"We tried to be better, but we aren't. I don't think anyone could last more than a week here if they weren't willing to do bad things." - Alba Reyes

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Viewing Single Post From: You Gave Up Being Good When You Declared a State of War
Namira
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Null sheen.
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It wasn't Jerry who hailed her back at first, but one of those in the room with him.

Not the ideal start, even if Toby was trying to avoid tunnel vision. Not very well, mind, but she was trying. Her priorities had been more than rattled by the announcement, especially when it came to her actual goals. This wasn't the reality she wanted to live in, the reality where she was barely able to spare a thought to grieve over a friend dying because another friend was dead. Toby could barely process that Abby was dead, let alone deal with it. She didn't even want to address that the first person to die was Jennifer.

She was trying to calm herself down, and it wasn't working.

Toby slid just a little further around the door frame, catching a glimpse of who it was that'd spoken. Oh, Asuka. Their social circles - insomuch as either of them had ones that counted - had ... brushed, here and there, but they weren't close. Toby didn't think she'd exchanged more than a handful of words with her throughout high school. In any case, she made an asinine comment about said lack of familiarity, and Toby had to clamp down on an angry response.

No, actually, Toby didn't wish either of them had known each other better. Because there shouldn't have been a 'before' to look back on. They shouldn't be in this fucked-up situation for Asuka to express regret that the most significant conversation they'd ever had was one of them borrowing a pen from the other.

"Don't we just," was what she managed in reply.

Then Jerry piped up again, and Toby very nearly punched the wall.

He asked her exactly what she was about to ask him.

"I was hoping you would've seen him," Toby let the 'dead' part lie. If she didn't address it, it wouldn't be there.

She let out a breath. "Fuck."

All right. All right. She'd tried. That was important.

"I really need to make sure he's okay, so if he's not here..." she trailed off, looked at the three in the room. Asuka, Jerry - another girl just to the side, who Toby recognised as Nadia Riva. They'd crossed paths on runs on occasion, but again, nobody close. "Look, I don't know what you guys have all got planned or anything so I'm not going to get in your hair."

Another glance around them. Two people she didn't know if she could trust and one that she sort of trusted but didn't really like. Jerry was, well, Jerry. He was a jackass, but Toby couldn't see him hurting anyone.

But then, she couldn't see Kimiko hurting anyone, before this morning.

Company was... it was a risk, there were no two ways of slicing it. More of a risk than going it alone? It was hard to say. Damn hard.

"If you wanna come with, I'm going to go find Travis," she spoke looking right at Jerry. "But you better not slow me down, if you do."

Toby bounced lightly on her heels. She was prepared to run and not stop until she was sure her friends were safe.

She couldn't protect Abby. She hadn't even had the chance. She couldn't let that happen again.
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