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Club/Team Masterpost
Eli
Football [MLB i guesss], Activism, Volunteering

Jaclyn
ASL, Anime, Fashion

Randomness' Relationship Request Room 2017
My characters are in need of a slight overhaul since their concepts have moved a bit since ive started, but i haven't actually written those changes down, but welp.

@Cic YES.

Emily:

Beryl+Emily is a borderline powderkeg and I love the idea of Emily just fuming at Beryl being happy, while Beryl just doesn't get why Ems is so dour.

Charelle. I' d think Emily might be judgey of her as a party girl and is likely to be generally abrasive towards her from the outset. She's basically a bad partner if she doesn't like the other people, and would grudgingly do everything by herself regardless of what the other person thinks. Zero communication group projects are the best kind anyway.

Gyu-ri is one of those people who she simultaneously respects and is jealous of. She's pretty anti-drug, partially from parent's influence, and she'd be all no thanks to any stimulants, legal or otherwise. But the fact that they are more stable in some ways despite doing things that she disapproves of is something that would make Emily really jealous. But if they've been friends long, I'd say Emily would still stick around as a friend, because on some level, Emily has a combined sense of responsibility to help her out, and a sense of superiority when she can.

Eli:
He can def be a spotter+fitness/debate partner for Beryl. Not sure how much they'd talk outside the gym, but debate session while pumping iron sounds like fun.

Joanne is definitely the kind of person Eli can't handle anyway. Maybe they met in activism and got along fine, but slowly realise the ugly side of each other? Or they could gotten into a bloody heated argument. Whichever one works better for you.

Jaclyn:
Mmn, Jaclyn is basically happy to be with anyone who supports their general uncertainty in their state of being. I think they'd be pretty confused at why someone they see as pretty popular is talking with them, and crushing might totally happen depending on how they interact. I can totally see them rambling badly at Charelle, and hoping that she'd actually reply with something substantive, and somehow being disappointed every time.

The V1 Read-A-Thon
Cillian Crowe is lazy writing and I really don't like him. The profile is not the greatest start, from how the descriptions are overly lavish in how they describe him, to the fact that the clothing desccription starts "Clothing wise, Cillian hasn't had much luck".

His back story is just a mishmash of tragic things that focus on some potentially demonic creature called "Haddy". He suddenly becomes your classic creepy child who starts doing more and more creepy things. His parents (always called "the foster parents" in the profile) leave him 10 miles away from home in an attempt to leave him behind. Apparently, they could only spare their lunch break for this and wanted an actual lunch on the way back, because 10 miles? Really?

Anyway Cillian takes months to get back home, probably having some wacky murder adventures along the way (ten miles?), and decides to kill his parents. With them dead, he was sent to Arkham Asylum with unethical psychiatrists(?) unable to diagnose him(?). Also somehow they had let him grow long nails and couldn't get them cut short, because he would claw people with them.

I'm not going to give Cillian a story summary, because I've actually forgotten most of it despite having just finished reading him. His kills blur together, the overwrought childish mannerisms, the weird mood, tone, tense whiplashes, make Cillain bland and difficult. In every horror movie, there tends to be at least one death that stands out by being either ridiculous or well executed, but Cillian feels monotonous in quality throughout. There's no motivation for murder beyond the voice in his head, there's some mild strain of paranoia, but it never does anything beyond trying (and failing) to pull at heartstrings for his treatment by the psychiatrists.

There are a few flashbacks, in blue on the blue background of invisionfree, but these are generally paint-by-numbers affairs, as if someone was pulling ideas out of a list of things that belong in a tragic backstory. Authoritarian father, men in labcoats, child abuse, things thst might work but placed where it is, admist Cillain's story, feels like a gross mismatch.

What makes things worse is that I can see glimmers of good writing in Cillian. But the fact is, when it comes down to it, there's really nothing that elevates Cillian beyond a simple stereotype of a madman. He's not even fun in his madness, and he is often too predictable in his next move (it's always murder).

One more.

The V1 Read-A-Thon
Elise's profile isn't bad, but it's still not great. That said this is the first v1 profile I've fully read, so take this with a grain of salt. Her appearance notes that people tell her that her hair is pretty, that she's plump but not fat, and how she wears black but isn't goth.

She's both poor but elitist, a combination that I honestly think is an interesting start for a character, but it's also coupled with androphobia/misandry, because she was bullied by boys before transferring to an all-girls school, an issue which I thoroughly assume is going to be explored in a manner that such a complex subject deserves. She's also an exchange student and has a reputation of having "an appreciation of violence", which I assume is v1 profile code for "likes beating shit up".

Elise playes out with more nuance than I expect, though she's surprisingly aware of what's going on. There's an offhanded statement about sorta knowing how guns work from video games, but you know Elise, World of Guns: Gun Disassembly only came out in 2014, so how well do you really know guns?

As she tests the gun, she notices one Peri Barclay, who is turning this into a holdup. He just wants the gun, and she starts out indignant, but turns fearful when he notes that he's already killed someone. As a note, as far as I've parsed his first post, he only found a body, but I actually can't make heads or tails of it. (Note from me from the future: he's a lying liar who lyingly lies and this becomes important later)

In any case, Elise makes this a strong scene, and if Peri's writing was better, she would be a recommendation from this scene alone. But once he actually robs her, Peri offers her a cigarette and an alliance, tossing her weapon back to her. From this point on, they work as an awkward duo, Peri being a dick in a way that seems more fitting for a forty year old than a sixteen year old kid, with Elise slowly realising that Peri's ideas are designed to keep him safe, and not her.

Later on, their time at the lookout point is interrupted by the arrival of Stevan, and he joins the group, leading Elise to become more paranoid about the two of them ganging up on her. As they enter the small house, she runs off with the gun that Peri had offered her earlier. She thinks she's okay, when Peri, who was chasing her this whole time, catches up. He shoots her in the legs, taking his gun back and leaves her for dead.

Somehow, she makes it to the hospital where the Doddsquad comes upon her. They are about to help her, when a gunfight breaks out due to the definitely coincidental arrivals, Stevan and Peri (Jacob was there too but he matters little to Elise's story). Most of them run and leave Elise, who is unable to follow. Stevan tortures her for a bit, before Peri interrupts them to stop Stevan, but in a confusing move, he tosses her back to Stevan who kills her.

In all, I think Elise is worth a read. Slight minus for having to suffer through the combined grammatical wreck that Peri and Stevan are and her voicework is inconsistent, but she has an interesting path, which is very self contained, as well as several interesting ideas, though many of which are never explored as much as I'd like. Her death thread is the main flaw in an otherwise strong character. The gunfight is largely skippable if you are reading her as she posts only once during it, but really, shame on the Doddsquad for leaving her behind.

Give me another kid that I can procrastinate on.