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Alright! Jana Brown! Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Profile: All of Jana’s hobbies are normal. There’s like nothing that would actually give her an on-island advantage, which is gucci. I honestly don’t have much to say about her profile, other than that it’s pretty darn good, barring some tonal stuff and detailing blah blah blah.

Pregame: None!

Island: Some!

So, Jana wakes up in the barn, and her whole reaction to being put on murder island is pretty goddamned realistic. Like, she’s like “Why me?????????????????????? : (“ when a lot of V2ers were like “oh boy murder time is fun time!”, and it’s really a breath of fresh air (along with Justin who I also read. Dan and Bryan (the handler), u da real mvps.). She stumbles across Greg Moyer’s corpse (Greg Moyer sidenote: He is great, and his death made me feel feelings.), and she’s like “oh for fuck’s sake, just kill me.” and she’s all sad and stuff. THIS IS GOOOOD! Like, other V2ers would’ve like, licked Gregory, I dunno; but Jana has a pretty reasonable reaction to a corpse with it’s head impaled on a hook. Sera Wingfield pops, in fresh from shooting a twelve-year-old and is all like “That can be arranged.” Oh Sera. Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Sera, you something. Like, Sera’s already been read, but I am immediately bothered. In one post she goes from “Oh jeez, I don’t really like shooting people” to “Wow, threatening to shoot Jana is entertaining!” (also it says “Sera wasn't really looking forward to pulling the trigger again. Still, she had to admit to herself... it was sort of exciting, in a weird way.” V2, what is with all your people who get, ahem, “excited” by murder? grumblegrumblegrumble)

Anyways, back to Jana. She’s like “wait no don’t shoot me.” and Sera’s like “I figured. You should be careful what you wish for…” and jesus I’ve only read two posts from each kid so far but I like Jana so much more than Sera. Jana acts like a real person, and Sera’s just being like unrealistically ominous and creepy GRUMBLEGRUMBLEGRUMBLE. The two spend the rest of the thread talking. Sera acts like an emotionless psychopath sexy manipulative V2 character (there are so many of them whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy), and Jana acts like a normal person. I like Jana much more than Sera. As an example, Sera’s killed a Brandon, and so as an explanation (read: lie), she says that Brandon and Adam (Amato, who also died) tried to rape her, and then she says Adam was hot. Jana responds by thinking “what the fuck he tried to rape you why would you say that?”. Jana is good. Jana is very good. (Sera sidenote: I don’t really get why she had to make up the rape story, when she literally killed Brandon in self-defense. Like, Brandon literally shot her why does she need to lie about this?)

Sera sidenote: “"I'm really sorry," she stated flatly, "But I gave up back when I got shot in the leg while two guys argued over which one wanted to fuck me first."” Sera, this literally happens to you in a few threads and you’re perfectly fine with it, u inconsistent person.

The duo move on to the park, where they run into Kevin Kaputsiak. SOTF needs more people named Kevin. Kaputsiak’s first post has him thinking about sex, so that’s not a good sign. Kevin thinks that Sera has some real issues. I’m with you, Kevin. (He’s actually turning out to be decent so far but the MATTY BOY writeup doesn’t bode well for him.) OH KEVIN CALLS SERA OUT FOR BEING A V2 MANIPULATIVE GIRL CHARACTER YOU ARE THE BEST KEVIN! (my dog’s name is kevin too i like him). Zilya’s here now, and she’s tired. Me too, Zilya, me too. She sees the group and runs towards them, but “finds herself in the middle of a park”. According to Mitsuko, this is ironic. *purses lips* mkay then. Sera and Kevin do stuff and there is no such thing as a posting order and then JOHN MUTHAFUCKIN DAVIES is here, and he’s sure something. Jana is wary of there being so many people in this thread, because one of them might be a killer. Jana is smart. John does some John stuff and oh god i’m only done the first page of this thread (frog screeching).

