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Cicada Days
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keep running yoshi
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For a moment too long Jasper was left wondering if his sentiment had counted for anything. There had the immaterial beginnings of a cold watery something sinking through his stomach. What if Alvaro hadn't listened?

The gun was lowering, and the fear was stillborn as it should have been.

Jasper wasn't even sure if it was relief he was feeling. He'd been so convinced Alvaro would see eye to eye with him that it was no news to him that it happened. It was a warm feeling for sure. Something more like eagerness. That feeling came with an old and familiar face, with a friend. It was starting to rain, Jasper could hear the distant thudding of raindrops against the faraway roof. Maybe nature herself would wash out their sins, let them start anew.

Jasper opened his mouth to speak, because there was so much to say. But he didn't get a word out.

He heard Raina and Cigarette Guy leaving, before he saw them doing so.


It was all in slow motion. Audrey still there, still friendly, but. Raina. Her friend. They were walking away, and they were rejecting the hope of companionship. It was almost a betrayal, that they didn't share in the trust. Maybe it was a tentative peace, but Jasper had thought it could have worked out if everyone had just kept good faith. It wasn't too late, Jasper quickly, boldly thought. Maybe if he reached out and tried to speak to them too? Maybe they'd listen. "Guys!" He moved without without further thought, a step and then another forward into their wake, dragging feet slowly revving for the run. "Don't-!"

He heard the bullets. He didn't see the bullets.

He felt the bullets.

In an instant, all his strength shattered. Jasper didn't even have the breath to cry out. He'd been using that precious, life-giving breath to try and speak. To try and reach out.

That effort was aborted, cut short, and all Jasper was left with for it was the pain. Pain that burned like a fire set to that thing he'd once called a stomach, that instantly locked all his muscles rigid and he couldn't control them or anything else anymore. So he fell onto the ground with a hard crunch, and was robbed of what was left of his breath. But he let it go, as much as he could even control that. He didn't need that breath. Right now all he needed to do was desperately cling onto what was left. His peace. His hope. His friends. He could hold on somehow, even as his arms were suddenly too weak obey him.

"Alvaro..." His voice rattled flimsily and he was gargling his own shredded innards. "Alvaro... please..." He didn't even know if he was loud enough to be heard anymore, his lips were unceremoniously shoved against the floor and each syllable was a struggle for what was left of his lungs.
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Thanatophobia · Group Therapy