"We tried to be better, but we aren't. I don't think anyone could last more than a week here if they weren't willing to do bad things." - Alba Reyes

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Viewing Single Post From: If That's Who I Am, Then I'll Fight Who I Am
Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
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Random bits of advice crossed Asuka's mind, useless for anything but making her feel helpful.

When someone is in shock, have them lie down in the shade and raise their feet about a twelve inches off the ground.

Like she would've done anything even if she did have something legitimate to offer. Philosophy, maybe. Talk about how meaningful and beautiful the ugliness is, and it becomes meaningful and beautiful. Because of course it would console Audrey after she'd lost her crush--no, don't dramatize a relationship that Audrey's downplaying, don't aid and abet their narrative. And don't talk about stuff that you want to talk about under the pretext of helping someone with their trauma.

"It's fine. Take it easy."

What else could she say, though? An awkward 'oh', a painfully loud pause, and then another, and then nothing, because at the end of the day Asuka doesn't know a thing about playing armchair psychiatrist for someone who'd just lost a friendly acquaintance.

What comes out are platitudes. Harmless, but she still feels dirty saying them.

"I mean, you couldn't have done anything, right? Like, you tried, at least. But..."

There's nothing you could've done to help him. That's what would've finished out that cliche storm. Except she didn't know how Audrey was gonna take a comment like that about a guy she maybe-sorta liked, and she didn't believe it anyways, didn't believe it because...philosophy. Mental gymnastics.

Fuck her. Figures that the only thing she's good for has nothing to do with the real world. She was a stranger in a strange land here, or her body was, intruding, a spy sent by her ego to infiltrate a place filled with other spies sent by other egos. Shame they all bothered with the whole spy thing, seeing as it ruined the whole point of infiltration. Can't corrupt this place with her ego, with all the egos, when they were all being so weird about it.

Here's an idea: let's get us all the fuck out of here. Then it wouldn't just be for Asuka's sake, and her selfishness wouldn't be quite so bad.

"I guess you can't exactly blame him, either, for what's happening. Or anyone else, really. I don't like to think of this place as, like, telling us the truth about ourselves and how much we suck. If anything, this place is a master class on how good people can fuck each other up. Not to imply that you fucked him up or anything. But, uh..."

C'mon, relate back to your point. At least let yourself pretend that you're doing this to help someone. Or if you can't pretend to yourself, at least actually help someone.

"...long story short, we're probably all okay even though we're all gonna die?"

dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
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If That's Who I Am, Then I'll Fight Who I Am · Group Therapy