"We tried to be better, but we aren't. I don't think anyone could last more than a week here if they weren't willing to do bad things." - Alba Reyes

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Viewing Single Post From: Elapsam Semel Occasionem Non Ipse Potest Iuppiter Reprehendere
Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
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Fine.

Let's take a look at Alan. Take a long, hard look, because Alan was many things but he wasn't delusional, right? No he wasn't he was always ideologically consistent and preached what he practiced and, and what was it that he preached again? Utilitarian, greater good, badass motherfucker. And, well. Look at him now. Innocent girl murdered in cold blood, and it's all worth it, but how do you feel? Yeah, Alan, fancy that. How does it feel?

He wasn't the hero they deserved, but he was the hero they needed. Yeah. Real fucking clever, was how he felt. But seriously, let's take a moment now and

"Yes."

How does it feel when

"It really is all my fault."

Well. Turns out it feels damn good.

And here's a big stupid grin from Alan now, kinda delusional-- no, definitely delusional, make sure you show your teeth and really force the thing out and if he could he'd do a big stupid evil laugh that'd be perfect. But he wasn't quite buying it yet. He wasn't quite buying it yet, and you know why?

Ideological consistency. Preach it, brother. Then you can do your fucking evil laugh.

Okay okay okay time for Alan to be actually totally completely honest with himself and yeah let's get on with it let's take a look. Stop wasting time. Hey, look, he knows he's stalling. Motherfucker's gotten self-aware.

So for real this time

A lone badass never had a chance of making this shit happen. So, like, what. Get a team, right? And if he's taking this approach, if he's gonna rebel no matter what it takes then it makes sense to be, like, ruthless. Pragmatic. Utilitarian. So far, so good. Except, well, y'know.

Turned out Alan was just a lone badass motherfucker.

"Oh, yeah, fucking wonderful. My fault you went and pulled out a fucking syringe I didn't fucking know about and used it on Mia, huh? That's totally my fucking fault. Fuck you."

He could barely look at Kaitlyn. Looks like he still hasn't followed through all the way. Close your eyes, hold your nose. Swallow. What does it do to him? Transformation. He becomes a new man. A remade man. An ubermensch. Okay, so the last one's a bit over-the-top, but that's all Alan had ever wanted to be. Over-the-top. Badass. Motherfucker.

There. He'd gone and said it. Alan was rebelling cuz that's what he did. Come death or high water or especially hell, Alan Banks gonna rebel, even if it's doomed. But if success ain't his game, how he gonna justify all the shit he pulled?

Simple. It's the rebel way. Wind in his cape. Wind in his hair. Doesn't he look so fucking cool? Yeah. Don't even pretend you don't think it. Thing is, he wanted some more wind in his hair, and he knew what he was gonna do to get it. Repeat it to yourself. Again. Ideological consistency. What're your ends, Alan Banks? And how you wanna end?

Alan opened his eyes. Looked at his hands. That's what you do when you're remade, right?

"But hey. Fuck me too. I think this can be the start of a beautiful partnership. Eh?"

New dawn. New day. C'mon, smile. Do it for real. Don't force it. You're feelin' good.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
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