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escaping the real world to face reality
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Was Kaitlyn actually taking him seriously? Did that Lili girl actually take his offer at face value? Kid, when someone makes you that kind of offer, you're supposed to offer back something stupid or epic or something. Like, Alan was attached to his lightsaber and shit. He didn't want to give it up for literally nothing. That was a dumb idea. Lili was supposed to offer back two bars, or her weapon, or a piece of grass she found on the ground or something. It was like a game. A good game, not this shitty game.

He tossed two bars and his lightsaber over to Lili.

"Now give me a bar and a penny. If you gimme a rusty dime I will throw it at you."

Except he did get something from Lily. Loyalty and shit, right? He'd shown her some goodwill, hadn't he? And, fuck, maybe she wouldn't be much use to his upcoming Rebel Alliance, but at least she could keep watch or something, right? The Rebellion would need every fucker it could get, and it should get every fucker it could get. Doing otherwise would betray the cause or something.

Hell, this was a pretty good-sized group assembled here right now.

Alan cleared his throat.

"Alright, here's the dealio. I'm not playing, and I don't think any of you are. If you are, then, like, fuck yourself and all, but I don't feel like wasting time doing an eval on you."

It was dumb not to vet people or something, but eh........fuck it. Nobody had an actually good weapon anyways to backstab someone with.

"Anyways, if you wanna join a badass Rebel Alliance or something, I'm putting the offer on the table now. Except Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn's required to join so she doesn't go off on her own and contribute to societal collapse or something."

There. That got the right message across. Plus she was the only one here who would definitely be fun to talk to. That was something.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
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