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Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Mafia Sing Ups
I'll play.

Give zero fucks about spoilers.

Take My Bones Away
People always said they'd experienced true emptiness. That something bad happened and they just felt nothing. For Cameron it was different. It was an inescapable feeling a dread sitting in the pit of her stomach, the feeling that fate was against her and nothing she could do would stop it.

She puked for a second time.

"Cameron honey? Are you alright?"

Close your eyes, count to five and pretend everything's alright.

"Y-" She swallowed down some of the bile. "Yeah I'm fine."

Silence. Her mom knew, she had to know.

"...Ok honey." She listened to her moms footsteps as they moved away from the bathroom. Waited until she couldn't hear them anymore. Then puked again.

"Oh fuck." Her voice was weak and cracking.

Cameron's parents had just told her they were planning a divorce. It was her worst fear come to life. There was no way around it. No escape. Her parents would eventually separate and she had no control over it. She'd have to go live with one of them. If that was going to be in Kingman or not she didn't know. If it was going to effect her future in terms of going to college she had no idea.

She pushed herself away from the toilet bowl and sat in the middle of the bathroom floor. Her legs pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. The scars on her right arm were visible and Cameron stared at them. A reminder of the first time divorce had been brought up, that time they'd both backed down and decided against it. Sadly this time they were both committed to it. Her dad had already stormed out of the house. That had been the warning shot. Cameron had always been alert and tuned in to what her parents were discussing but to have a totally quiet conversation that ended with her dad leaving. That was bad. When her mom had gently knocked on her door and asked to come in using her name followed by honey Cameron knew it was bad.

She had been right. Staring at her arm she saw the crisscrossing scars, the triangle, the mementos of that time during middle school. What had been the darkest time of her life. She felt the tears running down her face. Cameron shifted to wipe her eyes and heard a dull thud. Looking down she saw her phone had fallen out of her pocket and onto the floor. She picked it up and pressed the lock button, the screen lit up, showing the time and her background. A selfie Vanessa had taken of the two of them after one of their first performances. They were both sweaty and Cameron still had her paint on. Her design that night had been white paint as a base and then a rainbow split over both eyes in a running paint style that went down her neck. Vanessa was smiling while she had just been wide-eyed, trying her best to look confused by the camera. It was her favorite picture of the two of them.

Sliding her finger across the phone's screen to unlock it Cameron turned on the Facebook messenger app. Vanessa was at the top of her recent conversations. As she had been since they'd met.

"Hey coming to yours dont ask why will tell you when I get there."

She didn't hesitate to hit send. Stuffing her phone back in her pocket Cameron got to her feet. She looked like a mess, She'd have to clean up before she went. She started with flushing the toilet.

Rays on Pinion
He almost had her when he said he had a Justin Bieber. Turned out it was just Hendrix, Cameron could appreciate that. It was a good album and the cover art alone was worth the price of admission. It was no Are You Experienced or Electric Ladyland but still very good.In short Cameron approved.

"Good choice." She said with a smile. Holding up the Torche CD so Al could see it as part of her answer for his question. "It's Torche's new album. I'm a big fan of them so it was cool to find."

She span the CD between her palms as she thought about what to say. It was awkward because she had never really spoken to Al and had no idea what he was like as a person.

"So anyway, what kind of music do you like? Anything in particular or just a bit of everything?"

General Video Game Discussion Thread
It's fairly good, but not a patch on Blood Money. Also it changes the formula up, so be prepared for some more stealth based levels and less open areas.

Jane Madison
APPROVED

Rays on Pinion
There were a few interesting looking things but nothing that made her think she had to have it. Then she saw Torche's new album Restarter. She knew it was coming out at the beginning of the year but hadn't been expecting to see it in the store. She had to have it. There was no question. Cameron picked it up and started to look through the song list, she had heard a couple of them on YouTube and they were good. If the rest of the album was like them then it was a winner. Not that she doubted Torche, they were an amazing band and always released good stuff.

