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Dark Necessities
Woah, talk about hitting a nerve.

From the sound of it, Vanessa probably should’ve paid more attention to that announcement, since Kaitlyn’s denial was doing nothing to mask the actions that were written across her face. It sounded like Vanessa was face to face with someone who, by all accounts, had probably committed muder. Her first conversation with a confirmed killer.

She felt a lump form in her throat, but she was able to swallow it surprisingly quickly. Did Kaitlyn unnerve her suddenly? Maybe a little, but she still looked like she had back at school, on the whole. There was no deranged twinkle in her eye, not like Nancy had had. Kaitlyn still seemed to have her faculties intact, so she probably wasn't about to try and axe her a question.

Maybe she was being too trusting. Maybe she was starting to not care.

“…Cool.” She finally said, trying to maintain that air of indifference. It was difficult, but she thought she was managing. The lingering traces of that startled moment were still showing on her face, though.

“I’ve just been looking around, I guess.” She was speaking slowly, thinking on the words in case she could still set Kaitlyn off like she’d already done. “Looking for Alessio Rigano, actually. You know who he is?”

She wasn’t about to announce her murderous intent, but she felt awkward leaving the question hanging. Maybe she just wanted to share her plans with someone, even if it was indirectly.

“Let’s just say I want to talk to him.”

She tightened her grip on her chair leg as she said the words.

The List of Adrian Messenger.
Yesterday hadn’t gotten any better since they’d left the asylum. Nate was glad to have company that wasn’t trying to kill or rob him (so far), and he was relieved when they didn’t run into Alvaro, but he’d been on edge the whole time, unable to form a coherent conversation with Asuka. She probably thought he was really boring.

At the end of the day, nightfall had been a relief. At least he wasn’t expected to be chatty in his sleep.



He’d been dreading the announcements for a while when they blurted into life. He knew what it meant: confirmation that gotten his friends killed. There was the stream of unfamiliar names as he listened for Ben or Matt’s name, but he hadn’t expected Henry's. A wave of guilt instantly washed over him, but he had to hold it back a moment longer and keep his ears sharp, as the announcement continued on indifferently.

There was what felt like a torturous pause after Oskar Pearce’s name, before the topic casually changed to the danger zone of the day. That was it; no more names. Nate half expected the announcer to cut himself off, go “Haha, just kidding, Nate. Matt and Ben are dead, thanks to you”, but that never happened, and finally the loudspeakers died out again.

His friends were still alive.

He wanted to smile, as a massive weight lifted off his shoulders. In reality though, he didn’t know how to feel: his friends were still alive, but others were still dead, including the guy he’d cursed the name of. He was supposed to feel relieved, he thought, but wouldn’t that make him selfish? It meant he wasn’t a killer, but that didn’t mean he’d done the right thing by abandoning the others.

In the end, he’d just kept it to himself, trying to resolve his never-ending inner dialogue. Despite his friends being alive, he still felt like he needed someone to tell him it wasn't his fault. Never the less, he also didn't want to bother Asuka, any more than he no doubt already had.

The two headed off towards the cabin. A rumbling in Nate’s belly gnawed away at him, a reminder that there was still just a single day pack between them thanks to the late Henry Spencer. It was time to go scavenging, and the hunting lodge looked promising.

I'm covered in beads!
You get quite a bit of depth out of those beads in terms of colour too, so that's neat.

General Video Game Discussion Thread
Mmm on one hand I'm a diehard Resident Evil fan, and I also loved Outlast. On the other, first person games inevitably give me a headache.

Anyone got thoughts on RE7 so far?

Dark Necessities
Vanessa finished her laugh alongside Kaitlyn, venting a lot of negative feelings in that comedic moment. The pain was still there, but it felt good to open the valves in a time where it didn’t seem possible. She was actually smiling, even if it was a cocky teasing smile.

Out of the people she could’ve ran into at the time, Kaitlyn wasn’t a bad pick. The two got on well enough in softball, no major fights or the like. They weren’t best friends, but that option wasn’t on the cards anymore anyway, so a buddy would suffice.

“So, what’ve you been up to?” Vanessa asked, arms folded as she took as relaxed a pose as she could still muster, as if she wasn’t concerned about talking to a girl with a kill to her name. Then again, Vanessa had been so fixated on Cameron and her killer that the rest of the announcement had been a relative blur. Her guard was down.

