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Viewing Single Post From: Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools...
Maraoone
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COMIN OUT OF MY CAGE AND I'VE BEEN DOIN JUST FINE
[ *  *  * ]
Olivia went up to Irene to try to join in on the friendship hug, but before she could do so, Hannah had already let go, and Olivia found herself in that strange awkward spot where she wasn't quite sure who to go near, her arms spread half-open like she was reaching out for something. For a second or two, her arms were suspended like that, but then she went for the person who asked for the hug in the first place, Irene, and turned towards her. This was another bug from little her, some crick that she'd never learned to fix, some mistake, some screw-up, and this was supposed to be a happy place, a normal moment, an eternal moment. So, she hugged Irene, took in her warmth. And it was made all the better by Hannah accepting her apology, pardoning her. She took it in, sighed in relief.

And then all of a sudden, it felt very cold, very sharp on the side of her stomach. Hard. And after Hannah forgave her, she mentioned that Johnny Three was a gun. She had assumed it was some obscure reference, some inside joke, not, not this.

And all of a sudden, she took back her sigh of relief. Her eyes widen, her breath shook, although neither could see nor probably hear. All of a sudden, she felt the island facing her straight on, all its realities, with her best friends nonchalantly talking about a gun as if it were a Barbie doll, a new skateboard, this normal moment suddenly tainted with this rather unusual remark, and she found the island literally facing her, with the camera that had taken in Hannah's breakdown now taking in every detail of her face, filming her, sketching her, providing everyone with pre-made beginnings to judge her from, and there was Hannah, drawing lines again, and although Olivia liked this talk of grouping up, belonging, she said it'd only be the three of them, maybe a few more, and it couldn't only be the three of them because there was Georgia Lee and Lily and the other Lili and so many other people that couldn't wouldn't fall into the game even though everyone else had every time and she couldn't face this couldn't deal with this couldn't couldn't

Deep breaths, Olivia, quick, deep breaths. Irene would hear them, yes, feel the sharp puffs enter her ear, but deep breaths. Close your eyes.

Help me God.

Please.

She opened her eyes, felt her arms a little too tightly wound around Irene's ribs. She'd probably been there for five seconds, maybe. A bit too long. An awkward bit too long. Remembered again that this was a happy moment. A normal moment. She couldn't screw this up.

Where was she again? Right, groups. She belonged. She let go of Irene, and turned to Hannah with a slight smile, and said, "Yeah, that sounds nice." Nice thoughts, happy thoughts.
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G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... · The Cove