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Cicada Days
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Checked through old Google Docs and I found the Ben document I'd written up that probably would have allowed me to have executed his arc more competently had I remembered it existed. Had some future hypotheticals plans for his island path on there too.

Increase Minimalism - Ben's tone was planned to become more and more sparse and minimalist as he continued to lose hope and self-agency. I actually think this was my general intention no matter what path he ended up taking on island. This would probably have fit the role he ended up playing alongside Raina, Penelope, Kizi, and Lili better than what I actually elected to do.

Nate, Matt, Henry... Astrid?? - I think this document was made around the time of the months Day 2 OOCly occurred in, so a lot of my musing seems to have centered around potential paths the group would have built up and broken down along. Henry stealing was the plan ultimately executed but there were other factors I never brought into the equation. But I think no matter what my long term goal was for Ben to end up apart from Matt and Nate, I just think the routes leading there were unclear for a while. Something I wanted was Ben mindlessly running off from the group to chase after Henry, and I think I proposed a scene where Ben roughed up Henry a bit as morally dubious retribution but Espi didn't like it or something like that.

I dunno if I ever properly opened negotiations with Pippin but I think I considered the idea of Astrid joining that group, which I might have proposed along the lines of her bluffing her way into temporary safety until she had the right circumstances to score her kill. I was intrigued by the idea of the dynamics that would form between the members of the group, one treacherous, one point five frothing player killers in the making, the sort of conversations/arguments that could arise... I made some provisions that the group could have lasted long, Ben either scoring a player hunter kill that kicked off other aspects of his arc, or having naturally grown restless to start fighting back to the point where he'd abandon the group. Of course in the end the group barely lasted a day and the scene with Alvaro was the consequence of a bunch of people including myself rejecting my various ideas, I believe.

One PK - My main idea all along was that Ben would get one player kill but then his will to fight would evaporate as he couldn't handle the moral and emotional difficulty of coming to terms with murder. In short the path he did take in the post Penelope half of what actually happened, but with the added guilt and weight of having properly murdered and such. Meeting Penelope was a bit of a spontaneous decision on my hand, he could easily have stayed on this 'get one kill' route I had planned if Turtle hadn't posted Haunted Reality when she had. I think I was hoping to make Alex or Alvaro the kill, but in hindsight neither Grim Wolf or Yugi would likely have approved, so I suppose I should be glad I was diverted when I was.

Very unlikely that he'd have ever gone a full PK route.

An Amputation Scene - Came up with this one when Ben was shot in the arm by Alvacuum. The wound goes gangrenous despite Ben's attempts to keep it clean and take care of it. I was interested in this because it's not the sort of scene I'm aware of kicking in during a version of SOTF (it probably has happened I'm just aware of it), it was gritty and brutal and visceral and something I was just very down for doing for a while. Ben would need to 127 Hours his own arm in a desperate attempt to contain the rapidly spreading infection. Chances that it would have worked were very low, this was essentially a guaranteed transition into a slow, painful, full of regrets death with all kinds of potential, especially if I could have roped people into helping him with the scene.

I just forgot about it over time. Even if I had recalled I probably would not have proposed it to backslash and Turtle, they were too busy with other stuff more pertinent to their characters and this was more a scene on my own behalf. Bit too dramatic for Ben's arc as it devolved.

Pulling a Jerry Fury (not what it sounds like) - At some point I made a note to myself that Ben had to fail to find words to comfort someone, or rant at someone, get a few words in and then fall into a silence. Internally he would have called this his Jerry Fury moment, in deference to Jerry's opening moments on island. I regret totally forgetting about this little idea.

V6 - Like you imagined when you... were young...
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