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RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia Game Thread
EWOP: Halleloo bitch

RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia Game Thread
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RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia Game Thread
Empress Plush
Apr 29 2016, 05:53 AM
Eyyyy well this phase is over, because I'm the Hated and it only takes one vote to kill me. So I'll just get cozy with my vodka and wait for death, it's been real~
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RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia Game Thread
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Just like that.


But also Unvote.

Vote: Empress Plush

This ain't all-stars bitch.

Can't let someone else carry you like you're Alexis Mateo.

Can I get a halleloo up in here?

RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia Game Thread
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Halleloo girl you better get control of yourself.

RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia Game Thread
Slam, may I call you Jiggly?

RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia Game Thread
Oh yeah I have my role too, halleloo

RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia Game Thread
Halleloo, ladies lets do this.

VOTE: RC

For not voting.

Smoke On Her Face
Looking back maybe apologizing there and then hadn't been the best choice. Cameron probably could have waited until it was just her and Vanessa, that way at least everyone else would have been spared her best friends outburst. The issue with the whole thing wasn't that Vanessa was wrong, the way she had gone about things was. It would have been hypocritical for Cameron to bring up the handling of a situation though considering how she had gone about inviting Coleen into the group. That was a real pot calling the kettle black stuff.

As it so happened Vanessa flipped out and swore at her a lot before leaving her house. Cameron flinched with nearly every word Vanessa said, her friends voice growing louder and angrier with each sentence until eventually she launched a curse at Cameron before disappearing up the stairs and out the door.

Silence reigned for what felt like an eon after Vanessa's dramatic exit.

In actuality it was probably about three seconds.

Cameron wanted to run. Every instinct and fibre of her being was screaming at her to get out of the basement. Where could she run too though? Vanessa was gone.

Taking a couple of deep breaths Cameron looked around the room, gauging the atmosphere. It wasn't great. She slowly swallowed before speaking, trying her hardest not to let her voice tremble.

"I...I'll talk to her later." She wasn't exactly successful. "She'll get over it." The second part was more for her own personal benefit.

Her attention turned more to Coleen, whose first meeting with the rest of the band had become a complete disaster.

"We could still jam a bit as long as you still want to stay." She offered up a weak smile. There was no way it reached her eyes.

Dimani Carter
Hey OnceForgotten! I'm Deamon and I'll be critiquing Dimani for you today! Dimani is Denied pending some fairly major adjustments to keep him in line with the correct tone of profile and the acceptable levels of realism we like to maintain. I'll explain more over the course of the critique.

First up in regards to the tone we like to keep in profiles, while they all should be written as if some lowly terrorist grunt is doing it we prefer to not go overly formal with it, specifically with regards to calling the charater subject and this part: 'The following paragraphs were obtained and abbreviated from counselor’s notes taken during face to face meetings with the subject at Cochise High School and Kingman:'. Ideally we want a profile to be an explanation of the students life with a focus on key events, their hobbies and interests and school.

Something like these profiles:
Example 1
Example 2

These both do a good job showing the style and tone we want from profiles, so if you rewrite Dimani's to be similar to these it will be a big step in the right direction.


Now for the second major issue which is the realism of the profile in regards to Dimani's very dramatic personal life.

There are a few issues here that we'll go over one at a time.

You state in the profile that Dimani didn't get removed from his ridiculously neglectful home because there was no signs of abuse. This wouldn't be a relevant issue in Arizona as child protection services are able to remove a child from a household that is deemed to be neglectful in a harmful way to the child's well-being. So that's one flaw with it right there, Dimani would have been removed from the house before anything else even had a chance to happen.

The level of neglect seems fairly ridiculous as well considering child protection services would probably be monitoring the situation or if they aren't the school would probably report it again if it continues. On the whole I'd like this entire scenario toned down and made much more realistic.

Now onto the Anthony/Mother drama, this is where the profile really becomes problematic.

Dimani discovers the dead body of his mothers boyfriend who his brother shot in the head and then his brother explains he did it because the guy had been buying drugs off him and was sleeping with their mother and then their mother returns and his brother and mother proceed to have a fight which while in the process of trying to break the fight up Dimani breaks his arm. Oh and this was after his brother came back from prison where he had managed to obtain an addiction to crack cocaine.