Cameron looked up when she heard someone greet her. She automatically assumed it was her because she was the only other living creature in the store that wasn't the cashier. The person greeting her was Al...Al...shit. She'd forgotten, it was a super awkward situation because he had actually been to their shows before. The first two letters of his name were A and L though. So Cameron was comfortable enough with just calling him Al and using that to coast through the conversation.

She waved back at him. "Hey Al. What you picking up?" She pointed at the CD he had in his hand as she spoke. "Hopefully it isn't One Direction, otherwise I'm going to have to ask you to stop talking to me." She grinned to make it obvious she was joking, although she did hope it wasn't One Direction or something like Cannibal Corpse. You had to set standards somewhere.

Rays on Pinion
Hem in the seed
Water to salt
Salt to rai-
BEEP

((Cameron Herrig: Start))

Cameron's head snapped right to see a car sitting right in front of her. She offered up a sheepish grin and apologetic wave to the unamused driver and then quickly jogged the rest of way across the road. Nearly getting run over was really not the way to start things off. It was a good sign for the rest of the shopping trip. If Cameron was going to be honest, she didn't need to go shopping at all. But it beat being in the house. Her parents were in amazing form as roughly two bites into breakfast some argument had broken out over who had or hadn't done the washing the night before. Ever since they'd decided on divorcing the arguments had become more and more routine. Sadly even though it was becoming routine that didn't lessen the impact of hearing her parents yell their hate at one another. She unconsciously scratched her right wrist, feeling the scars of her time self-harming. A reminder of the last time.

Bad memories all around and her parents seemed intent on remixing it all in time for her final terms. They were always so considerate. So instead of staying stuck in her room Cameron had decided to escape by going shopping. Shopping for absolutely nothing, but it was better than being at home. She did have a mental list of places she wanted to go though. It was all of two shops long but that was hardly the point. If anything it was the most planning she'd done all week. First stop, as always, was the record store. The fact there was even a record store still going in Kingman was a minor miracle. But in terms of getting music that wasn't going to be in the big retail chains it was good, that may have been why it was still in business actually.

Pushing the door open Cameron stepped into the musical wonderland. It was a typical record store in every aspect, rows upon rows of CD's, sorted into genres, vinyls in the corner for people who liked to pretend they were old school and even some tapes, for people who were actually old school. Cameron smiled at the cashier and then made her way over into the metal section. She had the same routine every time. Metal, rock, alt, then vinylís because sometimes you could find something they didn't have on CD but never tapes. The tape player in the basement had died on her the year prior and there was no way it was coming back. Instead she'd been working on trying to get her favourite tapes in either CD form or off iTunes. There were only a handful she really wanted, like Rust in Peace and that had been easy enough to find digitally but she really wanted it in CD form. So she started flicking through the CD's on display, looking for anything that seemed interesting. While making sure to keep an eye out for Rust in Peace of course.

Jane Madison
Alright still some changes that need to be made before Jane can be approved.

Quote:
 
very determined to do well, even on tasks she didnít enjoy.
Still need to add this comma in.

Quote:
 
Her fellow classmates found her somewhat off-putting when in this state, which frustrated Jane further as she found it difficult to interact with her classmates.
Classmates isn't needed at the end of this sentence since we already know you're talking about them.

You also haven't addressed how working at the movie theater gave Jane insight into film. Since I'm still fairly sure that just working in the movie theater doesn't particularly improve your insight into the actual making of the movies, if that is what you mean.

Quote:
 
She is bossy, headstrong and somewhat overconfident, but is also motivated, hardworking and confident.
You don't need to have confident at the end here since being overconfident requires confidence to begin with.

Make those changes and then I'll give Jane another look over.

Jane Madison
Hey Espi. Jane is Denied pending some changes.

Having tantrums doesn't sound very precocious so I'd need more explanation into this. Also how is she precocious, since I'm not seeing anything beyond being good at reading, which isn't exactly that big a skill to be advanced at.

The profile says that Jane was a rambunctious child but then in the next paragraph says she loved to read. Not really something you'd associate with a rambunctious kid gonna be honest. Especially since the books in question are classic and modern romance novels.

