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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Yeah, she really should run after Nate. Like, she'd given him quite a lot of her food, after all. Surely that meant she was emotionally invested enough in his survival to follow him around, make sure he was alright. Protecting her investments, and all that. She almost smiled at the thought, but her face was quite blank now.

She only had a couple seconds to decide whether she wanted to try to catch up to Nate or to follow Scout. Damn you, Nate. Why couldn't you have made this easier? You know-- well, you don't know, but you would've known if only you put some effort to getting to know Asuka-- that she's shit at making decisions like this on the spot. Indecisive as fuck, et cetera. This particular piece of introspection really wasn't helping right now.

She shook her head. Well. Let us assume that our enemies are competent and that only one of us is indeed making it off of the island. Not her, of course, but that's beside the point. Well, not exactly-- she already knew what her gut wanted her to do, and every thought that helped her let herself off the hook for it was gonna help-- and she even knows she's doing this, how fucking wonderful! It's a good thing she can come up with a bunch of philosophical bullshit to justify that, too. But in any case-- Nate was gonna die anyways. A couple of days on or off his life didn't really make much of a difference, so long as the rest of it was good and meaningful-- and if he didn't wanna hang around her anymore, she wasn't one to stop him, wasn't gonna make him miserable just so she could...think of herself as helping and protecting him? No. Him running off was gonna make a real dent in her self-esteem, though. Right now it registered only as something of a hollow pang.

Not that she gave zero fucks about how long the kid lasted. But-- and let's be totally, 100% honest with ourselves here--

Her feet were already making her move in the direction Scout had gone.

If she were honest with herself, she'd already gotten as much mileage out of talking to him as she was going to get, gotten to know him as much as she was able. And she had more meaningful things to do with the rest of her life than making small talk with someone she basically knew she could barely talk to. To prolong something that was meant to die.

Not that Asuka believed in fate. Or even wanted to.

She was a determinist and a fatalist, though. Go figure.

((Asuka continued in Mystic River))
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
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