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Cicada Days
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i can feel something inside me say
[ *  *  *  * ]
It hurt so much, to try and hold on. Every inch of Jasper, bits he didn't even remember had existed, drifted away into that yonder blue ocean to a sailor's burial. Anything that Jasper could hang onto bit back, admonished him for daring to try. Slipping into death seemed comfortable and warm like slipping into a blanket. But he had to stay, for his friend. Because Alvaro...

Alvaro wasn't talking.

He struggled to look Alvaro in the eye. More things he couldn't guess at leaked out of the the gape of his abdomen. He could only feel them, not see them. And frighteningly even those pathetic sensations were beginning to fade.

Alvaro still wasn't talking.

Please. Jasper just wanted him to say something. Anything, to acknowledge the finality, the ending of one life and the beginning of another. To let Jasper feel he'd done something, anything at all before he'd slipped away. Had God already confiscated Jasper's hearing too? Was God telling him to let go, let himself rest in peace?

No. No, Jasper felt no peace. Not now, not while one of his best friends was standing there, not saying anything while Jasper begged him to. No, but. Jasper couldn't die like that. He couldn't blame Alvaro. As much as it hurt to see him just stand there. Were Alvaro's lips moving? It was all so dark, too dark to tell anymore. He just needed to be strong a little longer. Push the words out, something, anything. Seconds were passing. Maybe it was minutes, hours. Everything was molten cold, colorless iron and steel filling in the gaps. Where there had once been sensation and sound, now nothing.

The silence felt desolate. Empty, void of all noise. Even the fading whisper of Jasper's own heartbeat in his ears was muffled, indistinct.

Jasper felt so alone. Alvaro was right there and Jasper was still dying alone.

His friend had never been so far away before.

This wasn't peace.

He... just...

Had to...

"P-please..."

Jasper wasn't even sure his lips were moving anymore.

'Say something.'

'Don't leave me here.'

'Don't let me die like this.'
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Thanatophobia · Group Therapy