Quote:
 
he was eager to share his lifelong love of the written with Jane
Word is missing from this sentence.

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Janeís favorite type of books
I think saying her favorite genre would work better here.

Quote:
 
As a student in elementary school, Jane struggled with academics. She had trouble remembering information, a poor attention span, and struggled greatly with even basic math.
Could you change the second struggled here with something else as it just reads in a really clunky and ugly way.

Quote:
 
very determined to do well, even on tasks she didnít enjoy

Did she ever get disciplined for her tantrums and arguements in school? What effects did these personality traits have because even when your young that's stuff that will make other kids like you less. How did her parents feel about this?

Again in the next paragraph it says she had a sharp temper and didn't like being told what to do, how did this effect her socially?

Quote:
 
This was met with mixed success, since Jane tended towards a negative view of life.
Why does she have a negative view on life? Nothing particularly bad has happened to her other than her parents arguing. So what's led her to take a negative outlook like this?

Quote:
 
Theater was unexpectedly appealing for to her,

What does she actually do in her job at the theater and how does it give her an insight into film? Since I don't think having a job at a theater gives you much insight into the inner-workings of how films are made. Also if she doesn't like being told what to do, as mentioned earlier, how does she fair in a work environment?

Quote:
 
When Keith died, he left his daughter a sizable life insurance
I also think a word is missing after life insurance here.

Quote:
 
Jane soon began tagging on along,

Quote:
 
thrill of a purchase and excitement from of searching for new clothes and gadgets.

Easy going should be two words.

If Jane is organised and hard working why is she cramming for exams? That tends to be the last ditch effort to get revision in.

Does Jane have a college she'd prefer to go to? Also what does she want to study at college?

So make those changes, then post here and I'll give Jane another look.

Kaitlyn Greene
APPROVED

<DEMO COMPLETE> Possible TV2 Fangame Opt-In/Help Recruiting
You can use Isaiah and Sarah plus I'd be game for helping with playtesting, since I'd like to think I know a lot about TV2 and I know about RPGMaker games. So I think I cover those bases.

Kaitlyn Greene
Hey D/N, I'll be critiquing Kaitlyn for you.

First up only the first hobby/interest should be capitalized since it's a list.

Quote:
 
She has pronounced thigh muscles from roller derby, but her arms and legs similarly narrow on the way down, and while her hands and size 9 feet would never be considered dainty, they are somewhat smaller than average for her height and weight.
This sentence could do with breaking into two parts because right now its huge.

Did the separation of Kaitlyn's parent have any effect on her or does she hardly remember much of it? I ask because it's a pretty big event in any child's life and there isn't any mention of it having an effect on her.

Is there any particular reason why Kaitlyn will try extra hard to keep the dishes and car clean but lets her room become a mess? It just seems slightly weird.

There's no information about how Kaitlyn felt about her dad getting a new partner, other than why she thought they were attracted to each other. I'd like some more detail about this since it led to a big change in her life, what with them moving house.

Ok for Kaitlyn's interest in roller derby, there wasn't actually a team in Kingman called The Route 66 Derby Chix, that was the league, which contained the Belladonna Bruisers who were from Kingman and the Head Hunter Harlots who were from Bullhead City. So this section will need to be updated to make it more accurate.

Quote:
 
She eventually started hijacking her dadss computer
Extra s.

What does she enjoy about gambling? Is is the act of outwitting someone or are there other reasons?

That's about it for changes so if once you've made those I'll give Kaitlyn another look.

Cameron Herrig
Name: Cameron Herrig
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Grade: Senior
School: Cochise High School
Hobbies and Interests: Music, playing guitar, body paint, wildlife/nature photography, painting, drawing, BMX, dinosaurs

Appearance: Cameron is 5'8Ē and weighs 134lbs with her weight evenly distributed over her body. Her face is round with a flat nose and small thin eyes with eyebrows to match. Her mouth is small and has a noticeable cupids bow and she has a small rounded chin and jawline. Cameronís hair is a light copper red in colour and is kept long down past her shoulders, although part of this length is through extensions. Cameron accentuates her fair complexion by wearing dark eye shadow. Cameron typically wears band t-shirts or tank tops with either skinny jeans or shorts depending on the weather. She also wears multiple festival bands and band wristbands on her right arm.

