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The V2 Read-o-thon

Boogie has given up his twin, I forget which, to Yugi who will now do her read.

Play With Me
I've already agreed to provide Jonah as fellow hard working, bad mom friend and Laurie as horrible cold porridge puddle to dislike Aviva.

The V1 Read-A-Thon

We’re blessed. ANOTHER 11 years. But thanks for the kind words and for writing an enjoyable kid! (#jeremyshouldhavebeeninendgame)

I made a mistake, delete plz.

Death Game ni Youkoso!

Jonah has a crush on Megan, I'm gonna court you.

*Insert Witty Title Here*
Hi. I am relationship shopping and you are my FIRST STOP. I think Sung might make a good casual friend for Jonah. He's a happy guy and likes mostly tinkering with cars, but could help in some experiments and is similarly a laid back person.

Laurie might make a good study partner for Alexis in that she similarly hates people and really wants to get ahead via good grades for a good college, but Alexis might have to have some patience for her whining about how much she hates certain people.

v7+ concepts
These concepts look really cool so far!

Spoiler: click to toggle

The V5 Read-A-Thon
Hello, I decided to take a break from the V1 read o thon do to this.

So Ian's profile is that of a fairly normal teenager with some interests. The most important ones are graffiti and old movies. It says he's really calm and gets along well with people. Not much of note. Onward.

He only has one pregame thread. Ian comes to the park and spray paints a cat on a wall. Pretty much everyone ignores this act. He goes and speaks to Arthur, Miranda, Kathryn and Joshua who never made it to game. I made an executive decision to skip/skim any Joshua posts over 1,000 words long because the kids are just talking in a park. Sorry, Nic.

Honestly, the ones I remember the most from this sequence are Miranda and Arthur. They steal the show character-wise. Ian is there and ends up going to breakfast with Joshua, Arthur and Kathryn. He tells some jokes that I don't think are funny, but seem like the kind of thing a teenager would say so it makes sense. Forward ho.

Ian wakes up on the island for the second time. He woke up once, decided that there was no point in getting up if he didnt know where he was going to go, and went back to sleep. I think he's sleeping partly in a shallow pool of sea water since his pants are wet, so he could have moved a little.

In due time James and Kathryn appear and shortly after Venice and Amy. James has a Clue board game for a weapon and the crew proceeds to spend one and a half pages just talking about Clue. James has never heard of Clue until now and Amy is getting more concerned about like, the death island thing.

As we go on it becomes clear that Ian feels nothing about being on this island. He just plain doesn't give a shit.


"You're all freaked about staying alive but there's no one in this immediate area who's going to kill us, and if there was, we'd be toast already, yeah?" Ian crossed his legs and sat on the ground in a firm, if foolish, decision. " Oh I don't know, someone with legs could walk up and kill you but what are the odds amirite?

He does casually think that maybe he might kill people later though?
"Sup Kat? I mean," he shrugged a bit sheepishly, "besides the obvious, I guess." He scratched the back of his neck, wondering why this whole thing felt so awkward. Ian wasn't terrible at the whole making-new-friends thing, and these weren't even new people just -- new circumstances, really. Awkward new circumstances. Ian wasn't going to kill anyone, he knew that much. There was no way he had the stomach for it. I might get desperate enough entered his mind, and he shooed it away

For awhile I thought he was just fronting about not caring about the situation but apparently that's not the case?

It wasn't like he was in denial, or anything. Denial was pointless and ridiculous. There wasn't anyone who was going to rescue them, and there wasn't any way of stopping people from killing, so far as Ian could see. It was kill or be killed -- and Ian had cherry bombs, and James had Clue. What are you gonna do, someone comes and points a gun at you, shoots you in the head? There's nothing you can do.

Well they play some games of Clue and then finally sleep. When they wake up in the morning Ian finds that he's still not concerned and even after hearing the list of the dead he doesn't feel anything for any of them either, just mildly glad he's not on the list.

Then people go their separate ways. Shout out to James who is my favorite character in this scene, exasperated by the Clue talk and worried and paranoid in a charming way. He at one point kind of hopes a killer comes in just to interrupt the endless Clue talk.

I feel alienated from Ian at this point because it is difficult for me to care about someone who does not care. Even if you have decided that it is pointless and you should just focus on having a good time before you die, I don't think it's possible to completely forget about your circumstances and that would still poke in now and then.

Next thread is a one shot. Ian decides he'll go at it alone and seems to be slightly more paranoid than before which is an emotion.

Next thread he comes across Tyler, he of the flicker eyes, Cass and Alex. These three are FIGHTING. Alex is trying to come up with an escape plan and Tyler is calling her a dumb bitch and Alex isn't helping. Ian decides to walk up and sit near them, but he's mostly ignored. He's getting more and more paranoid because he's been alone for three days, snaps and yells at them

"You kill this early and people will call you on it! They'll hunt you!" He had no idea where the words were coming from, could follow no straight line of thought. "You gotta wait till there's no other option, that's the only safe way to do things!"

