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Viewing Single Post From: Happy Hour with the Deicide Squad
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Being a degenerate is okay these days
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Be careful not to hurt anyone else. It was a nice thought, Jae supposed. A nice intention.

Good intentions had rarely gotten him anywhere, and he had a habit of hurting people even when he wasn't trying to. Brendan was chock-full of good intentions, and look how that had ended up for him and everyone around him. Maybe Jae was a scorpion where Brendan was a swan, but they were both going to drown regardless. If Jae had any say in the matter, he wasn't going out passively, even if most of what he believed dictated that he'd be better off if he did. It was hard to care about how many lives you had lived and would live when all you were aware of was this one. Jae rather liked this life, current dilemma notwithstanding. The thought that it might all have been a waste weighed down until it crushed him.

"I can try," he said, leaving a million what-ifs unspoken. What if they saw Isabel again? Michael? Some other motherfucker with a gun and the intent to use it? Asha might be cool with death as an abstraction, but when it was real and visceral and in your face, it was a lot less mysterious and attractive.

God, he wanted to stop thinking. Keep talking. Find something, anything, to go on about.

"Okay, you want another bombshell?" Jae barely paused for an answer before plowing on ahead, needing to speak before he chickened out again. "I think I'm gay."
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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Happy Hour with the Deicide Squad · Crematorium Chapel