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Is in some state of existence
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((Skipping to leave thread))

Of course she shouldn't have. Of course it wasn't right.

She didn't know what else she had expected Emma to say.

But some part of her wanted to have done it. Some part of her so sure that she would have been happier if she had done it. Some part of her still wanted to do it.

"Yeah, we do need a plan." She’d said that since day one, but the closest thing to a plan she’d come up with had led them here.

“But what can we do? I don’t think any of us here can outtalk a bullet.”

Hold on.

There were only three people in the room. Her. Emma. Jaime.

Someone was missing. Someone other than Kaitlyn.

“Wait. Where's Lucilly?"

She'd said she'd gone outside for a bit, but how long ago had that been?

Her bag wasn't here. She must have taken it with her, but that meant-

Lucilly had left.

The heck.

Lucilly was gone.

She couldn't breathe, nervous laughter fighting all sensibility for the situation.

Of course she'd left. Of course she did.

It'd been four days now and all they'd managed to do was scrape by.

What had they managed to do? They'd spent two days stuck in a shitty room, and their search for water had ended up with them giving a killer a weapon.

She was terrible at this. She wasn't the one who came up with plans. She wasn't the one who decided things. But no one seemed to want to do it and so she had tried.

Look how great that turned out.

It didn't even feel like she'd tried all that hard, after all.

It was a miracle that they'd managed to keep together as long as they did.

And now it everything was starting to fall apart.

She had panicked when Lucilly tried to leave that first time on the first day. She didn't know why then but now she knew. She hadn't been worried about Lucilly. She had been worried about her little attempt at leading the group falling apart.

But she'd left anyway, proving exactly how bad she was at this.

Why couldn't Emma have taken charge? She was clearly more suited for the role, Emma could handle things. That's why she was in the student council after all. Amanda wasn't meant to be doing this. She wasn't meant to be in charge of a group like this. She always tried to do too much and she knew, she knew that once again she had gone in over her head.

There was too much be angry at. Kaitlyn, the terrorists, Lucilly, the island, Emma, everything.

But most of all she was angry at herself.

"Sorry. I really can't- No, I can’t do this anymore."

They deserved an explanation but she couldn't pull the words together to give them one. Not like this.

All she knew is that she needed to be away from them suddenly and that she had already grabbed her things and that she was already out the door.

Tessa was still outside, cold eyes still staring at her.

She broke into a run.

((Amanda Tan continued in Say You're One of Them))
"I have the heart of a young boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk" -- Stephen King

Those no longer with us

It's the Grand Map of Doom! v6
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