So I guess he's cool with killing now as long as it's near the end. Bit of a leap. I do see how isolation for two days could start to change his way of thinking, but we didn't get to see that happen so I'm not clear on how he got from Point A "Who cares what happens" to Point C "Kill people when we're closer to the end." More than 1 post where he's alone may have helped here.

They continue to largely ignore him so he leaves.

At this point Ian had gone inactive. He was then adopted out to someone, but was immediately rolled, so SOTFHelp took over. It's not a bad death, really. Stephanie point a gun at him and he rushes her. He beats her to death with the gun, but he's been shot in the knee which makes it so he can't escape in time when the place becomes a danger zone. I like the gruesome part where he tries to use the gun as a crutch to escape the zone, but falls short.

Final thoughts: Ian had a perfectly fine base and not much pregame so I didn't really get a good sense of who he was. Going into the island I was put off by how nonchalant he was about the whole affair. I think the idea of someone going paranoid and mad from isolation isn't a bad one, but there needed to be more transition and time. He's also hindered by the fact that besides his first thread he has no one to play off, being alone or mostly ignored.


Discord seems to be down

time for a blast from the past


The V1 Read-A-Thon
I've seen Elsie twice now, once for two threads with Fred and once in a thread where Michael tried to get into her hiding place, so I think I've read about half of her already. Let's rock.


Sexy blonde cheerleader from a rich family. It says she's a bit of a snob, but smart. Interesting drama: she had sex with her rival's cousin, Matt Vreeland,(related to Tayli Vreeland) and she's pregnant. Matt pressured her to abort the child and she still is nervous about talking her best friend Lyndi about it, but desperately wants to so she can get advice. Onward.

Trust me, you need the spoiler tag

FINAL THOUGHTS: ....no......no?....NO

Elsie was fine until a death that frankly comes out of no where and I don't know why any of it happened. Either way, Lyndi is the better character so just read her and pretend Elsie floated away on a raft?


The V1 Read-A-Thon
Miranda is a murder bush kill and this is the fourth time I've had to read this murder bush kill. Stop giving me this kill.

So Miranda's profile starts with a news article about a time when she was kidnapped by a 30-year-old shop clerk when she was 13. The shop clerk fell in love with her and decided to kidnap her and keep her in the cellar of his cabin until she loved him. She escaped and then I think he was arrested. Oh and she kept a diary while she was in captivity which was then published after she escaped. Most of her profile is dedicated to this event.

Then on the island she wakes up and immediately runs into her ex-boyfriend Eddie Serjeantson. He was her boyfriend before she got kidnapped. Anywho, they have some pretty nice back and forth sassing of each other. She tells him she can protect her with her 104 pounds of all fighting muscle. It's a joke, but they're cute and she's the better of the two.

The two walk up on the hospital and the positioning of everyone is out of whack as fuck. I'm assuming Miranda went into the hospital while Eddie went to the group loitering outside. The group talks of escape, Eddie kicks a rock into a bush. But that bush has crazy moron Daphne in it. For those not in the know, Daphne murdered a girl at school and her own parents shortly before arriving on the island. Daphne sees the rock roll into her bush, takes this as an attack, pops out of her bush and stabs Eddie to death. Miranda runs out of the hospital in hysterics and Daphne is like "ANOTHER ENEMY RUSHING AT ME" and stabs her from her bush as well.


Conclusion: I don't like how focused she is on her weird Kiss The Girls situation prior to the game, but her first thread shows she's got a fun personality. Then she's killed by the murder bush. I can't recommend. Please stop making me read the murder bush. Another please.

The V1 Read-A-Thon
Anya starts by having a dream about a B-movie where a giant fork kills people and then she’s drowning, but she wakes up and is on STOF. Whoever did her wiki mid-game evaluation didn’t read carefully and said SHE was drowning when her post very clearly states she woke up next to the river and not in it.

She realizes she’s on a death game, pulls out an airline bottle of booze (doesn’t say what kind of liquor it is) downs it and then starts thinking. She has a gun in her bag so that’s good. Nearby screams cause her to look at her map, decide the school is a good option and set off.

Right at the outset I want to mention that the writing here is pretty good and there are a refreshing lack of typos.

Anya arrives at school and it’s been barricaded. She says hello and says she’s not playing, asking to be let in. When the response is slow she becomes frightened, but doesn’t know what else to do.

Sydney Morvran tells her if she tosses her gun inside then they’ll let her in, otherwise they’ll shoot her. Xian and Tayli both say Anya is trustworthy. Tayli asks Sydney not to shoot her friend with her weapon that she’s loaned him. Sydney lets her in and says “Enjoy your stay I guess.”

