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MK Kilmarnock
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Hate, hate, HATE!!!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Allllright, so, Adam Amato. Written by Adam Dodd. Iktor asked in a tired haze just how many Adams this kid wrote, and I'm assuming it's just the two. Anyway, let's do the checklist:

South Park picture: check.
From Canada (specifically the greater Toronto area): check.
Loves hockey: check.

Also this kid is 17 and has a full, if thin, goatee. I really want his genes because it would've made growing a beard much easier. Most of the profile is fine - Dodd usually did a good job of writing profiles that, for the version, were very well-fitting and nonabrasive. Everything seems to be in working or-

"Disadvantages: Two of his best friends participated in SOTF v1. One was killed in a horrific lightning accident and one ended up winning. Because of that, Adam's mind likely won't react very well to being placed in a similar situation. People who harbour even a slight dislike for him might come in with guns ablazing."

Can we talk about this for a second?

So Adam Amato was besties with Adam Dodd and some schmuck who died in an 'unfortunate lightning accident' in V1. A little research reveals this to be Andrew Lipson. This is somehow a disadvantage, as well as the terrible, crippling disadvantage of 'people may try to kill him'. Wow, Adam (Amato), you certainly really have it rough, other kids have a one-up on you for sure.

Enough of the profile, time to actually read this guy. There are only two threads so this won't take terribly long.

Today I learned, courtesy of an Ali Grayston post, that AT 'Big Four' member Steve Wilson spent a year as principal of one of the V2 schools. Ooookay (Also rest in peace, Wilson). Anyway, Adam plays next to no role in his first thread, which is a veritable who's who of V2 writers: Megami, Mitsuko, Laz, Dodd, Riser... and some guy named Doink, who gives us the most entertaining post with Kasumi White talking to God/Olmec/Dee Bradley Baker, then waking up to see that she's laying in the graveyard of a church beneath an angel statue.

Adam listens at the door, Ali bitches at Kasumi screaming her head off, R. Kelly throws the first racial slur in the history of the internet, Mariavel pops in to be Mariavel. Adam hears threats of violence in a church (gasp!) and pops up with his gun at the ready, threatening everybody not to blaspheme on God's holy ground or he'll bust a cap in your ass like a good Catholic person.

This goes over like a fart in church (heh) as Edgar rightfully points out how hypocritical Adam's being right now. Mariavel does the same thing right after but with a speech that must take like... 20 seconds in real-time, during which presumably everybody just stays put with their thumbs up their asses. It's cool though, because he sheepishly says 'sorry' and Mariavel actually drops all aggression. Just like that. Also R. Kelly's hiding in the confessional. Get it? He's trapped in the closet.


R. Kelly comes out of the closet confessional and scares Adam, who assess his weapon, for the SECOND TIME, as a 'formidable weapon' and a 'sniper's pistol'. Twice in one thread, this happens. He then name drops Dodd (making it the second time he's mentioned) and capitalizes every other WORD to show us that he means business and randomly shouts like a tweak.

Mariavel does a songpost. I don't even fucking read it. Back to Adam. Back to talking about Dodd and how he was 'the winner of this damn thing and you would have liked him, he killed twelve people'. Somewhere in this narrative is talk of an escape plan with no real idea of how to do it, and he turns down Mariavel's offer to team up since the announcements oust her as a killer. Oh, and Kasumi White is inactive killed at the end of this thread. Boo.

Adam goes to the mountain ranch where he rapidly switches between panicked and sullen when he meets Sera Wingfield. Also this guy named Brandon Cuthbert shows up but he is VERY difficult to read because... well, he's an except from his first post in Silence and Solitude.

This is only two sentences.

Brandon and Adam get aggressive with one another... and then both go inactive, so Megami just takes over and hastily writes the two to their deaths. Brandon kills Adam, Sera kills Brandon. The end. Adam Amato exists for little more than some pointless aggression and as a vehicle to spread the glorious word of Adam Dodd, winner of V1.


Sigh... I'll take another.
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