Do you see how crazy that all is written out like that? It's also one of the biggest parts of the entire profile. We spend so much time on this incident and how neglected Dimani was a child that we don't find out anything about him personally until the last paragraph of his own profile!

Basically this whole thing is going to need to be majorly rewritten as right now it's just too much of everything. I'd like you to tone down the level of everything, it's perfectly acceptable for Anthony to disapprove of Lucille dating again and getting into a physical altercation with her boyfriend and that leads to them moving away from him. But him becoming a drug dealer, going to prison and then coming back to kill people is kinda crazy.

I'd also like much more focus on Dimani's life, since it's his profile after all.

Now some general questions regarding parts of the final paragraph.

Quote:
 
He is generally mistrusting of other individuals, as it has been his experience that people will attempt to take advantage of him.
When has this happened?

Quote:
 
People that befriend Dimani find a kind-hearted and quietly intelligent young man who has a strict home-grown moral code ripped from the ‘game’ that he knew growing up, as well as an unalterable sense of right and wrong.
This seems like a confusing thing to base your life off, especially when your crack addict brother shots a man because of it.

Why does he want to be a rapper and what does he enjoy about rap?

I'd like more detail on his weight-lifting and boxing hobbies as right now they come across as an afterthought and only seem to be in the profile to justify using them for his advantages. We like to see around a paragraph per hobby as general rule, give or take based on how important it is to them.

Right that should be it for this round, don't be afraid to PM me if you need any help, since let's be real its a lot of changes but I'm sure you'll be able to do it. Post back here when you've made the edits and I'll give Dimani another look!

General Video Game Discussion Thread
Hey Paradox fans, they're making a 4X Grand Strategy space game where apparently you can in fact open a hole into the warp and there is a chance of a machine uprising if you actually use that research.

It sounds cool as fuck and is called Stellaris

RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia Sign-Up Thread
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Friends are neat
Kimiko is captain of the gymnastics team and is passionate about a lot of human rights stuff, also she hates bullies, which is always nice.

New General SOTF Discussion Thread
There we go XD

New General SOTF Discussion Thread
Plost twist?

Sting Like A Stingray
Trav's right hand shot down and across his body to catch the kick. He raised Jerry's leg up and scythed out his left leg to kick Jerry's standing leg out from under him.

Who the fuck threw out a side kick anyway? From punching distance no less. Trav would have questioned if Jerry thought he was Saenchai but well...yeah Jerry.

Dumping Jerry on his ass wasn't the friendliest thing to do (it was a Saenchai favorite though), but at the same time they were kickboxing and that could happen. It would be better for him in the long run, a lesson he would be able to apply to his next-ah who was he kidding. Jerry probably wasn't going to learn shit.

As Trav stepped back to let Jerry stand he considered whether or not he was being too harsh on the other boy. He didn't want to make him feel bad; Trav was just disappointed. He had heard all Jerry's talk and had expected something a bit more than he was being given. Jerry seemed able to match him in speed and reflexes but in terms of technique and fight IQ? Trav appeared to have a sizable advantage there. It was an important thing to consider as well. If everything was relatively even then the more thoughtful fighter was more likely to win.

They weren't fighting though, so Trav was more than happy to step back and let Jerry get up.

He held out his fist for a glove touch before they resumed.

Proper etiquette and all that shit.

New General SOTF Discussion Thread
Spoiler: click to toggle

Roots of Jade
There were things that could be done or said that would have aptly summarized Kimiko's mood. Sadly there was a limit to how much she allowed herself to vocalise and it was becoming clear that Bradley and Isaac were messing with them for the sake of it.

Kimiko knew better than to fight a battle she couldn't win. It annoyed her that she would have to concede to people like Bradley and Isaac especially after them making fun of the fact she couldn't talk. But the truth was some people were just-

Oh, they were having 'fun'.

Making jokes about her disability was 'fun'.

Ignorance was a funny thing. Kimiko had been surprised reading about how ignorant some people were but had always assumed it was some detached thing she would never have to deal with. As things stood it looked like she had been wrong.

Kimiko took a breath before turning to Clarice.

"I think it's worth pointing out I can't actually speak, so making fun of that was a dick move. Aside from that maybe we should just carry on bowling? Don't want them to ruin our day."

Sometimes you had to know when to quit and that time had come.