Anya asks Sydney about being in SOTF before. Tayli suggests locking all the firearms in one cabinet and all the ammo in another so everyone can focus on barricading the school without worry of betrayal. She’ll hold the key to one cabinet and Xian the other.

But then Minase walks in. He’s pretty hostile so things get tense. Also Tayli just spent a long post talking about how people in school like her and Minase is like “I don’t like her.” CAN’T WIN ‘EM ALL. Kaishi declares no more people can come in the thread because it’s full, which might make this the first private thread.

Minase starts accusing Sydney of stuff, he starts having V0 flashbacks and throws a grenade at him (pin is still in). Xian intervenes and gets hit in the back with the grenade, Minase drops his gun to catch her (and is suddenly in love with her), Sydney continues to freak out and crym caught in a feedback loop of V0 memories. Xian freaks out.

She dropped [her bag] onto her lap and searched through it pulling out another bottle of gin, thinking that joining this group might have been a mistake.


She finishes the bottle -- for her sake I hope it was another airline bottle -- and thinks that Minase is an idiot. She proposes that since SOTF is being broadcast that the government will come for them as soon as they recognize the location so perhaps if they just wait they might be ok.

Minase thinks Xian and Syndey are crazy and hates Anya for her “diplomacy crap” and takes them all hostage. I’m glad he died of AIDS.

Anya pulls out a THIRD bottle of liquor and drinks it, telling Minase they can listen to him without the threat of death and to at least put the safety on and preferably put the gun down.

Minase HATES her attitude and smarts so he shoots above her head. Anya screams, and then brushes the ceiling bits out of her hair that fell on her. She opens a FOURTH bottle of booze and drinks it all. As she drinks she wonders if there’s an easy way to kill Minase. I have to say I’m on her side.

Tayil has had enough so she goes and falls asleep in a janitor’s closet. When she wakes up she finds a laptop and is excited it could be their ticket out. She runs out, slips, falls on the floor and in falling shoots Sydney in the lung. Wahhh wahhhh. Minase and Anya start trying to help him, Anya gets a FIFTH bottle of gin to disinfect the wound. Did this girl pack nothing but alcohol? Xian runs past Anya and Anya, in surprise, pulls the trigger of her gun but nothing happens because she put the safety on. Xian runs off screaming, Sydney dies, Minase leaves, Anya leaves and Tayil stays there until the area is made a danger zone and she dies.

Anya runs back to the river where Jacob Starr and Uriel are. Jacob is wearing a suit (??). She drops the gun when Jacob approaches her with a knife and he stabs her in the leg. She gets up and he continues trying to stab her. They know each other from school but he’s basically a robot. He stabs her square in the chest and picks up her gun. Well she grabs the gun while he's holding it and pulls the trigger but it shoots her and she dies.

Conclusion: She’s ok. I guess I’d recommend her. I was expecting more sass from Inky’s recommendation of her. She’s a little funny, but not remarkably so. She’s generally well written and has some attitude, but not a must for v1 reading. Trivia says she’s the first person ever to be posted with on SOTF so I guess you can read her for the novelty of that combined with her being decent overall.

Another child please

The V1 Read-A-Thon

Up top: her profile is kind of whack but it actually doesn't really come into play much in her story.

Spoiler: click to toggle

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS: I would recommend Heather. I wish she got to do more and I'm not going to say she's the best v1 character, but she's solid. Something about her makes me feel a kinship to her. She is neither stupid nor a crazy murderer in the sea of both of those that make up v1. As Zarina said in chat "She's mostly competent and that's rare for v1." She even learns, as evidenced by putting her gun away in a bag rather than on the ground the next time she encounters a group. She's a good character, someone toughened by bad experiences but still willing to open up and make friends and I think she deserved better than what she got.

Please select a new child for me.

The V1 Read-A-Thon
My sacrifices worked. Before I start her I want to lodge a request for new art because her profile says she has red bangs and that's not reflected in her face maker. Actually, fuck it, I'm making her a new Facemaker

The V1 Read-A-Thon
Finished Fred.

Fred starts at the warehouse with Jeremy. For the first 5 threads of Fred, please refer to Part 1 of my Jeremy review.

Anyhow, he's shot at the hospital and wanders away to try and draw the random shooter away from his friends. But it doesn't work, the shooter keeps shooting and them and he gets separated for his troubles. He next comes upon Lyndi and Callum. They are freaked out, but they know him from school and he knows them so they do their best to heal his wounds while a crazy Cody Jensen tears through. He sees Lyndi and decides he is in love with her and will do anything to possess her. The group leaves.

