"We tried to be better, but we aren't. I don't think anyone could last more than a week here if they weren't willing to do bad things." - Alba Reyes

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Viewing Single Post From: You Gave Up Being Good When You Declared a State of War
Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Nope.







Asuka was on the verge of tears. Not at Jerry's words, though. She'd heard that line too many times to let it get to her. Really. Don't let the tears make you think otherwise. They're tears of rage. Asuka hated that. She hated how every time she got juuuust pissed off enough to unleash a brutal, no-holds-barred verbal beatdown her tongue tied itself into a knot and her tear ducts opened and what the fuck, she was mad, she was supposed to be fucking mad. Her body was a traitor. What's that, body? You're trembling? Fuck you.

Oh, and now they wanted her to hand over her weapon, too, huh? Did--did they actually think she'd do it after--like--all that? Was this real life? Was this just fanta--fuck, she was not gonna finish that thought. Even now, it seems, she's still incapable of keeping her mind from following dumb tangents. But seriously, was she dreaming? How the fuck did these people even exist? Answer her. Please just fucking answer her. No? Well. Okay then.

But first. Address Toby. "Wish I had something of substance to tell you. Good luck." And she meant it.

And now to talk to them. Well, mostly Jerry. Though Nadia wasn't exactly off the hook either.

"Fuck you. Fuck both of you." It was as good a start as any.

"Y'know, I always knew that assholes existed, but this is. Um. Kind of a first. Can you even fucking hear yourselves? Do you also steal food from orphans and kick kittens or something?"

Her voice was following a really weird cadence, alternating between 'coolly analytical' and 'inside-voice screaming'. Asuka hated it. Impossible to take seriously.

"You'd think the realization that the person you're talking to is gonna die soon would make you pause before you go and be a total dick, but nooo. You have to go and--and--like, you're not real asshole. You're the image the shitheads come up with when they make dumb PSA's about bullying. Did that sink in? No? Don't answer, because even if you do get it it's my fucking turn, and if you wanted me to have a different mental image of you then you shouldn't have made yourself look like a dumbass jackass. You're so ridiculously disgusting I can't even accept that you exist."

Jerry and Nadia, platonic ideals of the bully and the bystander. Oh, that was extra pretentious. Lovely.

Still, though, the logic checked out. Jerry was objectively an asshole. Objectivity didn't exist. Ergo, Jerry didn't exist. What, it doesn't check out? Shh, don't tell her that. She's feeling a tad emotional. She's venting. Actually having sound logic wasn't the point.

"Sit on that for a while. I hope I die tomorrow. I hope I fucking die and make you realize that you kinda helped kill me. Don't fool yourself by saying you couldn't have known what would happen. You have to know by now that my odds of making it alone are worse than if I'm in a group. So yeah. Not sure if you'd feel guilt over that. But I hope I die. And I hope you go and fucking win this thing, so that you can go home and realize that all the shitty things you may or may not have pulled but honestly I am so done with being nonjudgmental I'll go ahead and make that assumption BUT ANYWAYS I hope you go and realize that all that shit was way way way shittier than you ever thought it was."

Asuka turned to Nadia. "And I'm not giving this thing"-- she patted her gun-- "to players. Not to assume that y'all are gonna be players. But I pretty much am."

Asuka immediately regretted half the speech. It was too manipulative. Too calculated to hurt. Still, though. The other half? Totally worth it.

"Sayonara."

That's your cue. Apologize. You get one chance.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
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