“Apart from taking a dump in closets, I mean.”

Dark Necessities
Nice.

Vanessa stood there, the way any of us would if we walked in on someone wiping their arse after taking a dump in a janitor’s closet. Were the skit to play out in full, she’d have slowly shut the door and noped right back out of there. She had enough bullshit going on without actual shit joining her thoughts.

Kaitlyn had intervened on her little peepshow before Vanessa could really enjoy it all, but she'd seen enough, and was left staring at the door to the former’s impromptu toilet.

A snicker. Of all the things she’d seen so far, that was probably one of the most messed up. A burst of laughter.

She laughed hard, pausing only to wipe the tear from her eye. “Kait, that you?” she called back in through the giggling fit, having picked up on the familiar voice and face from softball as she desperately scrambled to stop Vanessa from witnessing the dirty deed. “Fuckin’ A’, this what you do when you’re not at school? Or should I give a heads up to the janitors?”

Her words were coming out in-between the laughter, one she had been very much needing, but one that was perhaps just a bit too much in light of the past few days.

Slam's Creativity Thread
More sketches so you guys don't think I've given up on it!

Artz

Judas
Nate felt that brief moment of rising hope when Asuka started to say that it wasn’t his fault. He wouldn’t have agreed with her, because of course everything was his fault, but external reassurance had always meant a lot to him. So when Asuka cut herself off, he dipped right back down under that faint disappointment.

Solidarity in how useless they all were felt just a bit better, but Nate still couldn’t agree. Even if everyone else was dying, and their friends were getting killed, and there were people out there feeling as bad as Alvaro and doing worse, he still knew that he was the most useless. Asuka could give a good effort, but it couldn’t change facts.

He peaked his head at her direction to follow, nodded, and did so. It probably wouldn’t help, but it beat standing in there forever waiting for Alvaro to show back up and kill them both.

He gulped at the thought of that and checked four times as they left the room to make sure Alvaro wasn't standing behind them with his gun. He walked along Asuka whilst still checking behind themselves every few steps, heading away from the scene of his betrayal and towards whatever she was going to show him to try and lift his spirits.

((Asuka Takahara and Nate Turner continued in The List of Adrian Messenger.))

Neither Snow Nor Rain Nor Abducted Kids
In some ways, it felt like any other day for Gary Cliff working his mail route. Hot sun up in the air, kids heading past him on their way to school, dogs running up to greet him or bark at him (dumb little bastards, bless ‘em), just the same old fresh morning air that kept the spring in his step.

It was all overshadowed, of course, by the uncomfortable smog that had hung over Kingman for the past several weeks. A class full of kids going missing, probably dead, would do that to your mail route.

His mailbag was heavier those days: suddenly handwritten letters were a lot more popular than they had been in years, no doubt relatives from out of town trying to send their regards. Felt kind of shallow, as far as he was concerned.


Dear Babs,

We were so sorry to hear about Susie. Our deepest sympathies go out to you in this dark hour, and we’re praying daily that she comes back to us unharmed.

Love,
Concerned enough to write but not concerned enough to come down to your backwater town.



He was being judgemental, but he shrugged. Despite his profession, he never thought that the pen could carry the same sentiment as the presence. Sure, Kingman was out of the way and not exactly LA, but it was a good town to visit, and right now being there for your family should’ve made even a drive up to the darkest reaches of Alaska enticing.

Another bunch of kids walked past him, this time middle schoolers. One of them looked tense, as his two friends shared their opinions on what had happened to the Kingman Class at a volume all could hear; he had half a mind to smack them both across the back of the head. ‘Have a little courtesy’ he silently bemoaned, but he couldn’t really hold it against them.

How were the kids supposed to react? The siblings had it bad enough, but what about the kids going into high school next year, or the ones who were in the lower years at Cochise? Maybe some of them would be relieved: those terrorist bastards had never struck the same city twice so far, but he knew plenty of the kids would be up late at night, some of them crying into their mom’s arms all freaked out over it, begging them for some safety that their parents had no way of giving without homeschooling them. His own kids were only six and four, thank God, so they didn’t understand all that well what was going on, but he could tell they knew something had happened.

The kids weren’t the only ones staying up at night, he knew from experience. What if his kids had been just twelve years older? What would he be going through right now? What were those parents on his route going through right now? Some of them had support groups, some of them had gone to very dark places, but none of them were in a state he wanted to try and imagine.

