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escaping the real world to face reality
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"...I wish. All I've really done is sit around and tell myself how important it was to stop sitting around and get up and do something worthwhile or meaningful or at least memorable before I go poof."


Asuka averted her gaze-- let it wander onto the light fixture on the wall, steered it through the cracks between the floorboards, stopped it when her eyes landed on Cass's shoes. There was something--multiple things--nagging Asuka about this conversation, about things Cass had said, things Asuka had said--but she was blanking on all of them except the current one.

"Actually, forget memorable. I was being unnecessarily pathetic--I mean, unnecessarily portraying myself as pathetic. Not that I'm not pathetic, but, like, I'm not pathetic in that way. It's just that, like...all I've really done is give my gun to some asshole to try to get him to shoot me with my gun, try to prove...something, to him, and he just takes it and runs off and now he's killed with it. And I tried to work myself up to feel angry about it, to do something it, but I couldn't. And yesterday I watched Scout kill Alvaro, and I didn't know either of them very well, and, like, I thought I was really shaken by seeing it at the time, right? I was, like, shit, this is gonna fuck me up. But it didn't. I feel the same now as I did before, pretty much."

Fuck. She's not gonna like this.

"It's like you put me on fucking DeathMurder Island, SOTF or whatever, and you still can't make me feel alive because my life still isn't a story worth telling because it's dull and pointless and meaningless and fucking boring. You can't even make me die. No matter how much I try, or, more like, no matter how much I try to make myself try. I'm just kinda...there. Like, I know you feel useless too, but...but..."

dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Rivers of Sadness and Mutual Need · The Hunting Cabin