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New General SOTF Discussion Thread
Sep 24 2016, 06:13 AM
It isn't? My layout is two separate observation rooms. The bit in the middle is the hallway that patients enter each room from, and where the doctors can enter their own observation rooms.

EDIT: Also, the squares are doors. I should probably have drawn this map better.

Plush Wants To Read Your Dead Things!
Hey, Paige. I'm not sure what you're queues at, but if it's got any room could you check out Dougie?


God Help the Outcasts
Something spiked in his blood when she asked to see his kit, but he nodded it away, willed it away. Revealing what was in his bag - beyond the rations and the medkit that came standard, naturally - wouldn't go very far in the theme of this interaction.

Keep the peace, prevent this whole thing from melting down around him immediately.

"Sure," he said, brightly, "no, yeah. I get that. Here,"

He turned to his bag, then, opening it halfway and reaching inside it, carefully. His fingers brushed it as he retrieved the box, slid it out from the bag, and closed it shut again, taking an extra moment to smooth it closed, giving the appearance of fussing.

Oskar handed the box over, then - glancing on the ground first - sat beside Caedyn, stretching his legs out and tucking the bag behind him.

"How bad is it, doc?"

How Long Will I Fall?
It became tradition, in this bustling city, to aim and fling.

The windows were high in the apartment nestled on the corner of the fourth floor, the brownstone flecked with red, green, grey. Marred by chunks knocked out, the glass constantly broken, leaving fist-sized holes all over the four panes that marked various look-outs on the Seattle skyline.

The tenants had long since gone, but the apartment wouldn't sell - the landlord had long since given up repairing it. He'd removed the rock garden that surrounded the shrubs on the boulevard, but people brought their own ammunition instead. He'd put up a higher fence, but that made the challenge more alluring and added other casualties, innocent windows from innocent tenants, to the act.

Eventually, the fence was taken back down, and the apartment was boarded up with plywood. The rocks rained down on it, rattling the knotted and warped sheets, staining it with dampness, moss, dust.

The locals had a name for the act, though it differed from locales. Some called it justice, others called it a homage. No other vandalism was allowed, after a certain point - just rocks flung at a specific fourth-floor corner apartment in a brownstone flecked with gray and green.

At the nearby high school, kids answered the question why with a furious set of their brow, a jutting of jawbone that carried down as only school traditions could.

"Because he deserved it," they said, voices hard, firm.

The Williams family had long since moved on, but their son's memory existed in the broken glass on the street below.

Have My Babies (Adoption Thread)
I'm interested, too!

Project: Wiki
Suicide by [blank] is the more elegant way to put it imo.

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Sep 22 2016, 12:15 AM
NAFT, you sexy beast, can you critique Shuuya Nanahara from the BR AU?

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Okay, Queue's open again. I saw y'all creeping on this thread, so you best step forth and give me your kid.

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Asha Sur:

Y'all love the shitty 'here's a line before the (B69 start) tag' thing, and I'll have you know that V5 started that shit you cockmangling thyroid infused shitbeagles. Boogie, you've blossomed tremendously, and there's nothing in these two threads that I find notable enough to criticise so I'll make this last sentence memorable.


Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Carlyle Shotton:

Okay, Pip, real talk - you say Carlyle's name waaaay too much in narrative, it could use shaking up a fuckton. As for a stinger line - it was okay, didn't blow me away. The last thread was exciting, though.

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Blair Moore:

UUUUUGHHHH QUOTES TO START A KID OFF- did that bitch just fall when scared? I'm intrigued at the motivation, here - some interesting stuff could spin out from this. You've definitely improved.

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Austin White:

What kind of fucking asshole makes a bluff like that? "Lol I can blow your collars no trust me I have this remote thingy." I'm glad he's dead.

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Zoe Walker:

This first thread's dumb and I hate it - two good scenes seem to be going on at the same time and it just muddles things up pretty good, though I like that Zoe and Lukas decide to go for it together. Also enjoy some of the early awareness, even if the actual writing's a tad on the bland side. Also, that last line is one of the best got 'em's in SOTF that I've read - "you may have killed me but your father still hates you you bitch."

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Irene Djezari:

Don't fucking forget that you're RPing here, Cicada, and the pudding is in the interaction. Irene lives a good deal inside her head, but try to make sure that her interactions drive her more than her internal stuff - which is good shit to read btw - does. How the fuck do you pronounce this last name?

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Sandy Bricks:

Slam, this is now my fucking favourite kid you've ever written. Love the character, love the loner-type traits while still being sociable and offering good stuff. I'd advise that you be wary of packing in too much action, though - let these posts breathe a bit between movements.

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Michael Robinson:

I like the idea of restraint in SOTF, and Mikey boy here has that shit in spades. Wonderfully written, love the idea that you can interpret his actions however you want - and his offers are spot-on by both handlers writing him from what I see here. I'm not as pleased with the death - a little too navel-gaze-y, but I like how faithful the adoption was.

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Okay, you shitbirds. Queue's closed, let's get this fuckin' rolling.

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Okay you motherfuckers, the queue is now open. Michael Robinson is the first up, from the Yugster.

Three sentences about your kid: Critique experiment.
Joachim Lovelace:

Joachim suffers a little under Plush, because his real charm was the way Bik wrote him in the specific way I suspect Bik's brain works. Plush tried to emulate it as much as possible - with the clipped sentences and broken thought patterns - but it just isn't the same. I do like the death thread, after a reread - I remember not being so hot on it in V5 proper - but it's a good ending to a weird character.