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I'm gonna give this a shot! Count me in, decoy!

A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks
Adonis figured that he had some time to kill before Mallory figured out what he had said, so he wondered what he should do. Lifting weights sounded like too much work, but it would help him look like the perfect specimen that he was. Same deal with the exercise bikes. He could go back to messing around with Patton and seeing who could one-up the other the most. Or maybe he could watch the wrestler chick run. Girls on treadmills were always fun. Yeah, that sounds-

"Stick a ref's whistle up your ass, Alba!"

Oh, so Manly Mallory wants to play.

Mallory had caught on quicker that Adonis thought she would, and he really didn't expect what she had just said. He had to think up a comeback, he just had to! Adonis put on his trademark nasty grin as he came up with one.

Stick a ref's whistle up my ass, huh?

"Well, I don't know about you, but I've never had anything stuck up my ass, and I don't want anything up there anytime soon."

C'mon, keep going! Think of something better!

"Why don't you stick a ref's whistle up YOUR ass!"

Eh...not my best work, but it'll do.

Matt Masters
Um...hi everybody. I just noticed this critiques thread and I thought that it might be a good idea to try to get some feedback for my first flagship, the kindhearted wrestling fan, Matt Masters.

Matt's life as we know it begins here

Please be honest. This is my first RP ever and it's the only way I'll get better.

Super Llama's Game Concept (Black Box Soul)

Seriously, I would buy this game.

A Gold Dubloon for the First One to Find the Right Toy
Matt listened to what Laura had to say about each toy, and watched as she sketched some more between each critique. She seemed really focused on her sketch. Granted, she was using it to determine what to get Sophia for her birthday, albeit through a process that Matt still didn't totally understand. Eventually, she showed him her finished sketch, with all the toys he had shown her now present. She wanted the fox for sure, so that was one gift down. She liked the ball, but was a bit iffy on the blocks. She did agree that she should teach Sophia to read, however.

"Arr matey! We be sailing in tough waters now!"

That little outburst caught Matt's attention. He turned his head over to the source of the noise. It turned out to be Alex Ripley, another girl from school. Apparently she had set off one of the talking parrot toys that speak with hilariously bad pirate accents.

Well, that was...unexpected.

Matt's attention snapped back to Laura as soon as she began talking again. She was going to get the fox and the ball, so apparently he had been some help after all. He took the gifts that she didn't pick and placed them back on the shelf. She said that she didn't need to get too many gifts, because other people would be pitching in as well. Then she thanked him for helping her.

"You're welcome". It felt nice to be appreciated outside of home or work for once.

"So Matt, what are all the toys in your basket for? You shopping for a little kids party?"

Matt looked at the basket in his hand. He had almost forgotten about the reason he had come to the store in the first place.

"Well, no. It's not for a party." Matt began. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "I volunteer at the Women's and Children's Center, and last Christmas everyone pitched in to buy presents for all the kids staying at the center. I didn't have any money at the time, so I wasn't able to help. I felt kinda guilty about it, so I've saved my money for the past month so that I could come here and get some toys for the kids. I'm gonna drop them off when I go by there this afternoon."

Matt picked the Mick Foley action figure off the top of the pile of toys. "This one, though, I'm getting for me. When I was a kid, I would watch him wrestle on TV all the time. He was practically one of my heroes growing up. When I saw it on the shelf, it kinda reminded me of being a kid again, you know? I'm probably gonna set it up on my desk at home, or something."

A Gold Dubloon for the First One to Find the Right Toy
Matt waited as Laura looked over the toys he picked. She thought the blocks were OK, and she seemed to like the fox, too.

"I do like the fox a bit more than the blocks. So that's a start. I wonder what else I should get her."

Responding to Laura's answer, Matt placed the blocks back on the shelf, but kept the fox in his hands.

Hmmmm. Hang on, let me try something.

Laura set down her latte, pulled a sketchpad out of her bag, and started to draw. Matt was somewhat surprised at this new development, as he had never seen someone spontaneously start sketching before. Whatever she was drawing, she seemed really focused on it, and Matt didn't want to interrupt her, so he waited for her to finish. Once Laura was done drawing, she showed her work to Matt. She had drawn a young girl in a dress holding a plush fox. He was surprised at how good the sketch was for being drawn in such a short time. Matt figured that the girl in the sketch must be her daughter, and the stuffed fox in the picture only served to prove his theory. Laura explained that this was a drawing of her daughter, who he now knew was named Sophia, on her birthday. Laura wanted to draw the toys into the picture with Sophia to see if the toys they chose would fit with her.

Matt nodded. "I think I get it. I'll find something."

