Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
DealsFor.me - The best sales, coupons, and discounts for you
Hypotenuse Murder Mystery Case
The plan had been going fine, she had gotten Jerry's attention and he'd turned round. But then someone else threw some paper because of reasons and he turned back around. It was annoying and one of the times Kimiko really wished she could speak. It would have been so much easier to just whisper to him and ask what he was reading. She didn't have that option though. Instead she had to jump through a load of extra hoops just to ask a simple question. She frowned and rested her head on her hand as she went back to watching the board.

Mrs Brown had turned around at the sound of Jerry moving but was back to writing about Trigonometry. Kimiko sighed. There was no way she could get Jerry's attention again without there being an issue. Mrs Brown also wasn't a teacher you wanted thinking you were messing around. She was the strictest teacher in the school bar none. If she thought you were messing around you were gone. So it was better for Kimiko in the long run to just give up.

She was still interested in what Jerry was reading though which left her in the awkward spot of occasionally glancing down to see if she could get a peak. It just made it seem like she was looking at his ass. Not something she wanted anything to do with. It looked like DC, since it seemed to be in their more weighty art style, but the style of the art wasn't a reliable way of telling unless it was unique to a certain series. That was due to the way artists seemed to be shuffled on and off books by the big companies. Kimiko sighed again. She wished she had a comic she could read.

Hypotenuse Murder Mystery Case
((Kimiko Kao, start))

If there was one thing Kimiko had always wanted to set the record straight on, it was the whole Asians are good at math stereotype. East Asians to be specific, so in most people’s eyes that was the Japanese and the Chinese. A group she unfortunately fell into due to being from Taiwan. Specifically Chinese, something she hated and didn't like being called, she identified herself as Taiwanese and wanted to be called that. But she was getting off her point; the stereotype was annoying and incorrect, like most stereotypes. It was just a cultural difference putting greater importance on achievement in school that made it seem like East Asians were magically all good at math without putting work in. Ignoring the fact they studied hard to be good at their classes.

For her part Kimiko was not good at math. It wasn't her favorite subject and she had to put major work into it to maintain her grade. It annoyed her when people assumed she just walked into class every day and already knew everything. For example trigonometry, most people tended to just zone out and forget that there was only a set answer things could be. All the interior angles of a triangle added up to 180 degrees, so once you got two it was basic subtraction to get the third. The functions were just ways to get you there.

Regardless Kimiko was "good" at math. That was why she had no choice but to face palm when Jerry spoke up in front of her. Jerry was alright but he was loud and obnoxious quite often. The issue wasn't that he was asking a question. She wasn't that bitchy. It was how pointless it was. He didn't actually ask a question...and did he have a comic on his lap. That was more interesting than Mrs. Brown’s class. Now she just had to see what it was. It was more awkward for her since she couldn't actually speak. Instead Kimiko had to resort to that age old trick of ripping a corner of your paper off. Crumpling it into a ball she aimed at the back of Jerry's head and threw, hoping her time playing basketball growing up wouldn't let her down.

Sandra Dyer
APPROVED

NAFT'S character dump
Super bitter enemies sounds good to me.

Are Friends Tasty?
Imehal
Apr 24 2015, 02:10 AM
Deamon
 
Kimiko probably knows Bernadette through gymnastics and any anti-bullying related stuff. They'd probably get on quite well, since Bernadette both are friendly people.

Having read Kimiko, I agree one hundred percent. I think they’d get along really well and have probably been friends for a while. I think Bernadette might have learnt sign language to a reasonable capacity given that she likes to be able to do things with her hands, and Kimiko seems to prefer that level of communication at times. Sound good?

Also, Bernadette likes to confront bullies. Not sure how Kimiko deals with them?
Kimiko has no problems confronting bullies.

Sandra Dyer
There's still nothing about which classes she likes and dislikes so if you could add that in Sandra can be approved.

Sandra Dyer
Hey Condor, Sandra is looking good but is DENIED pending some changes.

What year was Sandra? I'm assuming 97 since she's 18 but it doesn't actually say so in the profile.

Twin tails should be two words.

Quote:
 
she engages in friendly teasing, but is willing to lend a hand to them whenever they need it.
Quote:
 
around the time she entered middle school, she felt that it wasn't enough.
Quote:
 
and by the end of middle school, she had settled on two other extracurricular activities

It's good to have why Sandra enjoys track and field but there's nothing about why she likes tennis. So I'd like that to be included.

