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Cicada Days
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i can feel something inside me say
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⠀⠀⠀Latanna Beckstead to Hannah Celeste Goodliffe⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Tues, Jun 2, 2015, at 1:13 AM



Dearest Hannah,

You have doubtless heard the news, and unfortunately there is no further way to spare your beautiful young heart. I have ached every minute of this day, thinking of how your innocence has been destroyed, wishing, wishing to all His grace and glory that it could not be, that it would not be inflicted upon you. But, indeed, it is undeniable. I will not do you disservice or injustice and try to turn to delusion. It is Survival of the Fittest, and it is my classmates, those dear faces I have acquainted myself with over many days of my own once innocent life. I wish I could say otherwise, Hannah, I do with all of my heart. I do not want this, not for the weight it places upon my shoulders, but because it shall burden your own with a weight none of God's children should have to suffer.

But, we must recall... God has a plan, for all of us, does he not? Perhaps it is in times like this that the truth of this statement becomes most apparent. When the darkest of times is upon us we shall all shine brightest.

I know this platitude may not immediately comfort you, Hannah. I have felt every second of today tick by and I have felt the agony you doubtless must feel. It is human, it is right by our compassionate and merciful hearts that we feel suffering on behalf of others who suffer, and you have always had one of the greatest hearts I have ever seen. Hannah, I have sobbed for you today, and I say this not to impress my pain onto you but to impress the magnitude of your pain onto yourself. Do not feed despair unto your despair, do not feel guilt. Even a million however many miles away in Provo my classmates are your classmates to. To feel this, to understand this, that is true piety and fellowship for your fellow man and woman cast in God's image.

Tragedy unimaginable has struck, yes. And we shall both hurt, and grieve for those who suffer in ways neither of us can even imagine in good conscience. If you are haunted by fears, visions of the unimaginable... Please, you have proposed the solution yourself. You claimed you weren't helping, but you definitely were. Professionals are trained to understand the weakness of our mortality, and to assuage it and allow us to stay a righteous path on this Earth. I... yes, I will definitely pay a visit to a therapist, for my own sake, for the sake of my family and community that the burden upon my spirit does not become further burden to those currently enduring the unendurable as their children...

Yes. We know how that sentence ends, so so morbidly.

We must both stay vigilant, Hannah. We may be weak, we may be human, but we must not fall to vice or sin. Those who survive this cruelty, they will be the better for a strong, healthy community welcoming them with open arms when they return. Let us both walk the harrowing path that stretches out before us with this in mind, Hannah. Let us stay strong, and let us stay godly.

it shall be hard. So, so hard. But you and I, Hannah, we have both always been strong, from those days when I first looked into your clear baby eyes and proclaimed that I'd be the best elder I could be for you. You were always hale, healthy, curious and accepting of the world around you. Never let that spirit falter, Hannah.

And please... please respond. As soon as you can. Take the time you need. I will wait, Hannah.

We shall get through this, us and our family. We will be better than the evil that walks this Earth. I promise you, and you know how strongly I take my promises.

I'll see you soon. Very very soon. That too, I promise.
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