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Slam's Creativity Thread
So here's another thing I just came up with, I suppose it might qualify as another poem but frankly I think of it more as Flash Fiction.

Spoiler: click to toggle

One of these days I'd love to write something upbeat.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
And THAT Vinny, is why you don't lie through your teeth to me.

Vote: VinnyMcQ

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
Well, I think that's enough information dragged out of everyone to give us some more targets after the serial killer is nailed.

Da da da daaaa, roleclaim~

"I wanna be number one. How's that? Short and simple enough for ya? It's gonna be a long, hard road. But who knows? Could kick ass. Could be dangerous. Could totally suck. Whadaya say, bro? Join me. Let's see how far we can take this."

You are Travis Touchdown!

Posted Image

A 27-year old assassin and complete anime (and wrestling) freak, your dream is to reach the top of the UAA's ranking of assassins. Armed with a beam katana and your motorcycle, the Schpeltiger, there's no enemy you're not ready to stab, behead, and/or eviserate. Particularly if it'll get you closer to sleeping with a certain Silvia Christel...Ahem.

It's only natural that someone with your killing experience [if slightly loose morals] would be given the role of TOWN VIGILANTE. During the night, you may PM me the name of one other player to attempt to kill. During the day phase, you will discover whether or not your attack was successful.

You win with the town once all threats to it are eliminated.

In the first night phase I targetted no-one as I had no valid suspects, and did not want to risk hitting a power role, since we all saw what poor aiming from the vigilante could do last game courtesy of Dom.

Last night I attacked Vinny due to my suspicions that he was mafia which I had garnered due to his posts over the last two days. However, as you can see today he is still alive.

As he was still alive, but I still suspected he was scum, I concluded that it was all too possible that he was the serial killer. It would explain how comfortable he was with lynching anyone on the off chance they're scum since he would have no loyalties to worry about. However, pushing for a lynch on him at that point would probably have proved unsuccessful due to being relatively quiet save for his unusually defensive remarks to being accused of things.

Had he simply come out and said I'm not, I would've started to suspect that I had simply been roleblocked or he had been doctored, though I wouldn't have quelled my suspicions completely. However, he instead became remarkably defensive and tried to direct attention back towards me, creating almost two pages worth of post from simply two sentences from me, which made me all the more confident that I was on the right track. It was quite satisfying to see that Toben had correctly picked up on my train of thought, and had deteremind that he was a serial killer.

I will put this forwards to you all:

-If you lynch me today, then you will lose your vigilante.
-If you lynch Vinny today then at worst you will lose a townie, as claimed by himself, who acts very suspiciously (as many of you have pointed out) and thus draws attention to himself and away from the mafia.
-If you lynch Vinny then at best, you lynch the serial killer and thus are left with only the mafia's kill opposed to the town. As the serial killer has already gone for Toben before, you risk letting an important town role and contributor dying again, and this time most likely permanently.

If anyone would like me to explain more, please do go ahead and ask.

Oh, and there was no post restriction Rocky, I just found that people spilt more when they were inventing arguments rather than reacting to mine. I'm not going to let the mafia hide under that excuse.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
Incidentally, there's no lie detector in this game. It's why Vinny's so comfortable telling all the lies.

It was useless, no matter how much she struggled and screamed, Kris had too tight a hold on a bunch of her hairs to break free without scalping herself, and she was too busy hobbling on her impaled foot to make that happen if she wanted to. The ground scrolled by under her feet like a bird looking down at the ground, gliding over it rather than walking along it, until Kris abruptly let go.

Then she gave her a sharp blow to the back of the head, and all bets for survival were off.

Stars swam before her eyes as Kris gripped her by the shoulders, roughly turning her over as Janet staggered blindly at her mercy, as if she was already limp and dead. She was trying to tell her arms to lash out, to fight back, but everything around her was moving too fast for her to get any coordination of her limbs whatsoever.

Something was poking into her back.


Staring eyes.

She was looking upwards, but it wasn't straight upwards. She was being propped up.


It was between her bones. She had been stabbed through the back, and now it was sticking between her rib cage.

The pain was starting to become more prominent than the shock of being stuck onto a jagged piece of metal.


It was cutting the edge of her organs, and now it was obvious to the person you'd expect would understand the situation first.


The bitch, she had impaled her on a piece of metal. She had been impaled, she had been impaled, she was bleeding so much....