He looked up and down the shelves once more, with the stuffed fox now along for the ride in his basket. After passing some toys that he had either previously rejected or were simply too old for Laura's daughter, he found a nice little treasure trove of goodies. He picked three toys off of the shelf and went back to Laura to present his findings.

"OK, first things first, I found this ball." Matt plucked a nice-sized white ball with pink stars out of his basket. "It can't fit in her mouth, it's filled with air, and it's made out of really strong rubber, so it won't break." He tapped the ball, and sure enough, it was hollow, and sounded quite sturdy.

Next he grabbed a set of colored shapes from the basket. "These are made to help babies learn shapes and colors. They aren't too small, they're made of plastic, and they have rounded edges, so there's no sharp corners."

He revealed the last toy in the basket, which was actually a set of board books. "Well, I got these because I heard that If you read to babies when they're really young, then they'll have an easier time learning to read when they're older."

Matt set the three toys on an empty area of the shelf, so that Laura would be able to look them over. Once again, he waited for her response.

Jake Mordetsky
...So...many...spelling...errors...I have dishonored myself...


Jake Mordetsky
Look, up in the sky, its...


A Gold Dubloon for the First One to Find the Right Toy
It turns out Laura was shopping for her baby. Matt probably should have guessed as such. Her daughter would be turning one soon, and she was trying to find age-appropriate toys for her. Tough job, especially seeing as babies can't really tell you what they like or don't like, so shopping for them can be sort of dificult. Matt could sympathize with that.

"Seems like you can get into the mind of a child really easily. Tell me Mr. Masters, what would you get for a one year old girl?"

Huh? Is she actually asking me my opinion on the matter?

Never one to let down someone in need, he looked studiously at the shelf, eyeing every toy that a baby might potentially enjoy, while still staying withing the boundaries of safety. He passed over a few toys that didn't fit the bill, before finding something that could work.

"Well, there are some soft plastic blocks right here with pictures of Winnie the Pooh characters on them." He picked the blocks off of the shelf. "They're too big to fit in her mouth, and they squish down when something puts pressure on them, so she can't hurt herself with them." He demonstrated by squeezing a block between his thumb and pointer finger. Sure enough, the block squished between them, and regained its shape when he released it.

Holding the blocks in one hand, he looked over the shelf once more before finding a second toy. He couldn't help but smile as he saw a very familiar plush on the shelf. He picked it gingerly off the shelf and held it in his other hand. It was a plush fox, with stubby little legs and tiny yarn eyes.

"This is also a really good one. It's eyes are actually yarn that's sewn into the plush, so there's no buttons to fall off. It's also softer than it looks. I remember my mom giving me one just like this when I was a kid. It was my favorite toy."

Matt looked to Laura for a response. He hoped that she would be happy with what he had picked.

A Gold Dubloon for the First One to Find the Right Toy
(Matt Masters continued from Good Morning, Matt!)

The Treasure Chest Toy Store. Matt remembered this place. When he was a kid, he would go there whenever his mom took him to the mall. Nowadays, he mainly just drops by every once in a while to see if any new WWE action figures are in stock. He had made a habit of collecting them, and now his collection was at nine figures and growing.

But today, he wasn't here for sightseeing. He had a job to do.

The Center for Women and Children had given presents to all of the kids staying at the center on Christmas, but Matt didn't have enough money to contribute. Today, now that he's saved up some money, he's going to the toy store to buy the gifts that he had been unable to buy two months ago.

Matt moved steadily through the aisles, studying the shelves to make sure that he didn't miss anything on his list. Sure enough, he began to find the toys he needed. One by one, he would grab the toys off the shelf and place them in his basket. He was moving like a toy-shopping machine, mentally checking off each item as he placed it in the basket. My Little Pony playset? Check. Grave Digger toy monster truck? Check. Pokemon plush? Check. Harry Potter Legos? Check. Rey Mysterio action figure? Check.

As Matt checked off the last item on his mental list, an object on the shelf caught his eye. It was something that he hadn't expected to find, especially not now, while he was focused on something else. It was an item that he had been searching for for a few months now, and it was right in front of him.

A Mick Foley action figure.

Matt smiled as childhood memories sprung back into his mind. Running around with a sock on his hand, pretending to give evil wrestlers the Mandible Claw. Those were the days. His short memory trip only convinced him further that he needed this figure, and he wasn't about to argue with that feeling. Besides, he had saved up a lot of money, so he should be able to get a little treat for himself, right?

Speaking of treats, it's getting kind of close to lunchtime.

