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Everything came back, all at once.

The room stopped spinning. The noise from the gun had faded, the ringing in Alvaroís ears being the only noise had remained. There were people he saw there earlier - shapes he didnít look at, didnít recognise because he didnít look because the only thing he noticed in the room initially was Jasper and he didnít notice them until it was too late - but they were gone now. Audrey was still there, still standing. She was looking at something, Alvaro wasnít sure what. The feeling of dizziness still remained, and the ripples, the shaking of his body from the gun, were still present. She was looking at something. He didnít know what. He looked. There were chairs, in a circle. One gone. Was that what she was looking at? He wasnít sure. Wait, no. He shook his head. There was something past it. A shape, finally coming into focus.

It was Jasper, bullet in his stomach and blood on the floor.

That was when he realised.

He did that.

He fired the gun.

He just killed Jasper.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in breathe out and no no no no no no no

His body stumbled, moved. Forward. Unthinking. His friend was in front of him. Jasperís body was in front of him. He had to get there. Didnít know how, didnít know why, he had to. He had to do something, he had to get there. He killed Jasper. He had to get there and when he did he didnít know what he was going to do but he had to get there he had to make it to Jasper and do something do he didnít know get there move forward do something you killed him you did it again you killed another friend you have to do something you have to move forward get to Jasper do something just get there and-

He was there. He stopped.

Jasper called out his name.

Oh god, he was still alive.
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Thanatophobia · Group Therapy