"We tried to be better, but we aren't. I don't think anyone could last more than a week here if they weren't willing to do bad things." - Alba Reyes

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Viewing Single Post From: Rivers of Sadness and Mutual Need
dmboogie
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A Delicate Machine
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Time to shine the spotlight on Cass, then?

It felt wrong to focus on themself when Asuka clearly carried so much hurt inside of her, even from before the world had ended, but that seemed to be what she wanted, and that's what really mattered, wasn't it? Not like Cass knew the right words to say to try and make anything better for anyone.

"...Uh. First, I guess, lemme just say that you don't need to apologize to me for anything, alright? I like listening to people," like was the wrong word, they loved to hear friends share their hopes for the future and things that make them smile or even just vague rambling about life, they didn't like to watch people fall apart in front of them but it was too late to take the implication back now- "so if it helped or made you feel better at or or even if it didn't... it's cool, y'know?"

Even their misgivings and Asuka's explicit wishes hadn't been enough to stop Cass from trying to help. Stupid. What were they trying to do, stall for time to try and think of something, anything worth saying out loud? They stared at the wall for a few seconds, fingers drumming on their notebook.

"Myself, well... fuck, man; I don't know. Knew I wasn't gonna get out of here alive right from the start; and I can't say I really wanted... really want to, anyway. I don't deserve to live any more than the rest of us, et cetera, et cetera. And for a while I just didn't think too much about that; and I spend the first few days just kinda passively hanging around someone who was too good to die here. But he did, and I'm still here, so it's like, the hell does that leave me?"

"And after a while I just like, thought back on my life and realized that art's really all I've ever been good for, all that's really kept me going through the years. It's all I am, in a lot of ways. So I went out, found a pencil, found this notebook. Ran into fucking Isabel in the process, but sill worth it. And now I'm here, in this house, and I'm going to draw as much as I can and I'm not gonna leave until someone decides to finally shoot me in the head. Hopefully they'll give me enough time to put my art away so I don't bleed all over it."

Now it was Cass's turn to laugh awkwardly.
a tribute for the dead and dying

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Rivers of Sadness and Mutual Need · The Hunting Cabin