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Being a degenerate is okay these days
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She didn't know. She turned away without any reason, without any plan, and Jae bit back the sudden urge to scream at her.

Lily wasn't Isabel. She didn't kill for shits and giggles, just to revel in someone else's pain. She had her one. She could probably say she had done her best to put Lizzie out of her misery, considering Isabel had also been involved. She hadn't beaten someone to a pulp for being scared and attacking out of fear, because she was unable to cope with her own emotions.

Lily's fear was quiet. It was what had let her tag along with Isabel for so long without getting killed, most likely, and it was what had allowed her to slip away unharmed when Isabel's sins finally rose up and tore her to pieces. She could slip away again and probably stay that way for the rest of the game, biding her time and waiting until everyone else had forgotten about her. She wouldn't hurt anyone else, not actively.

And Jae hated her for it.

He'd had a lot of time to think over the past couple of days. Sometimes, there’s nothing else to do besides sit yourself down for a long, brutally honest talk.

So, here’s the deal, self: you’ve fucked up big time.

Hazel? Abandoned her. Henry? Weren’t there for him. Asha? Tried to save her, just a few seconds too late to do any good. Nadia? Pulled the trigger yourself.

You know why? Because you’re a fucking coward who hurts people, that’s why. Intentional or not, because you were angry, or scared, or hurting too, whatever. It’s all over as soon as it’s acted upon, and reasons don’t matter unless you’re analyzing a character in a movie. Actions speak louder than words, blah, blah, blah.

Here’s what your actions have been saying so far: you’re a coward and a murderer. You’re trying to control the world like a man when you’re hardly more than a lost little boy, too hurt to say for sure that you really want to live anymore and too full of fear and spite to die. You’ve got a half-wrecked body, a bunch of dead friends, a classmate’s blood on your hands, and at least three killers who got to walk away when they shouldn’t have.

Because even though you told yourself you’d go through with it, who was going to hold you to it besides yourself? You wanted your moral compass to drag you back into line, whether you admitted it or not, because you’ve learned what you’re capable of, and you scare yourself more than you’ve ever intimidated anyone else. Now, in case you haven’t noticed, most of your moral compasses died horribly while you were still trying to sort your shit out. Two people who didn’t deserve it gone from this world, and you’re still here.

Here’s the deal, self: you are in a world that, for all intents and purposes, hates you. Everyone left alive on this island benefits directly from your death. The guys running the cameras decided they hate somebody or something enough that they don’t care whether hundreds of innocents die. Even if you go home, people will find reasons to hate you. Because you were part of this, or because you’re mixed-race, or because you’re gay, since we’re acknowledging that’s a thing now.

So hate them back. Hate them enough to live, or at least to die on your own terms whenever you figure out what those are. Hate them enough to be more than just a footnote in some decade-spanning tragedy. And don’t give them the fucking satisfaction of hating yourself ever again.

Jae wanted to shout it all at Lily, two cowards in a hallway, alive when they didn't deserve to be, holding weapons that they had no business wielding and stained with blood that wasn't their own. He wanted to tell her that everything she had done so far was exactly what they wanted her to do, wanted to ask her what the hell she would be going back to with half her family gone and the rest aware that she had helped put down one of their own and aided the woman who got her jollies from killing and terrorizing others for no reason other than that she could. But Lily had made it clear that she couldn't, or wouldn't, understand and accept it. She had made her choice.

This wasn't a fight. Lily had just messed up and gotten people hurt, like Jae. She wasn't a killer like Isabel or a swaggering hypocrite like Michael or even a fuck-up like Brendan.

And when he raised the crossbow at her back and fired, he didn't miss.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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Rear-End Collision · The Staff Dormitories A Block