On the day of her abduction Cameron was wearing a sky blue A Day to Remember Unicorn Killing Spree t-shirt that she's cut into a tank top with a Mastodon creature bandanna tied around her left wrist. On her lower body she was wearing a pair of blue distressed low cut jeans with dark blue floral pattern sneakers.

Biography: Cameron was born in Kingman, Arizona on the 18th of November 1997 to Brandon and Joanna Herrig. The result of a romantic Valentineís Day Cameron wasnít planned to happen when she did. Although since her parents had been thinking about trying for a baby they decided to have her.

With both her parents being musicians and having a passion for art many of Cameronís first memories involve music or art in some way. This quickly rubbed off on the young Cameron growing up as she spent most of her time either finger painting, playing with a toy guitar or playing with a toy T-Rex her parents bought her.

As Cameron grew older she started to put more time and effort into learning how to play the guitar and how to draw and paint. Her parents helped teach her both as she got older. This was helped by Brandon being a guitar tutor and Joanna being a well-known local artist. By the time she entered middle school Cameron was skilled at both. Cameron had never put much thought into playing in a band. Instead being perfectly happy to play by herself and write compositions. That changed once she entered high school however.

On the first day of high school Cameron met Vanessa Stone. The two quickly became inseparable and bonded over the fact they both played guitar. Even though both of them getting into music for very different reasons the two had a shared love for it and it didnít take long before Vanessa pitched the idea of forming a band. Despite never having any real interest in being in a band before Cameron quickly accepted and found that actually playing with others was a much more enjoyable and rewarding experience. The music collection her parents had accumulated over the years helped inspire and develop Cameronís love for all forms of music. With there being shelves and boxes packed with CDs, tapes and vinylís littering the house and basement. Her favourite genres are sludge metal, stoner rock and alternative rock and metal, with some of her favourite bands being Soundgarden, Mastodon, The Sword, Baroness and Kylesa.

Painting, drawing and photography were all things Cameron learned off Joanna and to a lesser extent Brandon. Her interest was helped by Joanna taking Cameron out into the desert with her whenever she went out to get inspiration. This also gave Cameron an appreciation for the desert surrounding Kingman as well as its natural life which is what she went on to focus her art on. Most of Cameronís drawing and paintings, when they arenít of the desert or wildlife tend to depict dinosaurs in either a prehistoric or modern setting sometimes being cartoony in style or more realistic. This is as a result of her ongoing interest in dinosaurs she has had since childhood. Some of her favourite movies are The Land Before Time and Jurassic Park. The reason she likes dinosaurs is that she thinks itís amazing that giant lizards could have also existed on Earth. Cameron frequently wishes she could see a real dinosaur but knows this is nothing but a fantasy. Her skill at art isnít as developed as her music but is still up to a high standard.

Cameronís interest in body painting started after seeing pictures on the internet. She found the art immediately striking and thought the medium offered a lot of creative potential. It immediately overtook her interests in drawing and regular painting. She still regularly practiced the other two but most of the time she put into art was devoted to learning the intricacies of body painting. She found it more difficult than regular painting but also found it much more interesting and rewarding. Once she got the hang of it she spent much of her time experimenting with different types of paint and different designs. It didnít take Cameron long to decide to mix her body painting with her musical performance. The idea she had being to combine her two biggest interests and also allow her to express herself more during performances.

After arriving in high school Cameron discovered BMX through some students she overheard talking. Interested in the idea of the sport Cameron started researching it and quickly became a fan. Seeing it as both a way to get around and have fun Cameron quickly decided to buy a BMX bike. She frequently uses her bike to get around. She also rides out into the desert whenever she wants to relax, be alone, do some nature photograph or just ride around. She also goes to the Desert Plains Skate Park every so often to practice her freestyle skills but she isnít serious or very committed to it.

