around for a bit. Tanesha appears, and he makes some really unfunny comments about her weight and skin color to scare her aware. Somehow it works, but now I hate this fucker.

After that is a three-thread continuous chain. He and Mai talk, but at this point, Mai's handler is writing him, so these posts are more Mai's than Jack's. Jack loses any sort of character and just becomes someone Mai has to bounce off and react to. He somehow figures out that he killed that chick in pregame just because he sees her taking pills and runs away (hey, a guy was stabbed to death in Vermont and I used a knife to make dinner tonight. Am I the murderer?)

After that is the final thread between these two. Again, it's Mai's post, really. Jack is just here to have his face and arms chopped off unnecessarily before Mai offs herself. And that's it.

Jack Russell Terrier is unfunny, dull, and solely a prop for Mai's story. Any character that is glimpsed in his profile is muddied under unflattering characterization and one-dimensional complexity. He loses all autonomy and personality once Mai's handler takes him over, and it doesn't make Mai interesting either. Now she's just a psycho who's taking her psychosis off on this dude because he's a friend, and that makes his maiming all the more shocking an action by her.

Oh, and this also made me realize my V7 kid Tanisha is super similar to this Tanesha, so I really have to overhaul the fuck out of this character to avoid comparisons. Also, Mai and Paris suck.
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