"You cow." she spat weakly, the offending strut now penetrating her lung quite effective, air rushing out of the rough crooked hole.

Suddenly everything in front of her eyes was swimming. Kris was becoming a shadow, a disembodied thing, an irrelevant factor in her death. The air was leaving her body, and the rage that had clouded her mind for two days was finally calming.

It really didn't matter, everything that she had thought was so important. It was sad, everything, but what did it matter. They were dead from day one, and now she was meeting her maker.

"Chadd..." she whispered with the last breath she could manage, and instantly she had regretted it. She had loved Chadd, but was he really the only point in her life? Couldn't she had said something more meaningful? Couldn't she had said goodbye to her brother, who would have to grow up without her now? Couldn't she had wished her parents her love, who'd always been so kind and patient with her, even when she'd been on the brink of expulsion for her temper? Couldn't she had told the bitch in front of her that she had hoped she was happy with herself?

There, that was it. Anger was her life, anger was consuming her, and she had done nothing. Even in a dying moment, all she could think of was spite. Spite for this bitch who'd done away with her in a cruel, painful (SO FUCKING PAINFUL she realised all of a sudden, and opened her mouth in a silent scream) manner, and spite for herself at not being more perfect.

Dying does strange things to one's opinions on themselves.

There weren't any more colours any more. Her eyes were still seeing things, and the world was going by without her, but she wasn't a part of it any more. Now she was a decorative lawn ornament, would probably make for a fun sight for the next student to come across her, and she hadn't even done anything useful with her time on the island.

She hadn't killed anyone though. Her family would be happy about that.

It was a little light in the overwhelming darkness.

She could pass on without guilt.


February Mid-Month Rolls
Janet Claymont has Dun dun dun, another one bites the dust

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
Mmm, I like Tobe's idea.

Well shit.

Kris had spotted her, and she looked just plain over the moon to see her. Over the moon and into the loony bin. Just the sort of thing Janet wanted right now.

She stepped forward, ready to smash her straight in the face, but her impaled foot had not magically healed in the last two seconds. Pain shot up her leg like a flash fire the moment she tried to put weight on it as she stepped forwards, causing her to double over as Kris marched towards her. Within seconds, she felt the first blow against her head.

She cursed to herself as her vision blurred, staggering to the side and once again retching in pain as she unintentionally stepped on her bleeding foot again. Another blow hit her in the head, and the cycle repeated itself. Before she knew it, Kris whammed her knee up into her face, and dragged her by the hair. A second wham to the face, and her nose had started bleeding.

She didn't know where she was going, but Janet knew she was in a really bad situation. She couldn't see much right now, as her eyes had watered up from all the punches and her head was forced over by Kris pulling her hair, the same hair she'd always kept so long. It made for a great handhold for her current assailant. All she could make out was the grass rushing past behind her, and the drops of blood oozing from her nostrils.

Fuck, fuck! What was she to do?! She'd dropped the chloroform soaked cloth after the first punch, and she couldn't even think straight with all the pain in her leg and the constant yanking of her hair; she suddenly found herself on the other side of all the dirty fighting she'd used over the years to defend her brother.

And where was she trying to take her anyway? All she could do was scream and shout lashing out at Kris whilst trying her hardest to avoid a sudden scalping.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
So Vinny, question:

What's with the night kill immunity?

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
Lynchers are third party, not townies.

((Janet Claymont continued from Fabuleux))

She'd had enough of all this. The constant reeling of the death list, the blood and gore, the kids going fucking crazy on each other. People were going crazy and trying to kill her, and killing Chadd, and everyone was dying and for NO FUCKING REASON!

Well she wasn't wondering why any more, because she knew why: it was all that asshole Danya's fault, and he was going to pay. He was going to pay with his fucking life, and she was going to cut up his fat ugly face until he bled all over the carpet.

Yeah, it sounded crazy, but she didn't care any more as she marched across the hill with no direction in mind. She just needed to get to Danya as fast as possible, and if wondering around until she ran into him was the only way to get to see him, then so be it.

And incidentally, this wondering happened to bring her to the sight of a young man missing his throat and the back of a very unsettled young woman.

“Fuck it.” she muttered to herself, not at all interested in dealing with more crap. However, a thought crossed her mind: 'She hasn't seen you yet, and she might be armed.'