Cameronís favourite classes are art and music. This is mainly due to her upbringing and passion for both subjects. While she is interested in biology and geography she is not committed enough in either of them. Cameronís least favourite classes are languages and maths both things she finds incredibly boring. When Cameron graduates she plans to follow Vanessa to Arizona State University to study art history. She has decided on art history because the idea of having to play in a studio band and being restricted with what she could perform and do didnít appeal to her. She hopes to keep Peyote Coyote going but is also prepared to start another band if she has to. Her grades at school also show this lack of commitment to anything but coasting by as her grades are good enough to get her into Arizona State, apart from art and music where she has been a straight A student since entering high school.

At school and outside of it Cameron spends most of her time with Vanessa, the two of them being nigh-inseparable. She also hangs around with the other members of the band. Generally she is friendly to most people she meets and talks to, but doesnít think much about what sheís saying and can wind up saying insulting or rude things for the purpose of making a joke. This has led to her offending people before. However despite this Cameron rarely talks about her home life in public, instead mainly confiding in people sheís close with and trusts.

Cameron's relationship with her parents was good at first. Despite her status as an unplanned child, her parents treated her well as she grew up and nurtured her and her hobbies. However around the age of fourteen cracks started to appear in her parentsí relationship. They began to argue more and threats of separation were made. Cameron having an understanding of what was going on retreated into herself keeping her anxiety and fear of the situation bottled up inside. Eventually Cameron resorted to self-harm as a form of release for all her negative feelings. After discovering this behavior following a call from one of Cameronís teachers; her parents eventually decided to stay together for their daughterís sake but the fear of her parents separating and the scars she gave herself have stayed with Cameron. After things being back to normal on the most part Brandon and Joannaís issues resurfaced near the end of high school. They started to argue more aggressively and eventually divorce was decided upon. Like the time before it Cameron has kept her feelings bottled up inside. Not giving any hint that anything is wrong despite the fact she is very stressed and anxious about what is happening internally. She has also become more distant from her parents as time has gone on. Preferring to spend her time at home shut in her room or alternatively spending as little time at home as possible.

Advantages: Cameron could potentially have a pre-existing group of allies thanks to the other members of her band being present within the game, meaning there is less impetus on her to try and gain allies. Cameron also has a degree of fitness others may not have thanks to time she has spent practicing BMX, this has also served to give her good reactions. Cameron also has good hand-eye coordination thanks to the countless hours she has spent playing guitar.
Disadvantages: Cameron has no filter when talking to people and doesnít care or think about anything she says. This could be detrimental to her on the island as she could say something at the wrong time and make an enemy or push a potential rival away. Another disadvantage is that the abduction has occurred at a very stressful time in her life and Cameron may not be able to handle the stress emotionally, potentially cause her to make rash or stupid decisions without thinking through the consequences.

New General SOTF Discussion Thread
I'd hope I've improved, I've done enough writing in the interim XD

To add some actual content it's too early to have any standouts this early I reckon, but you can totally have people your interested in.

Hypotenuse Murder Mystery Case
Jerry wasn't very convincing. The fact he was tripping over his words and trying hard not to look at her was a giveaway that he was lying. That and he practically ran out of the room. It was all kind of obvious.

Kimiko would have told him it was alright but all of her forms of communication required him to look at her. She felt slightly bad because Jerry was clearly taking his misstep hard. He was gone though so she couldn't assure him that it was only a little bit awkward. It was strange, almost like a trip back in time when people didn't know her. When she was the new kid from Asia who couldn't speak. People had been curious at first and she'd been a novelty. That was a long time ago though.

Soon she would be leaving high school and almost everyone she knew behind and heading off to college...where she guessed she'd have to go through the whole introduction process again. That would be interesting. As Kimiko went to leave she noticed that Jerry had dropped his copy of Suicide Squad. She picked it up and quickly flicked through the pages, it would be fine for some fun reading. She tucked it safely in her bag. Jerry could have it back next lesson.