Another dog barked at him. “Ah shaddap, ya stupid mutt.” He threw back at him or her, but it was as playful in tone as he could muster. The whole thing was depressing, no doubt more than that really, but what could he do? He wasn’t a cop or a soldier (he’d thought about it in his youth, but he didn’t like guns or violence, or working out more than a brisk walk), he was just a mailman.

He put another envelope with a handwritten address through its door. This, he supposed, was the best he could do.

Dark Necessities
((Vanessa Stone continued from Shock Me))

She hadn’t slept much. Yesterday was kind of a blur, a day she’d rather forget but obviously could not, the proof of it still wrapped around her arm in the form of a colourful bandana. Her mind was swarming with memories: the fun times she’d had with her BFF that she thought would last forever, the bitter arguments that were so fucking stupid and pointless then and now just felt like they’d spat on what precious time the two of them had shared, the two weeks they hadn’t talked because of something as ridiculous as who was the frontwoman of the band. She felt guilty that she hadn’t been a better friend in the unpredictably too-short time they'd had.

Alessio Rigano. He was the one who’d killed Cams, that’s what the announcement had said, and he’d kept going since then. He was a fucking dead man, that had been decided before she even knew his name. The least she could do, she figured, was even the score.

Too bad she didn’t have a clue who Alessio Rigano was.

She was far from the asylum, and she preferred it that way. She’d rather never return, never have to risk going past that closet that had become a crypt. The place was already filling up with the ghosts of her dead classmates, she didn’t need to think about Cams haunting it too. Shit, Cams would probably get a kick out of that: floating around, scaring the crap out of anyone who had the bad luck to be walking down those empty hallways. She'd probably be in full makeup when she did it, too.

She chuckled, just a little, and then inevitably felt guilty. She dismissed it though; she wasn’t going to get caught up grieving, not when there were things to settle.

She’d been clutching her chair leg for a few hours now; the grisly nail sticking out of it was ready for action. It had just been a deterrent before, just a weird prop in her pretense of going along with the whole affair, never really carried with any knowledge of how it was going to be used. Now it knew its purpose, and now everything felt more real. It wasn’t going to go into the first person she saw, but it was certainly going to be shoved up someone’s ass before all this was over.

In her search for Alessio, Vanessa had entered the storehouse not long after Kaitlyn had opted not to do her business outside. She’d looked at the room full of crates and immediately felt uncomfortable. It was a subconscious feeling, but the place was far too reminiscent of the storage closet. Wanting to avoid the sight, she decided to check the corridors first, looking for a different view.

As she walked down the hallway, no longer running her hands along the wall or quietly humming to herself, she passed the janitor’s closet. She paused; she could’ve sworn she’d heard faint grunting coming from inside.

“Yo, someone in here?” she called out, hand already on the knob and opening the door, failing to heed anything from the last times she’d blindly walked into rooms.

Judas
It wasn’t’ that Nate didn’t appreciate Asuka’s offer, really, but it just felt so awkward. He didn’t know what to say to her playing therapist, and he definitely didn’t know what to say to her offering him stuff. ‘Thank you’ was the obvious answer, but how was he supposed to say that when he just felt so much like he was being a burden?

Unfortunately, the gnawing pain in his stomach got the better of him, and before he could stop himself he’d pulled a protein bar out of her bag, chomping it down his tight, parched throat. The tepid water that followed felt heavenly, and within moments he’d drained a whole bottle.

He let out a gasp, sniffed up some snot, and stayed where he was crouched over the daypack, trying to compose himself. Asuka’s kindness was more than he deserved, really, but he still didn’t really know how to show it. Even if he did thank her, then what? He couldn’t repay her, and he probably would just keep being deadweight who’d make her life harder.

Rubbing his eyes that were once again so red, he got to his feet, nodding at her, the best appreciation he could offer. He gripped his arms, still shaking just a bit, as he thought about what he should say next. If she wanted to help and hear him out, he wasn’t going to pass up the chance, even if he felt like he should.

“Well, it was-“ another sniff, another swallow, another moment to compose himself. “It was Matt, and Ben. We were looking for stuff, then Alvaro showed up, and-“

He had to keep stopping himself, catching the sobs before they started spilling out again. He knew this wasn’t what Asuka had asked, but this was what was coming out. He couldn’t even think of his favourite hobbies or shared secrets with Ben or Matt: they were his friends, he’d told himself that, but he barely knew them beyond their time on the island and from drama club. What kind of friend did that make him?