Placing the Foley action figure on top of his pile of gifts, Matt turned to walk towards the cashier. However, someone crossed his path. It was a girl from school. Laura Nyquist, if he remembered properly. She used to be a cheerleader, as he recalled, but quit after she got pregnant. Come to think of it, he had pretty much no idea what she was like now. She wasn't cheerleading anymore, he knew that for sure. She seemed like she was looking for something, and it wasn't in Matt's nature to not try to help someone. He casually walked over to her and asked her politely:

"Hey, are you looking for something? I mean, I might be able to help. I know this place pretty well."

Jake Mordetsky
Name: Jake Mordetsky
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Grade: 12
School: Aurora High School
Hobbies and Interests: Robot Wars, cartoons, drawing, building robots.

Appearance: Jake is not physically impressive by any standards. He is 5'5" and weighs 115 pounds. He has a very scrawny frame, with very little muscle mass. He has pale Caucasian skin due to spending so much time indoors. He has messy brown hair and very expressive brown eyes. His facial features are plain, with an average-sized nose, weak cheekbones, and slightly small ears. His face is very telling of his emotions, so it is easy to tell how he is feeling.

Jake's usual outfit consists of a yellow Robot Wars T-shirt, black cargo shorts, and red sneakers.

Biography: Jake has always sort of lived in the background. His mother Carol is the heiress to a large resort empire, his father Bryan is a world-famous chef with a local restaurant called "Bryan's Steakhouse", and his sister is Stacey May-Mordetsky, budding model and member of the popular clique in school. Jake is just a nerd with self-esteem issues.

Jake's family was always very rich, living in large mansions and able to afford anything the kids wished for. While his sister asked for everything that she laid her eyes on, Jake was much more humble, never really asking for much. He just appreciated the fact that his family was financially stable, and they wouldn't have to worry about going broke. His mother occasionally stayed home with them while their father worked, but she usually just called a nanny to watch over the kids while she took a spa day. Jake didn't mind too much, he would just sit alone with some crayons or building blocks and entertain himself for hours.

Jake struggled to get his mother's attention all throughout his childhood. He would always be drawing or coloring, but whenever he went to show her what he made, she would always be talking to her friends about something that Stacey did, or a pageant that she won. Even as Jake grew older, and brought home perfect test scores, his mother was still too busy gushing over his sister to pay him any mind. She would acknowledge him on occasion, but only briefly before going back to Stacey. This constant treatment caused him to have a very low opinion of himself, believing that he would never be good enough for her to notice him.

His situation was not helped by Stacey's incredibly poor treatment of him, either. Stacey always felt embarrassed to be related to him because of his poor social skills and lack of popularity with their peers. Stacey always told him that he would never be successful because he didn't have any talents that people cared about. Jake believed every word that she said. It provided a perfect explanation as to why his own mother ignored him in favor of Stacey. After all, she was the pretty, popular, successful one, while he didn't have any of those qualities. This caused him to develop a fairly large inferiority complex, a problem that he still struggles with to this day.

His father is very worried about him, taking notice of how much time Jake spends alone, as well as Stacey's caustic treatment of him. He has made many attempts to bring the family closer together, by bringing them on family vacations and road trips, but they always tend to end the same way, with Jake off in his own room while Stacey went on a shopping spree in town. Jake appreciates his dad's attempts to help him, but he doesn't think that his issues can be easily fixed. One thing that Jake absolutely loves about his father, however, is his cooking. Jake will tell anyone that his dad's barbequed brisket is the best thing that he's ever tasted, and he tries to go to Bryan's Steakhouse at least once a week.

Contrary to what he thinks, Jake is actually a very talented young man. He was incredibly bright as a child, and was always able to read and do work at higher grade levels. After ninth grade, he took a test in order to skip tenth grade and go directly to junior year. He takes a couple extra classes, but it doesn't bother him too much. In addition, he also has a very good memory, which has served him well in various tests over the years. He is also very creative, always doodling in his notebooks after class, and thinking up new ideas constantly. His love for drawing has remained over the years, and he keeps a collection of his drawings in his room. Academically, he is extremely talented. Unfortunately, his athletic ability is pretty much a complete inversion of his academic ability. Jake isn't strong, he isn't tough, and he doesn't have a lot of stamina. His poor athletic performance has led to a lot of teasing throughout his school days.

