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Kermit
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eEeEEEeEEEeeEeeeee
[ *  *  *  * ]
Burton Harris, AKA. Ken Lawrence, AKA. Kenurton Larris, is an amazing read. He's got some confusing and convoluted plot related to V3 which I won't talk about because this is the V2 RAT. Also, he's not the real Burton Harris. I think I'll be calling Kenurton "The Nurtmeister" in this writeup. Also Also he's written by Dodd.

Profile:

TLDR of his appearance: HE LOOKS LIKE A DIRTY COMMIE HIPPY *insert Nixonesque rambling here*

The Nurtmeister is a very smart boy. He scores off the charts on IQ tests, but does not do so on school tests. Because The Nurtmeister is a very smart boy, school bores him and he just doesn't give a shit. He likes writing, though. The Nurtmeister writes an advice column in the school newspaper where he masquerades as a 14-year-old girl. I am concerned by this behavior.

The Nurtmeister's profile
 
Burton doesn't have any crazy idiosyncratic tendancies, he's not a maniac, he's not a sociopath


YES THANK YOU BLESSED DODD! Also The Nurtmeister wrote a play based on V1. Okaaaaaaay...

The Nurtmeister is basically always high on marijuana, and the school is okay with this for some reason. Also, he always keeps a cool head, even in like the most traumatic circumstances.





Pregame: IT'S A MYSTERY!






Island: So, uh, I guess Xaldien's handling The Nurtmeister now. Rip Dodd.

The Nurtmeister's first thoughts
 
I could really use some weed right about now.


: )

Also he's in a DZ and heeeeeeeereeeee's Chiaki! The Nurtmeister points his gun at Chiaki for no reason while she's running the heck out of the DZ and then tackles her. Why? Why did u do that The Nurtmeister?

Actual conversation between The Nurtmeister and Chiaki after the tackle
 
"You fucking idiot, let me get away from here," she creamed as she struggled and punched to get him off of her.
"Stupid woman, what the hell are you talking about."


Hm, so, okay...

First off, Chiaki creamed. Ew. Icky! Barffff! Gross, Chiaki. I knew you were into murderviolence, but not like that. Two, does "Stupid woman, what the hell are you talking about." sound like something The Nurtmeister as described in his profile would say? No, I don't think it does.

Chiaki punches The Nurtmeister in the face and grabs her gun. Then, Chiaki begins to run away from The Nurtmeister because she's in a DZ and her collar's beeping, but The Nurtmeister fucking tackles her again. The Nurtmeister, do u know how this whole SOTF thing works?

The Nurtmeister's thoughts again
 
His regular cool started to fade away. Where's weed when you need it?


Christ on a bike, The Nurtmeister, you've really got a problem. You've gotta stop injecting those marijuanas, dude.

Chiaki shoots The Nurtmeister in the dick (SO MANY GENITAL MUTILATIONS V2! CALM DOWN!), and then she punches him in the face again for some reason. Chiaki fucks off and The Nurtmeister's collar explodes.

The Nurtmeister's last words
 
"Fuck... I need wee-"


THE END!





Conclusion: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!



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Edited by Kermit, Nov 15 2017, 06:50 PM.
"Kermit you are the guy in the horror movie that finds a book bound in human skin and decides to read out loud what is inside for fun" - some mean lady named Ruggahissy
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