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Offering Free Artz
Wow. You're quite a skilled artist. Those are very well done.

M. I. A.
Eve turned around, acknowledging Kimberly and asking about the state of affairs in the school, so Kimberly said, "Well, nothing too huge. Prom's coming up, you know, and there were royalty elections or something. Everyone's pumped for the trip, graduation, and getting out of here. You know, normal stuff."

Normal indeed. Normal, and fairly boring. The really interesting thing here was Eve's return. Kimberly had heard rumors about the girl, and had figured that she'd miss the rest of the year, maybe even transfer schools—that is, if she finished high school at all. Apparently not, though; Eve must have somehow made up a lot of her work while absent or have worked out some sort of deal with the school. Or had enough credits not to worry about missing a few classes, which was quite possible. Still, she was back, and after her exit, that took some guts.

"How've you been?" Kimberly asked. It was the perfect question for this sort of occaision: innocent, yet as loaded as the recipient wanted it to be. As she talked, Kimberly walked alongside Eve, setting a slow pace. It wasn't like a few extra minutes out of class were going to change anything for Eve.

Introduction Thread
Welcome to the site, Vinny!

Introduction Thread
Welcome to SOTF, Mel!

Nathan Price
Heh, sorry, that sounded way too official and stuff. You didn't do anything wrng or anything. Basically, I was just posting so folks would notice it'd been moved. Sorry for any confusion.

Nathan Price
I'm not sure if this has been settled or not (if so, please post), but now that we have this section, it belongs here instead. Moved.

Daniel Blessing
Hi chibi! Daniel is temporarily DENIED. I just want a little more info on him.

Particularly, I want to know more about his school life. How does he do? What classes does he like? What is his social group? Does he have any friends? That sort of thing.

You also list reading as a hobby of his, but don't mention it in his bio. Could you add a little about it? What genres does he like, say?

Post when you've got that taken care of, and we'll give him another look.

Daniel Blessing
Hey Chibi, before we give Daniel a look, can you edit his profile so it conforms to the template? Specifically, can you ditch the extra line between the bio and advantages sections? Thanks!

Virgil Hollister
This character has been abandoned by the handler.

Virgil Hollister
Thanks for the fix!

Unfortunately, Virgil is DENIED, pending some pretty serious adjustments.

To start with, Virgil's height and weight are quite problematic. 6'9" and 121 pounds results in a BMI of 13. For reference, avergae is about 24, and 17 is underweight. Check out this site to get a good idea of appropriate heights and weights. I'd actually recommend either toning his height down quite a bit, or explaining how it affects him a bit more in his biography, as that height would certainly cause some pretty big complications in his life (Trust me; I'm half a foot shorter than him and I still hit my head all the bloody time).

I'd also like you to give us a little more detail on his facial features.

Next up, your dates are wrong. SOTF V4 actually takes place May-ish 2008, so Virgil should have been born in 1991.

Virgil's bio could use some more expansion. Particularly, I'd like these two sentences ". In 1st grade, Virgil eye got cut by the blade of a pair of scissors, and after a few surgeries, had to wear strong prescription glasses. In the 6th grade, after a report on Greek history and mythology, became highly interested in Greek myths." fleshed out a lot. I'd like more detail on the incident with his eye (how was it cut? Also, please fix the grammar in the sentence). I'd also like to know more about his interest in mythology. Why did he care so much?

Next, I need to know a lot more about his parents' death. Right now, the event seems sort of tacked on to give Virgil's life more drama. I want you to change it or give it a lot more detail. How does he feel about the event? Was he hurt in the crash? How does he feel about relocating? Does he get along well with his new family? That sort of stuff. It's great that you mention therapy, but I still want to know more.

I'd also love to know more about Virgil's friends. Who are they? Why do they get along? That sort of thing. Similarly, his hobbies could use a bit more. What about filming speaks to him?

I know that's a lot of stuff, but it'll really help Virgil come alive as a character. For an example of the sort of detail we like, check out some of our Approved Registrations, such as Dr. Nic's William Hearst and MK Kilmarnock's Liam Brooks.

Post when you've got those changes made, and we'll give Virgil another look. Thanks, and welcome to SOTF!

Virgil Hollister
Yup!

That second "Hobbies and Interests" should read "Appearance".

In The Park
"Not really," Everett said with a smile. "Thanks for taking the time to talk with me about this. I really appreciate it. If you need any more info, feel free to give me a call."

He dug a piece of paper out of his pocket, along with a pencil, and scribbled down his phone number. He hoped Lily had enough to work with, but if not, he would be happy to provide more later. Maybe she could actually convince people to care about the park again.

M. I. A.
((Kimberly Nguyen continued from Angst and Sullenness in Saint Paul))

It was almost the start of the school day, not that Kimberly particularly cared. She was just walking to the doors, tossing her cigarette to the ground, waging an internal war with herself as she tried to decide whether to ditch or not. She had perfect attendance this semester, and her grades were good, so it wouldn't be a big deal if she missed one day. On the other hand, she'd already dragged herself out of bed and to the campus. It wasn't like she really had anything better to do.