Jake did find solace in television. The world of cartoons allowed him to escape from his depressing life. He will watch comedy cartoons from the 90's as well as superhero cartoons from recent years. His favorite cartoons would probably be Hey Arnold and Teen Titans. His feelings of sadness and neglect seemed to wash away when he would watch his favorite superheroes figure out some amazing plan to beat a supposedly unbeatable villain, or a bumbling everyman try to get through some wacky adventure. The only thing that he loved more than cartoons was Robot Wars, a British TV show from the early 2000s that featured homemade robots fighting in an arena. He loved the action of the fights and the ingenuity of the robots involved. The show eventually inspired him to create a robot of his own. After six months of work, Jake completed his robot, a wedge on four wheels armed with a flipping weapon on the front. He named his robot Tadakatsu, after a robotic character from Sengoku Basara. Seeing how happy Jake was when he built his robots made his father proud, and he is always willing to support Jake in his hobby. Completing Tadakatsu and taking him for a test drive was the happiest moment of Jake's life.

In school, Jake doesn't make much more of an impact than he does at home. He is pretty quiet and secluded compared to most other students, and is near the bottom of the popularity ladder, despite his sister being at the top. He gets good grades, but he doesn't make many friends, mostly due to extreme shyness that built up as a result of his low self-esteem. He has actually convinced himself that the other kids will reject him for all his eccentricities, and not even try to get to know him. He is particularly nervous around girls. While he has had a couple crushes over the years, he was always too afraid to talk to the girl he had a crush on, and ended up missing his opportunity. This has made trying to make friends very difficult for him, and has prevented him from joining any clubs as well.

One day, Jake hopes to design robots as a career. He hasn't decided how he's going to do it yet, but he's very determined. If only he could get the confidence to finally believe in himself, then he might be able to pull it off.

Advantages: Jake is extremely smart, and would be a very good strategist. He is very good at building things, which could help with creating impromptu weapons.
Disadvantages: Jake is physically weak in every sense of the term. He isn't strong at all, he can't take much of a beating, and he doesn't have the stamina to outlast most people. He is very shy and nervous around other students, especially girls. In addition, his low self-esteem could cause him to doubt himself, and in SOTF, one moment of hesitation could mean the difference between life and death.

A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks
Cody seemed to be messing with Adonis. Seriously, calling him an opener? Adonis Alba plays the whole damn game, thank you very much. Well, unless the ref gets snippy with him. Or the coach benches him for "unsportsmanlike conduct". Or he breaks his toe kicking a goal post. Adonis still isn't sure why he did that last one, but he remembered it hurting like a bitch.

"Oh, sure. I'm a great opener. You're a real comedian, Cody. I'll have to remember that one when I'm looking at my Freshman year rushing record." He grinned, hoping ever so slightly that he was getting into Cody's head. "But seriously, man, don't give up on the team. We need at least one person that can get the job done around here. As for me? I'll be doing what I always do, and that's chicks and parties."

Adonis began to realize the gym filling up around him. Forgetting about Cody for a moment, he began to examine the new arrivals. Joey Polpetta was there. He used to be the waterboy on the football team, if Adonis remembered correctly. He seemed like an alright dude. Some Asian guy from the football team also walked in. Adonis didn't know the guy very well. In fact, he never even learned his name. Mike Whaley walked in and waved to the wrestler chick, for whatever reason. Adonis didn't have any issues with Mike, and he didn't feel like starting any. The last person that he noticed in the gym was Mallory McCormick, who headed for the Asian dude.

He grinned, Mallory was a girl, but she always dressed like a boy. Adonis had made his fare share of gender-bender jokes in the past, and she was almost always the butt of them. This was just too priceless an opporitunity to miss, but there was a slight problem. If he just outright cracked a joke at her, then Mike, wrestler girl, and Asian dude would probably call him out on it, and Adonis hated being called out on anything. If he was going to do this, then he would have to be smart about it. He would have to be sneaky. He walked casually past Mallory and Asian guy and made an offhand comment.

"So, you dudes likin' this gym, or what?"

That's it, Adonis. Just drop the bomb and walk away. I mean, it's not like she's gonna go off on me in front of everyone, right?

The bully smirked. Now all he had to do was wait for his comment sink in.

The Inner Circle
Stacey May-Mordetsky would probably fit in here. I'll let you decide, though.

Fox Talks About Fanfics
Hello, fellow SOTF members. I am Aura Master Fox. I have read a good amount of fanfics throughout my time on the internet. Some were good, some were bad, and some were maddeningly insane. As a result, I've decided to start this little thread, so that I can review these fanfics and hopefully entertain you folks as well.

Well, I've picked my first subject, and it's none other than the legendary Thirty Hs. A Harry Potter fanfic that manages to break all laws of space, time, and physics while simultaneously having no plot whatsoever.

Also, as I am thechnically giving away plot elements in these reviews (despite this particular story not having anything close to a plot), the reviews will be spoilered.

All right, let's kick this thread off! The review is in the spoiler.

Thirty Hs

Thanks for reading! Criticism is accepted and appreciated!