Next Callum hears a scream and feels guilty about leaving a girl named Beth so he leaves to his doom. They pick up Lyndi's best friend, Elsie who is secretly pregnant and can't bring herself to tell Lyndi, but Fred senses there's something making her upset. A boy named Vince comes up and he's acting a little sketchy, but mostly ok.

Lyndi and Fred talk, Lyndi is scared that he'll leave her and although he was to reunite with his brother, Jeremy and Heather, he feels for her and promises to stay with her.

Then crazy Cody comes up, still determined to kill the group and take Lyndi. Fred tells the girls to get inside the lighthouse and he'll fight Cody. He's pretty realistic about his odds though.

‘Cept this time you’re up against probably the craziest person on the whole bleeding island, who’s at the moment armed with a tire iron. Bit better than an axe, but still not that good, and you got yourself a pipe wrench and a flashbang… oh, this is rather depressing really.’

Vince is a coward and he also goes inside, leaving Fred to fight Cody alone with his pipe wrench, gifted from Heather. Lyndi breaks eventually and screams at Vince for leaving Fred alone and goes out herself. But it's too late, Fred's been shot.

Final thoughts: Fred's pretty good. He's a decent, normal guy with a protector streak. I think I prefer him to his more indecisive, less outgoing brother, Glenn. I'd recommend him, but I think he picks up more once he gets to the smaller group with Lyndi. Special shout out for Lyndi by the way, she's great.


The V2 Read-o-thon
Thank you for your service, Bowser! Rob is kind of a long read.

Update: The list on page one now has the kids' names linked to their corresponding reviews. You can get to any review just from the first post. Re-live the nightmare all over again without having to search through 16 pages for the review you want.

The V1 Read-A-Thon
As promised, Jeremy Torres, the third longest character in V1 behind only Cody Jensen and Adam Dodd and he only made it to eighth place.

Part 1: I have no posting order and I must scream

Part 2: Soup's On

Part 3: Death Race 2006

FINAL THOUGHTS: It’s fitting that Jeremy’s story ends with a song from The Monkees. They were part of a t.v. show about a band that wasn’t very successful, but in real life they outsold the Beatles and The Rolling Stones for a bit. They also make me think of like, goofy wholesomeness. That’s Jeremy. Sure he didn’t win, but he had more moral fiber than anyone in v1 I think so in his own mind he did win.

I don’t know if I can think of another character like Jeremy. No matter how bad things get, no matter how many of his friends die, no matter what people do to him or how much he suffers, he is hopeful and wants to give people a chance. Every time he comes across a new person he usually makes friends with them and promises to help people left right and center without asking anything in return. I’m kind of sad he didn’t make it farther because it would have been interesting to see how Dodd or Cody would react having to contend with someone standing at the very top of the moral high ground with no malice in their hearts.

I recommend Jeremy, but it takes a long time for him to get going due to the fact that he’s drowned out by more frequent posters in his early threads to the point that he becomes background noise. I would suggest reading his first thread, and then picking it back up at the first time he’s in “Girl 70 Start” where he meets Nev and Scott. You can skip the six threads between using this writeup to fill you in. He's not perfect, his early game drags and he lacks some depth for while, but he's a very solid first attempt from Theseus who would go on to only do better.

Working on Fred, who I read 80 percent of already when I did Jeremy.

The V1 Read-A-Thon

Michael Suarez is short. He's a baseball dude from Barry Coleson High. He finds his other baseball friend jack and with him and Martyn and Jill they decide to try for escape. Martyn, Jill and Jack all go off to die in Onslaught Redux and Michael is somehow separated from them. He's kindda friendly and optimistic and believes in escape. Next he goes to the school and two girls are hiding in it. He bangs on the door and asks to be let in but they don't wanna. So he sulks and leaves.

Then he wanders to some other places and sees a kid named Scott, but he hears something and pushes Scott out of the way, getting shot. It was for nothing though because Scott is then immediately shot and killed. This is the same Scott from Jeremy's story so....guess I know what happened to him now. Though I wish I did not.

Because the person shooting is Angelina Kaige. You see, she gets horny when she kills people.

I want off this ride
With each soldier that she'd killed (and there'd been many), Kaige had realized that she got increasingly more and more sexually aroused.

Well unfortunately for her, Michael was paralyzed when she shot him, so she can't rape him. Darn the luck. So she shoots him in the dick. He can't feel it though. Which is.....better? Then she shoots him in the face while she thinks about her daddy issues. Uhhhhhhhhhh

I don't recommend this character. He seems like a friendly, kindda playful kid but he doesn't get posted with much and then ends in a gross, dumb way that is more about Angelina than him and I don't want to spend any time with her.


The V1 Read-A-Thon
Hi I finished Jeremy and I'll post an incredibly long summary tonight when I get home because that's where most of my write up is but TL;DR Jeremy is Sailor Moon. Roll me a kid in the meantime.