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She felt a slight of regret. For what she was not sure, because the term 'slight' and 'regret' were most unfitting to describe the rush of feelings she had when she saw what was once Tessa.

Lucilly averted her eyes. She averted them for all the hours that came. Out of eyes, out of mind, it was said. A futile hope, perhaps even realized by Lucilly herself. Yet she did not look. She did not look at Tessa. Not at the bloody heap that remained. She dared not to look at Jaime or Amanda or Emma or Kaitlyn. She dared not to look at sky or the earth, nor the buildings on the ground or the sea far away.

She had, of course, not closed them. Not to the physical reality, but her soul was long departed from this truth.
---

Lucilly slept uneasy. That she slept at all, a majestic wonder. She had, however, suffered and suffered from an onslaught of dreams. Rather, than to speak of dreams - a term which implied a vague story, as surreal as it may be - she saw pictures.

She saw Tessa, and she saw blood. She saw something, something like a neck that was not. Just a vague body of stinking blood, of bone and meat what was once a beautiful human. What was once a human. She saw it. She saw it again. And again. And again. And again and forever and it was an image that would never leave her. Not when waking, not when dying.
---

Then came morning. With it, came another announcement. Lucilly heard it not. With it, however, came another realization. A realization not made by her but by Jamie, or perhaps Emma. Lucilly felt it was wrong for her to say. Yet she grasped what was said. Kaitlyn was gone, but the meaning of it escaped Lucilly nonetheless. Oh, she would have enjoyed to know whether it was good or bad, or if it was of no meaning at all, but she could just not know.

Lucilly waited for a moment. She saw the sea again. Not in front of her eyes, but she saw it. She took her bag.

"Yes, yes. I am here. Awake. If you..."

She moved towards the door, for a moment she looked Emma into the eyes. They locked but it was dark and Lucilly could not truly see them.

"...if you excuse me, I would need a moment for myself. To, you know, do the thing."

Lucilly curtsied, and in a second, where no one watched but the Lord, Lucilly went away.

[Lucilly Peterson, continued in Im' Just a Soul Whose Misunderstood]
Fiyori Senay
 


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