Zilya wanders off. Bye Zilya! Kevin’s like “who the fuck are you?” at John and Jana’s like “?????????????” at John and John acts like a bad anime character. I actually love John so much you dont understand.


“Jana thought that maybe John was suffering some kind of intense mental condition in light of the program.”

:))))))))))))))))))) jana u r good!

John does stuff and Kevin does stuff and Sera does stuff. From John and Kevin’s posts it seems like John/Kevin are pretty close, but in Sera’s post it says that John’s out of hearing distance while she’s standing right next to Kevin so I don’t know what the fuck is happening. I think John leaves now, but there’s no exit tag so I’ve got not clue. Sera and Kevin talk a lot and Jana’s kinda left in the dust because THERE IS NO POST ORDER (frog screeches). Rob and Matt show up and confusing stuff happens and Kevin dies and now Sera and Jana are hangin’ with Matt now I guess. fuck, i dunno. Next thread (help)!

Jana’s being creeped out by our dear-old sex maniac Matt. (also they’re at the school but it blew Zilya up and now there is no school). Matt says creepy stuff, and THEN he says “lets go inside, what’s the worst that could happen?” I’ll tell you what, Matt: You getting murderfucked/fuckmurdered. Kayla Ravoy shows up and is like “hello i’m unarmed don’t kill me” and Matt’s all like “TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN’T JUST SHOOT YOU RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKING BITCH!?”. Jana, being the only sane and normal person in the group, is confused by Matt’s actions. Me too, Jana, me too. Jana’s like “what the fuck, Matt?” and Sera’s like “YES SHOOT HER MATT DO IT NOW!”, and Jana is the only person in this group who I don’t hate. Kayla’s pretty good (she’s getting inactive killed right now so she’s not as good as OG Kayla). Jana is my shining light in the sea of whatthefuck that is V2.

Sera proceeds to claim that Kayla is Mariavel Varella.

This is how I feel right now.

Jana’s like “maybe she’s not Mariavel tho dont shoot her 4 heck sake” and then Matt shoots Kayla.

For fuck’s sake Matt…


Matt starts being weirdly aggressive to Jana and then Jana’s like “get the fuck away from me you fucking shitstain why did you shoot her what the fuck Matt”. Jana is the audience surrogate right now, and I cannot overstate how much more I like Jana than the rest of her group. Matt and Sera are dumb and Jana leaves. Good job, Jana. After Jana leaves, Sera and Matt fuck, because they are dumb. Jana is not dumb.

Jana’s next thread is a oneshot where she reminisces about Matt/Sera being doofuses, thinks about her family, and finds out she’s in the final ten. Also the ground says “MOM”. It’s a solid thread, I guess.

Jana’s last thread now!

Oh, Mariavel’s here.


well fine.

Jana walks in during the middle of Rob Adams and Mariavel VarellaalleraV levairaM having a big ol’ gunfight. She hides in some bushes, and then for some reason decides to stand up and run away. I can already tell this won’t end well for Jana.


I was right.

nmie nrv fdjkzth45u d y545 uygvdoiwjkakl cj,M;POi9e90IIOFNDJKNDujidahd 8r

So she ends up running right past Rob, and Rob’s like “YIKES!” and he shoots her. Her last thoughts are about her family, which is nice, I guess. There’s a proto-meanwhile thing, where her brother is sad and stuff. Her death was pretty anticlimactic, but I can’t say I disliked it.

Conclusion: Jana is a good character who spends most of her time surrounded by bad characters. She manages to stay consistent throughout, which directly contrasts like almost all of the rest of V2. Jana herself was enjoyable, but the characters she spent her time with brought her down from fulfilling her true potential.

A N O T H E R 1 !
"Kermit you are the guy in the horror movie that finds a book bound in human skin and decides to read out loud what is inside for fun" - some mean lady named Ruggahissy

i make art i think????

Sadly kermit looked at a mariavel. It was so sad... such a sad mariavel... like him... he only waned a normal life... was that too much to ask? was it?
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