((Kimiko Kao continued in Cruising and Perusing))

Hypotenuse Murder Mystery Case
Finally the bell rang granting Kimiko her freedom for Mrs Brown's class, something she was extremely grateful for. The amount she valued her lunch was far greater because of the class. Trigonometry would do that to you. It really made Kimiko appreciate people who actually enjoyed math, because they would have to deal with stuff like that all the time if they picked it as a degree. She inwardly shivered at the thought. It sounded horrific.

She was packing her things and preparing to make her way out when she heard Jerry call out. It took her a second to realise that he was talking to her. It was surprising; they never really spoke at all. She stopped and moved forward to where he was sitting. He had slumped almost all the way down his chair like some sort of melting person.

Oh. He was asking her why she hadn't spoken to get his attention and why she never talked much. Ohhhhh. That was awkward. Kimiko was caught off-guard by the fact Jerry apparently wasn't aware she was mute. She had thought it was common knowledge among her classmates. After all she was probably the only mute person in the entire grade. It was kind of embarrassing to be openly questioned about it again. She'd already been through it once when she'd first got to high school. To have to explain herself to a classmate in their senior year wasn't pleasant.

She held up her index finger in a way that said 'one sec' as she rooted through her pocket for her iPhone. She unlocked it with a quick slide of her finger and pressed the button for the notes widget. She'd moved it onto the dock for easy access; it was a necessity for her in terms of communication. Quickly tapping in the words Kimiko turned the screen round to face Jerry when she was done.

I'm mute. Physical injury.

Hypotenuse Murder Mystery Case
Oh, he was reading Suicide Squad; it was alright. Although it couldn't hold a candle to Secret Six, something it was obviously trying to imitate. It was just average, which was both a compliment and criticism. Compared to some of DC's line-up it was fine but put it up there with the best of their current crop and it paled in comparison.

Unfortunately getting the answer to her question meant that Kimiko had to go back to paying attention to Mrs Brown, who was busy giving a drier lecture than the Saharan Desert. There was only so long Kimiko could stand to listen about triangles and how to figure out their angles. It didn't look like there was long left in the class though. That was good, lunch was next and Kimiko could go and meet up with some of her friends and chill out.

All she had to do was make it through the final few minutes. Her mind started to wonder, thinking ahead to when the next new releases were coming out and if there was anything in them she was interested in. If she had her dates right the new issue of Saga was supposed to be out either this week or the next. That would be one she needed to pick up. Saga was always good quality; it reminded her that she'd have to check when the next issue of East of West was coming out. That was something to do during lunch or when she got home.

She glanced up at the clock. There was still time left in the class. Kimiko sighed; it even like time was trying to keep her stuck in a world of sides and angles.

Walt Esiason
Deamon
Apr 26 2015, 09:55 PM
First up, as hobbies and interests is a list only the first one needs to be capitalized.

Quote:
 
Besides his love for basketball, Walt also still likes pro-wrestling, and his favorite wrestlers tend to be the flashy and arrogant types who can still prove they are capable ring talents to add to their bragging, such as Dolph Ziggler.
Another run-on sentence.

There's no information about who he hangs out with at school and in his free time, or what he's like around them. I'd like this to be put in the profile, since socializing is a big part of teenage life.
^Those things have not been done.

You've not actually said how he felt when he first got friends either, just what he did with them. Which is different.

If he was fighting people off the school grounds, other kids would still be aware of it. So did he get a reputation due to that? Because something like a fight will be talked about, especially if it involves the same kid as before.

Also "he mostly writes just to write" is a copout of a reason to enjoy writing. There must be a reason he enjoys writing that makes him want to write. Is it the act of creating a story or something else?

Cover all of those points and I'll take another look at Walt.

Asher Glas
And I can safely say you're in buddy.

APPROVED

Asher Glas
Close Naf but you forgot to add in what Asher's relationship with his brother is like.

(Parental relationship stuff is fine where it is btw.)