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Kermit
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eEeEEEeEEEeeEeeeee
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Annabelle’s hobbies are sports, homemaking, and Jesus. fine. I’m gonna call her Banannabelle.



hmmmmmm okay


You know what?


I’m just gonna paste some highlights from her physical appearance below this.
- “Annabelle Bucchanon is another of those unbelievably good looking ninth graders that possesses the body of a young demi-goddess and the personality of a slight martyr.”

-”She has a tall, lanky frame of five feet, ten inches and just one hundred and thirty pounds that is constructed of wonderful muscle attained by constant physical activity and a hefty amount of shopping.”

-”Vertical superior, but mammory inferior is she,” (Kermitnote: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?)

-”Well rounded with just about everything else, why can't she be gifted with nice breasts too? This is a question she frequently asks herself.” (Kermitnote: I also frequently ask myself this.)

-”Flaming red curls fall and end at her shoulders, the front strands streaked with bright, bubblegum pink. It's so... well, bubbly.”

-”Large and rounded are her eyes with their bright blue irises, their shiny color brought ought more-so by a pale complexion so natural to redheads.”

-”Below the nez, a word Annabelle remembers vaguely from her French class the past year, thin, pale lips rest, although one wouldn't know it due to the mass amount of cotton-candy pink lip gloss applied to them.”

-”In regard to daily fashion, Annabelle is all about the occasion.”

Okay. So...like... If you make literally every sentence all weird and rhythmy, your profile becomes INSTANTLY FUCKING HILARIOUS. Please, just use like, normal words and sentence structure. I know I’ve been okay with tonal issues in past v2 profiles but none of them were just this tonally wacky. This could’ve been a good appearance section if it were just less flowery.

Her bio is written in the same style as her physical appearance, and it’s making my bones hurt. MY BONES! For the most part, she’s a Mary-Sue, and compared to some character from something that I don’t watch. Also, there are rumours that she’s a lesbian, which makes her go “:’(“ because the only thing she’d be lesbian for is Jesus (Jesus is a girl in this scenario OK). Oh, actually, maybe she is a lesbian? I’m not suuuuuuuuuure because I skipped most of the profile because it hurts so much to read. SO MUCH PAIN




So, uh, I’m getting the impression that Banannabelle’s gonna go crazy and become a wacky catholic lesbian sex-freak, because honestly, what else could happen?



Pregame: fuck you nerds, i’m not reading it! :)))))))))))))))))))






Island: :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Oh there’s less flowery prose now, so that’s good.




So, she wakes up and decides not to play. yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! She’s in the residential area, so she heads to a house. She has a shower, and, uhm...“ She smelled of strawberries now; the shampoo she had used the source.”

right so hold on a minute. Shampoooooooooooo? why is there soap and shampoo here? whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? How is the island’s water-system-whatever/electricity good enough for a fucking shower? fd f df 3 snnoi90 38h help




Oh, now she’s okay with killing. Either that or she’s gonna use her gun to remove her pimples. I’m honestly not sure which.



Gigi Sinclaire shows up, and she’s literally just a stereotypical hip teenager from the 60s. I don’t like her. According to her there’s “Psycho” (the p is always capitalized) music playing, and that’s bad because she can’t dance to it. Fuck me. I’m honestly so done right now.

This is taken directly from the thread: "She suddenly walked through her home, heading towards the door. It was still extremely quiet, just the way the girl liked it. Not bothering to take anything for protection, the girl simply went to her door and opened the door. "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! Are you looking to move in???" Annabelle rather shrieked at the auburn haired female on the other side of the street, but then prepared to run in case the girl freaked out with her unseen item that was probably not the cookies the girl hoped that it was. "



honestly what the fuck? hwat?



Gigi says she knows Banannabelle from school even though they went to different fucking schools jesus christ GIGI, and Megami is quick to point that out. Thank you Megami. Banannabelle thinks that the house she’s in is her actual house or something i guess? I don’t fucking know. She talks to Gigi about “how she just redecorated” and literally fuck you annabelle honestly i cant handle this.

Someone being crazy can be really good SOTF stuff, but when it comes out of fucking nowhere and isn’t explained (and is also dumb), it’s reeaaaaaalllly bad. I don’t know anymore. please help. help me. help me please.

OH LAURA DIESEN’S HERE. She’s pretty good, so hopefully she’ll provide enough of a barrier to save me from Banannabelle and Gigi. Some shit that I don’t care about happens and then something that I care about FUCKING IMMENSELY happens.




Banannabelle goes upstairs…



and…




well, her handler describes it as “Mild sexual content”, but I’d like to DISAGREE VERY MUCH





maaaaasstuurbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaattttiooooooooooooooonnnnnnnn sceeeeeeene! Fuck this. fuck this so bad.

Like, she’s a 14-year-old girl! I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW TERRIBLE AND WRONG THIS IS! FUCKING HELL V2! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? WHY ME? WHY DID I HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO READ THIS? KILL ME




Some bullshit that I don’t fucking care about anymore happens and Laura Diesen commits suicide. I’m so jealous of Laura right now. I have to keep reading, and she gets to be dead. I’d rather be dead than read this.

Gigi dances because she’s a 60s teeny-bopper fuck you and Banannabelle has a mental breakdown because she’s a lesbian catholic sex-freak (wow i was right!). now she’s vomiting. i’m also vomiting.

I’m just gonna stop Annabelle right here. I assume she improves, but my psyche cant take her any more.






Conclusion: KIiIiiIiIIiiIiIIIlLLLLlL MeeEeEEEeee pLeEaAAAaaaasE EnD My SuFfeRiNg




i don’t know why I’m asking for another one but I am.



"Kermit you are the guy in the horror movie that finds a book bound in human skin and decides to read out loud what is inside for fun" - some mean lady named Ruggahissy

i make art i think????


Sadly kermit looked at a mariavel. It was so sad... such a sad mariavel... like him... he only waned a normal life... was that too much to ask? was it?
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