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MK Kilmarnock
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Hate, hate, HATE!!!
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Sorry for taking so long, but I'm reading through Jenna now. Here are my, uh... 'thoughts' (man, wish I could turn my brain off for this).

Jenna has a single thread in the 'distant past' section... sorta. It's a single post by Chase and I read it, then instantly forgot it, then went back and re-read it because it's just such a nothing piece of information that tells me absolutely nothing about the character. It's also not truly a piece of Jenna herself because it wasn't written by the author. Moving on to pre-game.

Oh, but before I go too crazy, let's call attention to Jenna's profile, which is a work of art much in the same way Okalani's was. Her interests are 'The Hellbirds, not much else', which is instantly painting a picture of this character in my head. And the picture is a single line, because that's one-dimensional as fuck. The appearance doesn't do any favors either, with lines such as "... the girl has a rather interesting caboose, that if anyone noticed under her baggy cargo capris they would be castrated" and "First to notice Jenna's pointed nose would get decked in a minute". We get it. She's violent. The biography backs this up by turning her into nothing but a thug in one of the billion gangs apparently filling New Jersey. The only service the bio actually does to her is point out that she's nothing more than a teenage stereotype, a "ne'er do well."

Jenna has, for a V2 character, a decent amount of threads with four pre-game threads and four proper game threads. The first is "How many ways can you define the word 'cow'?", which has a whooooole lot of... something going on. Jenna pops in for a two-post drive-by calling Mariavel a whore, then entering the bathroom... which is where 'Bank on this, Bitch' takes us. You know how sometimes kids have profiles that are a complete mismatch to a character's actions? This is NOT one of those. CATFIGHT, CATFIIIIIIIIGHT!


I thought reading Jenna would have to be the most painful thing I do today, and this is the same day I got a huge blister on my index finger during band practice. Unfortunately, I also have to read Mariavel. Two posts into this thread and I honestly want to call it quits, but instead, let's make it fun: let's tally up all the times somebody should have totally died in this fight but didn't, or does something quite unlikely in the realm of possibility.

1. Mariavel is thrown full-tilt into a bathroom stall and crashes head first into the toilet seat. Dead.
2. Jenna slips off her jacket in between the time it takes Mariavel to come rushing out of the stall (she's already on her way out before Jenna even starts) and to meet her mid-charge, then holds it out like a matador, complete with a shout of 'ole'. Yes, she really does this.
3. In the same breath, Jenna grabs Mariavel's hair and stomps on the rear of the girl's knee, but Mariavel completely no-sells it- nae, LAUGHS IT OFF, claiming that her hair has been pulled out so many times (presumably by her abusive father) that it doesn't even faze her. She then sweeps Jenna's legs.
4. While falling to the ground, Jenna somehow kicks Mariavel in the chest, comes up behind her and locks her in a full nelson.
5. Mariavel manages to headbutt Jenna. While in a full nelson.
6. Jenna manages to lift a toilet seat while locking Mariavel in a full nelson. Psychic powers confirmed.
7. Mariavel's arm is twisted behind her back but she goes for a knife anyway, to 'plunge it into Jenna's arm'. Jenna is only scratched.
8. Jenna slams the seat down on Mariavel's head and stomps on her ankle.
9. Mariavel gets up moments later, acknowledging she'll 'have bruises'.

Now, if I have a reputation as SotF's fight scene guru, allow me to dispense my full analysis of that fight scene: it fucking stunk on ice. Mariavel leaves to go back to "Cow" but Jenna enters a thread called "Down the Stairs Your Ride Awaits", which is unfortunately lost on the Invisionfree site but exists in some fragments in the Distant Past section. In this glorious piece of world building, we meet about Alex Stevens, a character central in Jenna's story (in pregame at least) and the leader of the Hellbirds, the gang she's in. We learn through Alex that Denton is apparently sharing a universe with 'The Warriors' as the area is positively riddled with gangs for miles around. They're even themed!

"He'd much rather go north of his turf with some other Hellbirds and bash up some Jackals, or south to tangle with the Prophets (a Christian gang that dressed in priest robes and shaved their heads, they killed anyone who wasn't Christian or did anything they considered "ungodly". They mainly used knives and guns, but the biggest member of the gang-appropriately nicknamed Goliath by his fellow Prophets, as he was over seven feet tall and all muscle- often used a bike chain as a weapon, and it wasn't unheard of for them to agree to a simple fistfight, as had happened about a year prior in a territory dispute."

Holy shit, a gang of preachers, and they're led by the gang version of Big Show!? That sounds badass! The Bloody Fists sound like total pissants compared to any of these hotshots. At least, that's what the narrative here is trying very, very hard to push. Things go on for a long while between Alex, Jenna and John and unfortunately several pieces of the thread are missing. Beyond those initial bits of 'what the everlasting flavor of fuck' world building we get nothing interesting. Last pregame thread.

Jenna skips every class and then skips the trip to the principal's office because she is a badass and going to class is for SQUARES! John, the hanger-on from the previous thread hangs out with a cheery attitude which of course is met with a less-than-enthusiastic response from the dour Jenna. John speaks a whooooole lotta crazy at her, hits on her a little bit, and then the two go their separate ways. Nothing of major interest happens here except hinting at a bit of a relationship between the two, and also it's heavily implied this takes place after the Mariavel fight... so when did all that shit with Alex happen, then? That seemed like it was another day. Whatever. No more time for questions, only the game proper.

Which will be continued later because it is very late.
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