Why does Sandra like skateboarding? I'd assume its because of the speed and energy involved going off her profile but some clarification would be good. Also does she prefer a particular style of skateboarding like street or vert etc.

As for guitar does she like any particular genres or does she play whatever she likes the sound of and is she taking lessons or just learning at home off the internet?

Is there a particular reason she likes stand-up comedy besides it being funny? Does she enjoy the observations about everyday life or are there other reasons?

Quote:
 
Sandra isn't the type to fool around during class, but she doesn't spend much effort to excel at the classes.
This sentence is awkwardly worded and could do with being rewritten.

We need more information about what classes she enjoys and which ones she dislikes when it comes to her school life.

For Sandra's scholarship does she have preference for which college she goes to or is it a case of her taking whatever offers she gets?

What you've got for her social life is fine but a little bit more detail about how she acts around her friends would be good.

So just add those bits in and I'll give her another look.

Vincenzo Gatti
APPROVED

Vincenzo Gatti
Hey Elena

Vinny is looking good, all you need to do is make sure only the first hobby/interest is capitalized and the others are in lowercase.

Walt Esiason
Alright lets do this.

First up, as hobbies and interests is a list only the first one needs to be capitalized.

Quote:
 
Walt isn't easy to miss.
Change this to "Walt is hard to miss." as it reads much better. Also could you describe Walt's mouth for me.

For the section about Walt living with his grandparents there's nothing about how Walt felt about this. Right now all we know that he stayed at his grandparents.

Quote:
 
While not bullied for his weight, considering he was a lot bigger compared to most of his classmates, Walt was still very self-conscious and often felt excluded, especially when it came to gym class and recess.
This sentence is a pretty big run-on and could do with being split into two.

There's a bit of a continuity snag with the bit about his dad taking him to the park. As you state at the end of previous paragraph Walt kept his interest in basketball and pro-wrestling to himself but the way the next paragraph is worded implies that his dad knows about it. So when did he tell his dad and why? Or did his dad find out? Some clarification here would be good.

How did Walt find having friends? Since it would have been one of the first times he's had proper friends from the sound of it.

As for Walt's fighting were there any other repercussions for this behavior? Like did his dad punish him? Did the school or police ever get involved? Did he get a reputation about this sort of thing? These are all things that can result from getting in fights.

Quote:
 
Besides his love for basketball, Walt also still likes pro-wrestling, and his favorite wrestlers tend to be the flashy and arrogant types who can still prove they are capable ring talents to add to their bragging, such as Dolph Ziggler.
Another run-on sentence.

jow should be how.

Some detail on which classes Walt likes and dislikes would also help to flesh out his school life outside of basketball and English. Another thing that needs expanding is how does writing make Walt feel? Does he enjoy the creative side or does he enjoy it for more personal reasons? Also what electives does he take? Since it sounds like he's good at them.

There's no information about who he hangs out with at school and in his free time, or what he's like around them. I'd like this to be put in the profile, since socializing is a big part of teenage life.

Quote:
 
He doesn't spend as much time with his dad as he used to,

Quote:
 
and he will be willing to call on people's threats and bluffs.
Reads better as "he will be willing to call people on their threats and bluffs."

In general there needs to be more detail on how a lot of the things mentioned in the profile effected Walt because right now its more a list of events and things Walt likes. So do all that for me and I'll give Walt another look.

Walt Esiason
Hey Unpy!

Before I give Walt a proper critique can you remove the line between advantages and disadvantages. Cheers.

Kimiko Kao
Edited again homie.

Kimiko Kao
Edited her up.

Kimiko Kao
Name: Kimiko Kao
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Grade: Senior
School: Cochise High School
Hobbies and Interests: Politics with a specific interest in Taiwan, Taiwanization, gymnastics, comic books, basketball, collecting basketball jerseys, Baguazhang.

