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The password is "faust".

Just Another Night
Dorothy explained where she was coming from: some sort of crazy party, where everyone had been drunk. Jennifer did not find that to be particularly encouraging news; "everyone" most likely included Dorothy herself. Jennifer could just imagine a scene between Dorothy and Ben brewing. Ben didn't exactly seem to be paying attention to what he was saying, making comments in questionable taste, and Dorothy seemed to be in the mood for some sort of conflict or gloating or something, given her insistence on sharing how "exclusive" the party had been. Ben in turn responded with a single word that could mean just about anything, which was never a good way to deal with strangers who might be looking for a reason to be upset.

Alright: think. Time for preemptive damage control. Fuck. This was supposed to be peaceful.

"Yeah, I, um, wasn't at the party," Jennifer said.

She wants to share, right? I can let her talk about the party, and maybe she'll ignore Ben. That'd make him happiest, right?

"How was it?"

She didn't really care, of course. Jennifer didn't really like parties much; they were almost invariably too much trouble. She only went when her friends dragged her, which was not all that frequently. One of the primary benefits of having a social circle made up primarily of underclassmen was that they were never able to get into too much trouble. It was far harder for a 15 year old to manage to get hold of a keg than for an 18 year old to perform the same feat.

Amber Whimsy
Hi Slam! Amber's profile is a very good start, but she is temporarily DENIED.

The only thing I'd really like to see is a bit more about Amber added, particularly her life outside of school, as right now, besides soap operas and jogging, I don't have a very clear picture of it.

Oh, also, I think you mean "sedentary", not "sedimentary". That's all, though. Post once you've got that fixed up, and I'll give Amber another look. Thanks!

Eleutherea
Almost as soon as he turned back to his notebook, Aimee spoke up, and Aaron looked up, suppressing a wide grin. This was going to be good. Aimee was normally one of the people who played along with Mr. Howard's game. She was probably counting on that to save her, but Aaron wasn't so sure that would be how it panned out. Mr. Howard might view it as some sort of crazy betrayal or something, and get even madder.

Then she had to go and taunt him. Aaron's eyes widened a little. That was a bad move. A really bad move. He could almost feel for Mr. Howard; incompetent and mean-spirited though he was, he was being given an incredibly hard time. There didn't even seem to be any real reason for it, either. It was just a stupid spelling mistake. Had Aaron been in the teacher's position, he knew he wouldn't have handled it nearly as calmly. Then again, he also wouldn't have let himself misspell a vocabulary term.

Then it came. The rant, the threats. Mr. Howard could have been a villain in a bad movie, berating the hero before feeding him (well, her) to a pit of piranhas or something stupid like that. He even ended with the predictable threat of time with the principal. It wasn't even that serious a threat; Principal Kendrick was pretty strict, sure, but he was almost certainly far more pleasant than Mr. Howard.

Then, ego appeased, he returned to the lesson. Aaron glanced around the classroom, taking looks at those involved while trying not to get caught. He noticed Dustin passing something in Aimee's general direction and cringed. Aaron was not exactly in the loop about most people's reputations at school, but he wasn't totally ignorant either. Dustin turning his attention towards some girl was almost certainly bad news for her. Still, it might at least add some tension to this class. Anything that lessened the boredom would be welcome. This day had been better than most, with the outburst, but it still was nowhere near genuinely entertaining.

In The Park
Everett considered Lily's statement. It was true; there almost certainly was someone who would be willing to take over his duties at the park. Of course, they'd probably fall into Lily's second category, and be people who didn't care at all, and only wanted to bolster their resumes.

Hypocrite.

How could he condemn people like that, even for a second? After all, he was one of them. He'd never have started coming to the park if he hadn't thought it would make him look better to colleges. He'd only grown to care about it in time. Why should he assume that his replacement would be any different? It wasn't fair at all to hold other people to a higher standard than he held himself.

Lily picked up some more trash, then cursed about it. She then apologized for the swearing, which caused Everett to smile a little. People often assumed he was uptight about swearing and other things of the sort because of how he dressed and acted, and they were pretty much right. He didn't care about swearing for its own sake, but the disrespect it usually carried with it was disturbing to him. He knew that swear words carried some power, and it bothered him that so many of his peers casually threw them around.

"No problem," he replied to Lily, "and thanks. I'll ask around the school, maybe bug some of the freshmen on the honor list or something."

The park looked a lot better now. Everett gestured ahead of them, at the few remaining patches of garbage.

"We can probably have this cleaned up in a couple minutes. Afterwards I can toss the bag. There's a public dumpster on the other side. Thanks again for your help; you've made it go a lot faster."

Also, you dealt with the condom. I'm really, really glad I didn't have to handle that...

Ambigious Plans
((Hey guys, I already shot Dirge a PM about this, but I might as well post it here, too. SOTF V4 is set in the summer of 2008, so your movie references are off by almost two years. Just letting you know before the thread goes too far.))

Away
So, I've been swamped with holiday and family stuff for the past two days, and will continue to be for the next two. I'll be keeping up with critiques, and I will be around (maybe), but I probably won't be getting much in the way of posts up until Sunday. Apologies.

Aston Bennett- Edited
Hey Inifinity, if you've edited Aston, could you actually post? Changing the title and tags is a touch more confusing. If you've done the edits, just toss a reply here and I'll give Aston another look.

Perry Mahoney
This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested from the staff.

Vivian Paine
Alright, thanks for the edits! Vivian is APPROVED for pregame.

Vivian Paine
Thanks for the changes! There are still a few things I'd liked to see adjusted before I approve Vivian for pregame.

First off, I still don't know about her interest in diseases. It seems very particular, and I'd like to know where it comes from and how she acts on it.

Second, I'd like to know more about Vivian's medical interests and knowledge, since it's one of her advantages. Has she taken a first aid class?

Third, I'd like Vivian's comfort with gore explained a bit more. