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Why, hello there.
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Venus Gwendolyn is your average everyday Malibu Barbie.

With the very first line of the profile, you can tell exactly what kind of character this is going to be. Her profile and only pregame thread paint her as a stereotypical “popular girl”, that is, shallow and extremely focused on status. She also seems to be an extremely bad judge of character, immediately falling for the guy who tried to provoke her ex-boyfriend into beating her up. Seriously, here’s how the sequence of events goes:

  • Venus tells her boyfriend, Kurt, (who she knows has “anger management issues”) that she wants to break up with him.
  • Kurt grabs Venus roughly and begins to yell at her for being a slut.
  • Felix Travertil walks up and, in a bold-faced lie, tells Kurt that Venus was cheating on him and that Felix and Venus were now a couple.
  • Venus reacts fearfully, rightfully scared that her ex-boyfriend is going to react with violence, and begs Felix to stop joking around and tell the truth.
  • Felix escalates the situation and begins insulting Kurt.
  • Kurt freaks out and assaults both Felix and Venus before being dragged away by a security guard.
  • Venus slaps Felix, and as Felix walks away, she decides that she’s attracted to his bad boy attitude and begins planning to “get with him” later.

Now, on to the island.

Venus wakes up with a (surprisingly uncommon for V2) post where she freaks out about the fact that she’s in SOTF. Her main concern is how that the injuries will damage her looks. You got that right. She cares more about losing her beauty than actually dying. She then walks up to the Zed, who had woken up nearby, and then attempts to seduce him (of course >_<) in order to make an ally who will defend her on the island. Zed responds to this exactly as you would expect for V2, excited that he’s finally going to get lucky despite being surrounded by people who want to kill him. After a few posts, Zed finally realizes that this is a bad idea, but it’s already too late, as Venus pushes him down and rapes him while he weakly tries to escape.

The wiki describes what happened as "he eventually succumbed to her beauty and charm", but LaZ's narration makes it rather clear that despite the involuntary physical reactions resulting from his body being stimulated in that way, Zed really doesn't want this to be happening, and is expecting her to kill him at any moment. Seems like a pretty clear cut example of sexual assault to me.

I don’t know about you guys, but it seems to me that, considering the purpose of seduction is to get somebody to put their guard down, escalating it into rape would accomplish the exact opposite. It doesn’t really even make sense, as Venus’ narrative talks about how she finds this guy to be a disgusting nerd and hates the idea of having sex with him, yet she just rapes him anyway because, well, V2. The rape scene continues for a bit and then…


She bites his dick off.

The narrative lovingly describes Venus’ sadistic enjoyment of the torture visited upon Zed’ genitalia. For some reason, Venus views it as punishment for being a “nerd”. Clearly established as an exaggerated one-dimensional stereotype at this point, Venus then steals the poor guy’s weapon (an American flag) and runs off as a couple other “nerds” happen upon the scene. While running, she thanks God for giving her great dancing legs, which allows us to check off another point on the V2 stereotype bingo.

In her next thread, Venus wishes that she could meet up with Ali or Carmen, other members of the “sisterhood”. Instead, she meets up with a guy named Darren, who she immediately attempts to seduce (>_<). Unfortunately for her, this guy isn’t having any of it, and pulls out a katana and immediately attempts to kill her. She then begs for her life in the middle of a songpost. The song? Barbie Girl, by Aqua.

Yeah. If that’s not tonal dissonance, I don’t know what is.

Darren hesitates, overcome by guilt due to the fact that he just tried to murder someone. In another songpost with the same song as before, Venus immediately takes advantage of his hesitation to knock him down and steal his weapon. In yet another songpost (guess which song), she contemplates whether or not to kill him, before deciding that committing murder would compromise her “perfection”. Venus loots Darren’s bag for supplies, than leaves.

So… stabbing a dude with a sword means that you’re not “perfect”, but biting a guy’s dick off is A-OK? Seems a little...never mind, let’s keep going.

Venus then enters an abandoned school, where she reflects on the fact that, as a member of the Sisterhood, that she was in effect part of the school’s aristocracy, and most other students were essentially cockroaches to her. She begins to cry, homesick for a life where she could basically shit on everyone around her with no consequences, before things take an even stranger turn. She begins to hallucinate a strange woman, pale as a ghost and dressed in Victorian-era clothes, berating her for not being “perfect” enough. The “barbie”, as the narrative calls her, ignores the several other students in the school as the ghost woman gives her several lessons on being “perfect”. After Venus passes these tests, the ghost deems Venus to be “officially perfect” and gives her permission to kill as many people as she needs to, because she deserves to live more than they do. Because she’s “perfect”.

Yes, I get that she thinks that she’s better than everyone else, okay?

Venus then makes it to the Botanical Gardens, where she meets up with Matt and Rob, everybody’s favourite buddy comedy duo. She tries to, you guessed it, seduce them, but it doesn’t this work this time either, as Matt and Rob seem to be in possession of one of the most scarce resources on the V2 island, common sense. They rightfully anticipate that Venus is trying to get them to put their guards down so she can kill them, and they exit the scene post-haste.
Venus stands there confused at why anybody would turn down sex with a “perfect” girl like her, when Felix Travertil, from pregame, enters the thread. I think it’s obvious at this point what Venus’ next course of action is. This seduction attempt is almost immediately no sold, followed by Venus going to plan B and kicking Felix in the balls. They fight for a bit, flirting with each other for some reason. At the last moment, just as Felix is about to stab her, he kisses her instead. They make out for a bit before realizing that they are both madly in love with each other. The two lovers then resolve to stay together, and walk off hand in hand into the sunset…

...ending up in separate threads for no explained reason other than "Venus got lost".

She enters a thread with John Davies before immediately leaving, as she obviously doesn’t want to be in the same place as a man who is so far beneath her. She runs off to find Felix, somehow under the impression that both of them will be able to make it home. (We don’t get to see John’s reaction to this, sadly, as he immediately goes inactive.)

Her final thread leads her back to the Botanical Gardens, where she futily searches for Felix. She begins to despair as she realizes that Felix has abandoned her, as she finally realizes that the two of them won’t be able to both win the game. Her thoughts are interrupted by the reappearance of the Ghost Lady in one of the most horrificly structured paragraphs that I have read over the course of this read-a-thon. I’ve had to spoiler it here, due to the length, but take a look at it. Seriously. Did the writer proofread this at all?

Spoiler: click to toggle

Venus then kills the ghost, before turning her katana on herself. She cuts upon her stomach, bleeding out dramatically over the flowers as she thinks of Felix. The girl who thought that she was the most perfect person on the island, the one most deserving of life, kills herself over a guy who has done nothing but harm her since before the game started. Doesn’t really make sense, but that’s V2 for you.

Content-wise, I would say that while she’s not as bad as Sam Sorenson, she’s definitely on the same continuum of horribleness. In some ways, she’s even worse, because at least Chad was technically competent as a writer, with the main shock value being in the subject matter of his writing. Venus is a nonsensical, one-dimensional character who commits horrific acts with very little motivation behind them, just like many others in V2. Unfortunately, when compared to even those, the writing quality is abysmal, sinking in quality as the story goes on. By her final post, Strawberry Prince’s prose is basically unreadable. Would not recommend.

...I don’t really know why I’m still doing this, but I’ll take another character anyway.
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