Appearance: Kimiko is 5'3½" and weighs 110lbs with her weight evenly distributed over her lean body. Kimiko's skin tone is a fair brown while her face is circular with a thin nose and mouth as well as wide eyes and small ears. Kimiko originally had long black hair but she had it cut into an A-line bob and bleached it light blonde after moving to America. Normally Kimiko wears form-fitting t-shirts of either the long-sleeved or short sleeved variety or tank-tops, with either skinny jeans or skirts depending on the weather. She also wears a red Taoist charm necklace and two bracelets. One with regular beads and a small carved piece of wood with freedom written on in Taiwanese and another made of jade beads.

On the day of her abduction Kimiko was wearing a women’s Minnesota Timberwolves light blue road jersey with a white Under Amour long sleeve top underneath. She was also wearing a dark wash mini denim skirt as well as taupe knitted knee socks with brown suede flat ankle boots and her necklace and bracelets.

Biography: Kimiko was born in Taoyuan City, Taoyuan, Taiwan on the 31st of October 1998 to Jesse Kao and Jody Yeh. Unfortunately while Kimiko was a healthy baby her initial refusal to feed led to an accident occurring when a nurse attempted to insert a feeding tube into her mouth. This accident caused permanent damage to her larynx resulted in Kimiko losing her ability to speak. For the first few years her parents remained at their apartment in Taoyuan City, but after Kimiko's fourth birthday they realised they would have to move to Tainan City. This was so that she could learn Taiwanese Sign Language at the National Tainan School for the Deaf so she could communicate. In a show of solidarity her parents also learned TSL so they could communicate with their daughter without speaking.

The choice was made to move to Tainan City because it was both the closest city with a school that taught TSL and had the most Taoist temples of any city in Taiwan. This was important to Kimiko's parents since they are both practicing Taoists and wanted to be able to continue their religious practice. Growing up in a Taoist household made Kimiko's choice of religion easy but before she settled with Taoism she looked at a few different options such as Buddhism and Christianity to get a larger view of religious practice. Her families practice of Taoism meant frequent trips to the temple and the practice of Baguazhang with her mother, something they do every morning.

As Kimiko grew older she started to learn more about Taiwan’s history and culture. Her parents, being very pro-Taiwanese independence and keen supporters of both Taiwanization and the Pan-Green Coalition; specifically the Taiwan Solidarity Union took it upon themselves to ensure that she learned about her homeland as much as possible. This has led to Kimiko taking on and gaining very strong views about Taiwanese independence and human rights.

From the age of five Kimiko has been practicing gymnastics. This first started as an easy way for her parents to get her to meet other children and gain life skills as well as keep her physically healthy. As Kimiko grew up however she started to see it as more of way to express herself beyond what she was capable of with just facial expressions and sign language alone. Kimiko has now been practicing gymnastics for twelve years with the only major break being when she moved from Taiwan to America. Shortly after settling in however she quickly picked it back up.

Growing up in Taiwan Kimiko's other main sporting interest was going to be either baseball or basketball as both were national sports. Kimiko first tried taking part in a game of baseball and found it to be extremely boring. Soon after she decided basketball was much more exciting than the more static baseball and followed it more closely. As an additional hobby Kimiko collects the jerseys of NBA teams and will sometimes wear them around school or everyday life.

When Kimiko was thirteen her father was offered a job working for a subsidiary of Praxair located in Kingman, Arizona; with the pay being much better and the prospects of promotion much higher, he accepted. This led to Kimiko finding her family packing up to move to the USA. Due to the timing Kimiko arrived halfway through middle school and as such had to make all new friends. This turned out to be easier than Kimiko thought because she had learned English at school in Taiwan and she was seen as something of a novelty coming from Asia and being unable to talk. As soon as she arrived she was put into classes for American Sign Language so that she could communicate in her preferred form.

Shortly after arriving in America, Kimiko discovered comic books for the first time. She had seen manga in Taiwan but the lack of colour had turned her away from the medium, whereas comic books in America were full of colour and larger than life characters. Kimiko became interested in them after buying one out of curiosity and soon started regularly buying them. She was drawn to characters like X-23 and the X-Men because they were viewed as outsiders and Kimiko sometimes felt like an outsider when she first arrived in America. This interest has expanded to include The Runaways and an odd mixture of DC and Image including Secret Six, Batwoman and Birds of Prey from DC, and Saga, Chew and East of West from Image.

