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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Okay. Sure. Less believable things had happened in the past couple of days than a guy freaking out because he lost track of his friends. Besides, she didn't know the whole story. Maybe he heard their names on the announcements. That'll fuck you up, hearing that your friends were dead or murderers.

Still, that made Asuka the stronger one here, for once. Right. What do strong people do, again?

"Mmm."

She really wasn't any good at this whole schtick of comforting the dead and the dying.

"Sucks."

Really fucking brilliant.

And, see, this is the part where she becomes really fucking aware of all the little details about the environment around her. The sweat causing her clothes to stick together, the dust on the boxes strewn all over the floor. Her own nervous breaths. Get a hold of yourself. Focus on the stuff in front of you. What stuff in front of you? Come on, focus. Yes. Focus.

You don't want to fuck this up. Fuck what up? Yes, it is very important to you that you not fuck up when you

Why was she repeating her thoughts to herself until they were inane, until the words had lost their meaning? She knew why.

To give the guy the fail-safe answer: "Well. If you wanna tell me a little more, later, I can... um. Listen. In the meantime, I guess..."

Was it insensitive to derail this conversation like that? But she really wanted to talk about this. Let's hope she doesn't fuck it up too.

"My turn? Or something. I ran into Jerry Fury. He...um. Was a bit of a silver age comics villain. Practically had a sign over his head saying he eats kittens for breakfast, you know?"

She paused. The way the light reflected off of the dust in the air was really distracting.

"But the thing about silver age villains, they never kill. He'll laugh at me, tell me he doesn't give a shit if everyone but him dies on the island, but he can't fucking own up to it. The fucker still can't...still can't..."

She laughed. Fuck, what was she even trying to say?

"The thing about silver age comics is, they're fucking terrible, y'know? Most of 'em, anyways. Cuz the guy's, like, a fucking caricature, and I can't believe that he actually exists in real life. So I give him a gun and ask him to shoot me, try to get him to chicken out and prove that he doesn't actually exist, and he does. But he only chickens out cuz he's a villain in a medium where you're not allowed to say 'die'. So just as bad."

She paused.

"Fuck me, I don't know why I talked about that stuff. Didn't wanna focus on it, wanted to move past it, cuz it's not really important."

Really, though, fuck her. It was so, so much important for her to do this right than for her to show off how fucking damn clever she was. Time to salvage this mess, make sure he doesn't get the wrong impression. It's not that she gave a fuck how others saw her--okay, maybe she did give a fuck, fucking Holden Caufield imitator--but she didn't want to leave an impression that didn't line up with how she saw herself. She wanted to make sure the audience knew who she was. Sure, her narrative was going to be clever as fuck, cuz she wrote it, but goddammit she was gonna give it a heart too.

"But yeah, I've been...wandering, I guess. Not all who wander are lost, and all that. Though I've also been lost, too, so...uh. So much for that. Trying to have an interesting adventure, die happy, etc."

Her rant earlier was relevant after all. Serendipity, or something. That was worth a stupid, shameful laugh.

"And Jerry really, really fucked that up."

Still, though. Damage was done. Dumbass.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
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