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Mr. Danya
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It wasn’t’ that Nate didn’t appreciate Asuka’s offer, really, but it just felt so awkward. He didn’t know what to say to her playing therapist, and he definitely didn’t know what to say to her offering him stuff. ‘Thank you’ was the obvious answer, but how was he supposed to say that when he just felt so much like he was being a burden?

Unfortunately, the gnawing pain in his stomach got the better of him, and before he could stop himself he’d pulled a protein bar out of her bag, chomping it down his tight, parched throat. The tepid water that followed felt heavenly, and within moments he’d drained a whole bottle.

He let out a gasp, sniffed up some snot, and stayed where he was crouched over the daypack, trying to compose himself. Asuka’s kindness was more than he deserved, really, but he still didn’t really know how to show it. Even if he did thank her, then what? He couldn’t repay her, and he probably would just keep being deadweight who’d make her life harder.

Rubbing his eyes that were once again so red, he got to his feet, nodding at her, the best appreciation he could offer. He gripped his arms, still shaking just a bit, as he thought about what he should say next. If she wanted to help and hear him out, he wasn’t going to pass up the chance, even if he felt like he should.

“Well, it was-“ another sniff, another swallow, another moment to compose himself. “It was Matt, and Ben. We were looking for stuff, then Alvaro showed up, and-“

He had to keep stopping himself, catching the sobs before they started spilling out again. He knew this wasn’t what Asuka had asked, but this was what was coming out. He couldn’t even think of his favourite hobbies or shared secrets with Ben or Matt: they were his friends, he’d told himself that, but he barely knew them beyond their time on the island and from drama club. What kind of friend did that make him?

“Alvaro shot Ben, and then I ran away. I didn’t mean to leave them, really I didn't, but I just got so scared, and I wanted to help Alvaro too, cause he looked even more scared than we were, but I just got everyone killed.“

He brought his hand up to his mouth, biting on his fist, pulling out the stops to avoid yet another outburst. He continued, words muffled by his own hand but needing to come out all the same, to punish himself like he deserved.

“I’m so useless, Asuka. It’s all my fault.”
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