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Fight through what? The way her eyes blur for a second every time she blinks? The way her stomach screams every time she breathes? The way her eyes pulse every time she tries to look at Enzo? At Coleen?

"No. I'm- I'm sorry, Enzo. I c- I can't- you can't do anything." Deep breaths again. Every word felt like a mile. "Just, uh just- just look." And then she looked down at herself, at all the red blooming from her stomach. "I don't want to- I don't..." don't want to hurt you, she thought she said as she stared into the distance past Enzo, past Coleen, past the ceiling, as her eyes blurred once more. And the ceiling turned into this gray ocean, grayer than the one she woke up to all those days ago in that cave, and if she ignored the smoothness of the floor and the windows and the anatomy posters and the people who couldn't heal her in this doctor's office, if she ignored all that, she could pretend she was back at the cove, just laying there, laying as the tide washed over her and rocked her to and fro to and fro like a paper boat a paper boat pierced with holes. bullet holes. and she was being rocked in the cove, and she never hurt anyone, never met Irene and Hannah so she never scared them off, never abandoned Bernadette, never dragged Georgia Lee out for a book, never slept on her, and now never hurt Coleen and Enzo just by being here, she'd avoided all of that just by staying in one place and was that so hard? Was that so hard to do? No it wasn't and wasn't that a wise decision you made just by staying in your cave

in your concrete cave

and then her eyes focused again and Enzo was still there, staring at her. Expecting that something could change. And wasn't that cute?

"Th-thank you, thank you, Enzo. But, please-" and she grabbed onto Enzo one last time, held onto her one last time- "leave."
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G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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"Mara was a mistake." - Cicada, 2017
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Ye Not · Doctors’ Offices