Some might have taken that as a sign that escape was assured, but Janet's train of thought was stopping at another direction.

She'd need a weapon for slaughtering Danya.

Was it hypocritical of her to try and steal someone's weapon? Only if she tried to kill her when she took it, probably. No, she'd just steal that weapon then leave her to her own psycho babblings. She had that chloroform for a reason, after all.

Huddling over, working fast as the suspense of the girl turning around and spotting her crawled through her veins, she ripped off the cap of the bottle she'd kept clutched in her hands for a while now, it giving her a sound comfort in that at least she was carrying something heavy and blunt in her pocket. Pulling the matching rags out of her pocket, she soaked the cloth thoroughly with the chemicals.

Now all that was left to do was sneak up and snuff her out, she decided as she carelessly tossed the no longer interesting bottle behind her, her mind obsessed with the woman standing ahead. She hunched over, and began sneaking upwards as quietly as her complete lack of training could do, gripping the wet material tightly in her palm.

As Kris grew closer, Janet focused more and more on her target, hurrying up with every step. Incidentally, this meant she focused less and less where she was stepping, and her steps became heavier by the second.

And luckily for Kris, an offending piece of shrapnel happened to be poking out of the ground just in Janet's path.

With a rough squelch, the jagged piece of metal stuck ate through Janet's flimsy trainers, socks, and her pink flesh. Janet couldn't stop herself from cursing out in pain.

It really fucking hurt.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
Don't forget the possibility of a serial killer. Given that they'd really benefit from everyone flying around blind anyway since they don't have to worry about co-ordinating anything, it wouldn't be a stretch to think that Tobe was a serial killer's target. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he/she went for him again.

Meanwhile, this leaves Acidic as a mafia or a vig hit, and given what we went through last round with Vick's death and a possibility they're only going for the quiet probably not protected targets, it wouldn't be a stretch to call it a mafia shot in my opinion.

This means that if we do have a vig they're either not getting their kills through, they're choosing their kills very carefully, or a mix of the two.

Given my NMH knowledge, Speed Buster's target was either Thunder Ryu or Travis Touchdown, neither of whom I can really see being a lyncher out to get her themselves.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
I stand corrected mr. votes in the other dood.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
Stop giving him breathing room.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
And on the note of expected behaviour Tobe, what exactly do you expect? He's been in all of one game so far, and although he's just as defensive here as he was there, 'I AM A TOWNIE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DIE' isn't much evidence is it? Just because you would've been suspicious if he hadn't jumped on you because you were expecting him to doesn't mean that he would necessarily think that far.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
Well it better be a damn good roleclaim, since the last thing we need is an unco-operative townie.

Except, you know, a mafia person.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
Darn lack of color for Holly's ease of spotting

Vote: Crowmanhunter

Also I don't know why I was calling you Darren Dete, I mean it's not like I've never called you Dete before. Meh.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
Vote: Crowmanhunter

There's a difference between random incriminations and actually joining in the discussion popping around.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
Course with Shinobu's current ruling it wouldn't have mattered who the mafia killed since Darren would have to watch the killer, not the killed, to find out what happened, but there's no way the mafia could've known that until now, so it'd still make sense for them to consider only killing someone who wasn't likely to be being observed.

No More Heroes Mafia: Game Thread
As a No More Heroes veteran, I SUPPOSE that Shinobu could fit into the rank of a tracker. I wouldn't put it past her character though to be a mafia, but frankly I think it's probably better to let Darren slide.

To be honest, I think it'd be a little klunky for Darren to be mafia: given that Vicks was killed last night instead of an active threatening player, we can probably assume the mafia just didn't want to risk going for someone who might be watched and are just playing the careful game, which would make it odd for a mafia member to make such a heat drawing move as to ask for a roleclaim from a role like vigilante that's really just better off annonymous until necessary. So I'd personally call it a blunder that's too darn heat attracting for a careful person to make.

That said it's also possible that Vicks death was due to a serial killer or vigilante and Ban's was due to the other one, and the mafia just didn't get a hit through. However, a mafia getting roleblocked on night one is just too small a chance to really consider seriously right now, and since Ban was still alive last night we can probably assume he would've been capable of piercing protection and offing anyone even with doctor protection, so it's probably safe to assume that the mafia got their kill through, and we either only have one other killer or someone didn't manage to shoot last night.

So that said, where does this leave us in terms of suspects?