In contrast to her original feelings of being an outsider Kimiko has developed into a very outgoing person out of a desire to not let her disability control her life. She communicates using sign language, body language or notes out of a refusal to use electronic assistance. She is very friendly around most people but is very outspoken about her views on politics and doesn't tolerate bullying. Even though she has moved to America she is still extremely passionate about Taiwanese independence and human rights. She joined Amnesty International shortly after settling in to life in America. Some days however Kimiko can be very quiet, withdrawn and grumpy due to not wanting to have to deal with her disability or just wanting to be able to sit and sign with someone else and can get frustrated when people don't understand her.

At school Kimiko’s favourite classes are law, world history and languages. The reason for this is that law and world history have a large influence on politics which she is deeply interested in. Her love of languages comes from learning multiple languages as she grew up. Even though Kimiko puts extra effort into those subjects she still tries hard in her other classes as well. This is reflected in her GPA of 3.65 which Kimiko hopes to improve upon so that she can go to college to study international politics. She also hopes her knowledge of languages will make her more likely to be accepted into college.

Kimiko's relationship with her parents is very strong thanks to the support they give her in every aspect of her life. They regularly worship at home together or talk in TSL with Kimiko about her day. Kimiko and her father regularly go to basketball games together and she practices Baguazhang with her mother in the morning every day as a form of Taoist practice, something she enjoys mainly as a meditative exercise. Both her parents also travel with her to any meets she attends for gymnastics so they can support her. Kimiko's performance in these meets is of a good enough standard to see her place quite often, although the question of whether she wants to pursue gymnastics competitively at college and beyond has started to come up. This is an issue for Kimiko because while she does dream of representing Taiwan at the Olympics she is unsure of whether or not the impact on her studies will be too great.

Advantages: Kimiko is in very good physical shape due to her participation in gymnastics as well as her practice of Baguazhang. This would be to her advantage during the course of SOTF because she would have more stamina and be more effective in physical activities than her fellow classmates. Her outgoing nature and friendliness could also help her gain allies on the island. Thanks to her inability to speak Kimiko has learned how to be expressive through the use of facial expressions and body language. This has also given her an understanding of the body language of others as well which she could use to her advantage on the island.
Disadvantages: Kimiko is a mute and therefore communication for her will be very difficult if not impossible in specific cases which could hinder her in high tension situations or if she is trying to gain someone’s trust. She is also less likely to take aggressive action due to her religious beliefs. Despite this Kimiko would be likely to try and help someone in need which could lead to her putting herself in dangerous situations which she could have avoided.

Bryony Adams
APPROVED

Bryony Adams
Hey Pippin. I'mma be looking over your profile.

Bryony is Temporarily Denied pending some small grammatical edits to help make the profile read better.

Quote:
 
Her pale skin and lack of any real muscles to speak of being a by-product

Quote:
 
Her recent attempts to socialise more have led to her being outside more often,

Quote:
 
; Bryony owned several art books and sketch pads,

Quote:
 
To her delight, the results were very positive.

Quote:
 
She also does well in English and History,


Just make those changes and Bryony should be good to go.

Friends and stuff
Kimiko could put up with that if she knew that was just the way he is. Plus anyone that takes the time to learn to sign with her and talk comix is ok in her book.

Cameron gets on with anyone pretty much so would be friends with Kat yeah.

Are Friends Tasty?
Kimiko probably knows Bernadette through gymnastics and any anti-bullying related stuff. They'd probably get on quite well, since Bernadette both are friendly people.


Yet Another Friend Thread
They'd probably have known each other since the beginning of high school and I'm game for the secret crush thing.

*flies through the gates of oblivion with characters*
For Vincenzo/Vincenza I think Cameron would know him through Brady and I think they'd get on well what with her being chill aside from talking absolute shit sometimes. Aside from that it looks like it could be a good friendship. Plus she plays guitar gud so...

Maybe Faith-Hope will know him through the whole streaming video games thing? Not entirely sure.

Don't think Trav and Kimiko would really know him to be honest.


As far as Noodle is concerned, Trav will totally know her if she does any sort of MMA training. He trains as much as he can and also shares the dream of fighting for money as a career, so they've probably bonded over that...when he's not busy being a total goof. He's also bros 4 lyfe with Rod.

Kimiko might know her and might tell her to ease up on the studying but it may be difficult given she can't talk and all.

Can't think of anything for Cameron or Faith-Hope.