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The excitement had left his body. The feeling of finally succeeding for once wore off. The room was normal again. The tone had become what it always seemed to be these days. Empty. Blank. Barren. It was… disappointing. Disheartening. Disenchanting. He had been able to find Junko, yeah, but it seemed that that didn’t change much. He was back to talking about the game. He was back to talking about the fact that he was going to die. He was hoping he wouldn’t have to, honestly. He had found his friend. That was supposed to be a good thing. They could talk about what they did and what happened back then. They were going to distract themselves. That was what they were going to do.

But she had asked a question, and it was his duty to answer it. Explain his viewpoint. Talk, like they used to.

“I mean, like. I don’t really want to. Being on an island and playing a game where you’re supposed to murder your classmates probably isn’t really anyone’s ideal way of dying…”

He had wondered whether he had told this before. He knew that it had occurred to him when he was here. Several times, in fact.

But had he ever vocalised it? To Alex? To Hazel? To Jordan? They knew of his priorities. They knew about the list, but did they know the full story? Did they know why he was doing this?

He wasn’t sure.

It didn’t matter, anyway.

He’d just tell them. If they came to him again. He could do that. There wasn’t a real issue with it. He’d just tell them, like he was going to tell Junko.

Simple as that.

“But I just sorta have to accept it, y’know? Like, I think there are bit over a hundred of us here. That’s less than a one percent chance of survival. Not odds I’d bet on.”

He paused, for a second. Took a breath. Continued.

“So it’s like… the Seneca thing I’ve probably told you about. The whole, like, hope cycle thing. If people are too optimistic at the fact that a certain thing is going to happen, then if it doesn’t happen like they think they get sad. If someone’s pessimistic, then they’re fine if it doesn’t happen, but happy if it does happen. I’ve been… sorta going by that. Just going by and doing as much as I can, so that when the time comes, I can look back and be happy.”

A pause.

“I mean…”

He looked away. Turned back.

“I don’t think either of us are going to live through this, so we may as well make the most of our time here, right?”
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Idiot Launch · Doctors’ Offices