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Before then, Olivia hadn't known it was possible to feel both envy and pity for one person at the same time, but somehow, Irene had managed to elicit these feelings.

Of course, now, Olivia had amassed a large enough list of friends, a list of all the people she wanted to live with, all the people whose faces she just wanted to see one more time, whose words she wanted to hear, whose presences she wanted to be in, she had that, a long enough list of that. But the fact of the matter was that Irene's list, bucket list of people, it stretched on and on and on, and was still being enumerated as of now, in fact, and it was and always would be much longer than Olivia's. It was something she could never quite get over, how easily Irene had friends, how her quirks attracted rather than repelled people, how it all came to her so naturally while Olivia had to learn it, earn it bit by bit. It was an envy that was more of a light 'how-to-be-you' style though, not the deadly, sinful version of it.

But that envy, it mixed with but didn't cancel out the pity, or maybe it was sympathy she was thinking of, that she felt for Irene, who was expressing perfectly everything Olivia had just felt a few moments ago. And then Olivia felt another wave of that panic oncoming as the names kept on coming, as she realized that every single one of these people was here on this island, because to form a group on this island, you needed all those people to be physically present, and most, if not all, were present, were here, trapped on this island. She felt herself to be in this stormy sea, really, one much more turbulent than the one they were facing. with wave after wave coming, and she thought she'd weathered it out back in the cave she woke up in, but there were still more coming, but all Olivia had to do to temper the storm was breathe, breathe.

And then Irene was still speaking, and part of Olivia wondered if she was still physically present on the island, or if she was just reciting the class roster at this point. She considered going up to Irene, putting a hand on her shoulder, and telling her that they couldn't make a group that big, couldn't save all those people, but she didn't like to be the bearer of bad news. Also, while most warned against doing this, sometimes, people still ended up shooting the messenger. So, Olivia just looked at Irene, and waited for her to exhaust her list.
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G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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"Mara was a mistake." - Cicada, 2017
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Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... · The Cove