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"Well shit, now you made me feel bad, thanks..." He would've started dwelling on the fact that he sucked at sarcasm, but Jerry reminded him of his own fatal flaw in a plan thought to be flawless. Main difference was, when Jerry was joking, Michael was serious...

"Oh, yeah... Belts." Jerry was right, they were going to need straps and belts to hold all of this shit to their clothes. He knew that. Totally. He just hadn't quite thought about how he was going to get to it. "Yo, follow me for a moment." Michael walked to the tires, grabbing the one on the top of the pile, he rolled it to the side.

"Now this shit is probably gonna take the whole day, which is why it'd be best to get it done now, rather than later. I doubt people are gonna start going batshit this early, maybe one or two, but we all won't devolve into psychopathic inmates overnight; which means now is the perfect time for preparing plans." Michael mimed cutting areas of the tire, showing Jerry his plans on making armor. "So, this is too large to make a single shoulder pad, so once we cut out a piece for it, we split it down the middle right, now we got two pieces, and they'll fit like a charm." He made two lines across the areas he planned to show as shoulder pads. "After that, we cut slits in between the lines here, and here, slide a belt through it, kind of like how a shoelace and the little hole thingy in the shoe works, right?"

Michael stood up, miming putting on the pad. "Then we wrap the belt around our shoulder, just under our arm. Boom! Instant Mad Max; after that, it's just wrist and shin guards, maybe a codpiece if you wanna keep your Jimmy intact." Michael groped his own groin on delivery of the 'Jimmy" line.

He pointed out towards the direction they came from, towards the bar. "There's a living quarters just down the road, probably got some belts and shit we could use to make straps."

There was one question before they embarked on the quest to look cool however. "By the way, can I see your knife? I kinda wanna see how strong this tire is, just so we don't make a bad choice or some shit and find out way too late."

If this tire plan works, well shit, it'd be fucking awesome as a motherfucker. The Bad Motherfucker 4000, badder than your ass. If it didn't work... Well, c'est la vie or whatever the Greeks said.
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70's Horror Movies · Vehicle Depot