She slowed her walk, giving herself a little more time before reaching the point of no return, when she happened to glance to the side and saw a slightly familiar figure walking towards the school. She paused for a second, looking closer. It couldn't be...

"Eve?" she called.

Kimberly didn't really know the girl well, but she'd picked up the nature of Eve's academic hiatus. The girl was back in school now, though, which was actually a pretty interesting development. Besides, saying hi was a perfectly valid reason for Kimberly to be late to class, just this once.

Let the Dance Begin!
Everett had just finished his snack when William got back. He explained that he'd had no luck, then asked about Everett.

"Heh, no. No luck at all," Everett said. "Not that I've really actually tried. I don't know... I mean, I don't really have much luck with girls."

Then William introduced himself. That brought Everett's respect for him up a notch. It was pretty rare for people their age to go out of their way to spare each other awkwardness. Everett appreciated William's effort, even if it was unecessary.

"Nope, you got it right," he said with a smile. "I'm sorry that didn't turn out for you. There's gotta be other opportunities, though. I mean, I can't imagine why you'd have any trouble finding a girl to dance with."

Unlike me, Everett added silently. He didn't need to share his own doubts, though. There was no point throwing a pity party for himself.

Then he noticed that William had two empty glasses in his hand, which made him turn to the dark red, almost wine-colored punch that on the snack table. He poured himself a glass, then turned to William and said, "Care for a refill?"

OFFICIAL SOTF CHATROOM
I can get in just fine.

EDIT: No one else seems to be active, though.

The Dance Must go on!
"Thanks," Kimberly replied with a smile as a boy complimented her dress. He was gone before she could really get a good idea of who he was, though, perhaps dragged off by his date. She was still pleased. She didn't want to steal anyone's date or anything, but being admired, well, that never hurt.

She took a second to move away from Maria a little, edging along the side of the dance, watching people trickle in late. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Even the teachers were chilling out, which was a pleasant surprise.

Finally, getting a little bored of lurking around the edges, Kimberly moved to the dance floor, and began to dance by herself. It was a little bit awkward, because her dress jingled with every move. She hadn't really planned on moving too much, but standing around was just so dull. Still, she wasn't making that much noise, especially compared to the music. It was still horrible, but if she focused hard enough she could pretend something actually decent was playing. Of course, this meant she was dancing off-beat, but if anyone had a problem with that, Kimberly couldn't have cared less.

Stranded in this Shopping Hell
Rizzo corrected Amber, and Aaron made a note of his actual last name. It was a very good thing Rizzo had chimed in; Aaron would otherwise almost certainly have eventually used the wrong name. He hated how mistakes that began as little things could propagate themselves and become big deals.

Then the conversation took a turn for the nasty. Amber revealed that she ran a blog, a decently popular one at that—though Aaron was not entirely convinced of that fact; "popular" was quite relative, after all, especially among his peer group—and offered to slander the girl that had hurt Rizzo.

Aaron was no stranger to the idea of revenge. Hell, he'd been seconds from taking action to get back at one Jacquard Broughten just a short while ago. Getting the internet involved, though... that was taking things a step too far. Aaron liked the idea of personal payback, the sort of thing where you settled your debts in kind, and then you and your foe moved on with your lives hating each other but otherwise unchanged. Social sabotage and the potential destruction of friendships was a too severe for him. That was major stuff, the sort of thing you did in response to a truly unforgivable sin. Embarassing someone was one thing; ruining them was something else entirely.

It wasn't his business to stop Amber and Rizzo if they wanted to step down that road, though. He didn't care what happened to some slutty cheerleader and her unfortunate suitor. It did, however, mean he now needed a smooth way to extricate himself from the conversation. Concocting a plan took him about two seconds.

He continued to fiddle with his phone under the table, out of sight, casually thumbing the ring tone selector to make it ring out. He pushed the red button, silencing the ring, and raised it to his ear.

"Hello? Mom?" he said, then paused.

"Uh huh... Uh huh... Got it; I'll be right there."

He pushed the red button again, then stood up, stretched, and said, "Well, I've got to run. My mom got my message after all. See you around school. I hope your romantic endeavors are more successful in the future, Rizzo."

Then he walked off, leaving his trash on the table, wondering just where in the mall he could lurk now that the food court wasn't available.

((Aaron Hughes continued in Too Good for Prom))

Angst and Sullenness in Saint Paul
Kimberly smiled, waved goodbye, thanked Lily for her offer, and then, once the girl was gone, wandered back into the alley.

It was no good, though. The brief social interaction had inspired her in an entirely different way, and she just could not return to her sullen, upset state. Fuck. Her poem would never get done if she was happy.

Well, it wasn't really as bad as that. Her grandparents were sure to piss her off again before too long. It would just have to wait until then.

Having decided, Kimberly left the alley and headed home.

((Kimberly Nguyen continued in MIA))

OFFICIAL SOTF CHATROOM
What exactly is entailed in an IRC server? Is it a real server, as in, a physical computer someone has to own? Or is it just something you can build online?

Violetta "Jane" Lindsberg
Hey, Tyth, please only post one character at a time, per the announcement. I'm tossing Markham, Andrew, and Violetta in the denied forum for now. You can repost them one at a time as your other characters clear.