“Alvaro shot Ben, and then I ran away. I didn’t mean to leave them, really I didn't, but I just got so scared, and I wanted to help Alvaro too, cause he looked even more scared than we were, but I just got everyone killed.“

He brought his hand up to his mouth, biting on his fist, pulling out the stops to avoid yet another outburst. He continued, words muffled by his own hand but needing to come out all the same, to punish himself like he deserved.

“I’m so useless, Asuka. It’s all my fault.”

V6 BDA Voting Thread #3a (Caleb Diamond)
Here's the voting thread for Caleb Diamond's BDA quote. Voting runs for three days.

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V6 BDA Voting Thread #3b (Wayne Cox)
Here's the voting thread for Wayne Cox's BDA quote. Voting runs for three days.

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Shock Me
Vanessa continued to stare fury at Vinny as they walked out the room with in their tranquil anger. She was grinding her teeth together, waiting for her insults to fly forth at Vinny, who’d just let Cams get murdered, as the hot tears ran down her face. Yet they didn’t come, and Vinny left.

Suddenly, she realised, that yelling at Vinny hadn’t changed a goddamn thing. “Wait.” She whispered, but they had already gone, and Vanessa was alone.

Why the fuck had she done that? She was standing there with her dead best friend in her arms, and all she’d done was yell at Cam’s other friend, and nothing good had come of it. All she’d done was force herself to deal with this alone, and something that hurt so bad already just felt even worse. God, she was the fucking retard after all.

She shut her eyes tight, shutting it all out, but still feeling Cam’s limp weight in her arms. She was so heavy; Vanessa wanted to put her down because her arms were starting to strain, but how could she? If she just put her down on the floor, let her go, she’d fall limp and that’d just be as much proof as anything that she really was fucking dead.

Except that she really was, and Vanessa couldn’t stand there looking at the door that Vinny had walked out of forever, no matter how much she wanted to not face what came next. Finally, reluctantly, she put Cams down, with all the gentle care she could muster. Of course, Cams still didn’t move.

She turned around, pressed her head against the wall, took her eyes off the body. She was sobbing, trying to get a hold of herself, failing. Her best friend was dead; this terrorist BS that had just seemed like a distant threat had come crashing down right in front of her, and she hadn’t even had a chance to do anything. She felt, more than anything, powerless and lost.



Finally, she left the storage closet. She’d done everything she could’ve for Cams, everything she had the strength to do, but it still felt like fuck all. She’d left her lying on the floor, hands over that awful hole in her stomach, as peaceful looking as anyone who’d been brutally murdered by their classmate could’ve. It felt pointless, hollow, and stupid, but she knew she had to do something.

She looked down at her wrist, Cameron’s Mastodon bandana now tied around her own arm. Maybe she should’ve left it with her friend, she thought, but she knew why she’d taken it. She had to have something, anything, just that little piece of her left. Even if she still had all the memories, something physical and real just helped, just a little bit.

She stared out into the hallway, looking so damn different from how it had looked when she'd come from the other end. She looked back down at her wrist.

It wasn’t enough.

((Vanessa Stone continued in Dark Necessities))

Slam's Creativity Thread
May or may not have done some drunk writing.

Springtrap-Senpai (mild nsfw warning)

Judas
“Um, well, I mean…”

He was desperately avoiding looking her in the face now. Of course he’d met someone who was being a jerk: he’d met someone who’d robbed him of all his stuff. He’d met someone who’d tried to kill him and had killed his two friends. He’d met the terrorist who started the whole thing up on that stage.

For one of the few times in his life, not only was the thought of meeting more people wasn’t just unpleasant: it was overwhelming.

“I’ve met some bad people, I guess. I mean, like, I said I got split up and stuff. And, well, I don’t have any of my stuff anymore, so I don’t have a map so I don’t know where the danger zones are, and I don’t have anything to eat or drink, and I haven’t eaten anything all day, and my friends are dead, and I really don’t know know- and I- I-“

Fresh tears ran down his face as it all spilled out. Why was it that as much as he didn’t want to, he still found himself crying again and again? Why was it that he was stuck here, dying slowly, just because he went on a school trip? Why did his friends have to die because of him? Why did he have to make Asuka stand there and watch him act like a big stupid cry-baby? Why couldn’t he just do better and be actually useful for once?

He wanted to apologise to her for acting so stupid, but he couldn’t form words right now, as they were lost amidst the sobbing. He had been so scared, so sure that Alvaro was going to kill him, but that didn’t justify anything. He was stupid, useless, and should’ve just stayed in that room and let Alvaro get it all over with.

Rank (Your Own) Characters!
Current kids excluded because obviously they're my best characters ever.

God Tier
1. Dave Russell (V5) - Dave was a very easy character to write, and he managed to be involved in a lot of entertaining/useful scenes. There are some things I'd tweak about him with a re-do, but I think as far as my kids go he probably accomplished the most in the space he inhabited.
2. Gabriella Parker (V5) - Gabby, in contrast to Dave, had a tonne of potential that I looked forward to but didn't actually play out. Although early rolls cut it short, I still feel that she managed to get plenty done in her short screentime, and I found her voice quite engaging to work with. Would play again.

High Tier (aka Jackass tier)
3. Alex King (V5) - I love playing mouthy bastards (not that anyone could attest to that), and Alex really got to run away with it in V5. Sadly, her lack of character development keeps her out of god tier, but I'm still proud of the dialogue I got going with her.
4. Jay Harland (Evo) - A villain with brief screentime (and not all of it visible), Jay never the less managed to keep a consistent voice and had a personality I'd be up for exploring given the chance.
5. Mitsuko Souma (BRAU) - I just went ham with Mitsuko and in spite of having to work for ages to actually score a kill, I had plenty of fun with this gal. Elena, I'm still waiting to write Hirono v Mitsuko.

Good tier
6. Yutaka Seto (BRAU) - Although I don't remember much of Yutaka's scenes, I know I liked writing him and his goofy adorable mannerisms.
7. Sandy Bricks (V6) - The only recent kid on the list; Sandy is a tricky one. I do think he did what I wanted him to do more or less, but he was very draining to write and I don't think he was the deepest character as things went. Not bad, but I'm not in a hurry to whip him out again.

Meh tier
8. Rebecca Long (Program V2) - Becky's a success for me because I promised myself I wouldn't hero or swap out of Program V2, and I was rewarded with just missing the final fight. Unfortunately, I knew fuck all what to do with Becky, and never really got her voice down, so she's not high quality in my opinion.
9. Janet Claymont (V4) - My most successful V4 kid, but I never really felt like Janet accomplished a huge amount. Perhaps there was too much living in her own head with the writing, plus I was young and naíve about what made things work.
10. Amber Whimsy (V4) - Amber had a pretty successful pregame, I think, and her one scene on the island seemed to work well enough for people. Still, she just wasn't long lived enough to place higher on this list.
11. Alice Boucher (V4) - I consider Alice more storyspoiler's than my own character at this point, but in spite of her horribly clichéd character I do think I was starting to get something going in pregame, which I'm happy with given it was early days for me.

Yawn tier
12. Ryan Banks (V5 Pregame) - A boring guy who didn't make it onto murder island. I may be able to get into an introvert's headspace, but that doesn't make them interesting reads if they hang out on their own all the time.
13. Janet Claymont (SC) - I barely remember anything about SC Janet except that she was an unnecessary recycle.
14. Yuka Nakagawa (BRAU) - Sadly, I don't remember much about writing Yuka either except for making her a wrestling lesbian who Elena's gal had a thing for.
15. Lucy Ashmore (V4) - Quiet and timid doesn't make good characters, people, not if they don't actually do something.

Embarassing Tier
16. Jethro Stuarts (Program) - I focused way too much on race with Jethro in my head, so I try not to think about this guy. C'est la vie.

I'm covered in beads!
Feel free to say no cause it's not 8-bit but I'm curious to see what you'd do to this:

Spoiler: click to toggle

V6 Rolling List
1. Bridgette Sommerfeld (leAloha)
2. Serena Waters (Seth Crimson)
3. Lily Caldwell (Violent Medic)
4. Min-jae Parker (backslash)
5. Jeremiah Fury (MK Kilmarnock)
6. Matthew Moradi (Privyet)
7. Jaime Schanbacher (decoy73)
8. Eliza Luz (Grim Wolf)
9. Bernadette Thomas (Imehal)
10. Arthur Bernstein (CrossbowPig)
11. Keith Bauer (bacon)
12. Kimiko Kao (Deamon)
13. Raina Rose (backslash)
14. Vanessa Stone (Slam)
15. Asuka Takahara (Zetsumodernista)
16. Lili Williams (CrossbowPig)
17. Cass Prince (dmboogie)
18. Michael Crowe (ToxieTheToxicAvenger)
19. Hannah Kendrickstone (Dannyrulx)
20. Noah Whitley (Laurels)
21. Penelope Fitzgerald (VoltTurtle)
22. Hazel Jung (SansaSaver)
23. Benjamin Lichter (Malloon)
24. Rene Wolfe (Aura)
25. Bryony Adams (Pippin)
26. Darius Van Dyke (RC)
27. Natalie Winters (PlatFleece)
28. Caedyn Miller (Empress Plush)
29. Bart Cappotelli (Aura)
30. Travis Lynch (Deamon)
31. Jasmine Reed (Ciel)
32. Kiziah Saraki (General Goose)
33. Alex Tarquin (Grim Wolf)
34. William McKinley (Dannyrulx)
35. Dorothy Shelley (Lore)
36. Maxim Kehlenbrink (Rorick Skyve)
37. Fiyori Senay (Bikriki)
38. Jeremy Frasier (Yugikun)
39. Blair Moore (Espi)
40. Taranis "Tara" Behzad (Grim Wolf)
41. Ben Fields (Cicada Days)
42. Tyler Yazzie (Empress Plush)
43. Jonathan Gulley (ToxieTheToxicAvenger)
44. Alice Baker (Espi)
45. Astrid Tate (Pippin)
46. Lucilly Peterson (Bikriki)
47. Johnny McKay (Frogue)
48. Kaitlyn Greene (D/N)
49. Scout Pfeiffer (Ciel)
50. Isabel Ramirez (VoltTurtle)
51. Toby Andreasson (Namira)
52. Alvaro Vacanti (Yugikun)
53. Alessio Rigano (RC)
54. Nadia Riva (Laurels)
55. Candice Banks (Somersault)
56. Georgia Lee Day (Frogue)
57. Junko Kurosawa (KamiKaze)
58. Maria Cucinotta (Dannyrulx)
59. Coleen Reagan (MK Kilmarnock)
60. Sandra Dyer (CondorTalon)
61. Nate Turner (Slamexo)
62. Vincenzo/a Gatti (Namira)
63. Alba Reyes (Laurels)
64. Brendan Harte (Primrosette)
65. Nancy Kyle (CondorTalon)
66. Jordan Green (Randomness)
67. Aiden Slattery (Rorick Skyve)
68. Asha Sur (dmboogie)
69. Emma Luz (KamiKaze)
70. Olivia Fischer (Maraoone)
71. Wade Cartwright (shotgunkid)
72. Clarice Halwood (Violent Medic)
73. Audrey Reyes (kervin555)
74. Alan Banks (Zetsumodernista)
75. Jennifer Wallace (KamiKaze)
76. Irene Djezari (Empress Plush)
77. Amanda Tan (Randomness)
78. Melanie Beckett (Iceblock)
79. Leslie Price (shotgunkid)

Shock Me
“Well you sure as fuck didn’t think to get in the fucking way, did you?!”

If she’d been startled by the shelf’s collapse, it hadn’t taken the fight out of her. She got to her feet, still clinging to Cameron’s heavy, limp body, and kicked one of the empty boxes that had scattered in front of her straight at Enzo.

“This is all your fucking fault, you braindead shit! If you’d just paid some fucking attention, or not been picking your fucking asshole, it wouldn’t be- it wouldn’t be like-“ her voice was catching in her throat, as she looked down at her friend who had become so damn heavy. She tried to keep going, but she was choking on her tears.

“She’s fucking dead, Vinny! She’s fucking dead! What am I supposed to do? How could you let this happen?”

She wanted to vomit, to let go of Cams, to drop to her knees and cry into the floor. This wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real. She couldn’t deal with this real.

This whole time she’d been in this shitstorm, she’d thought ‘hey, at least if I find Cams there’s that. At least I’ll be with my BFF as terrorists make us kill each other’. She’d had a goal that would’ve at least made the situation just a bit more bearable, just a tiny shred of hope in the nightmare that she was trying her best to bear and get through, and figure out just something she could do about it.

Now, there was nothing. Now, there was no hope.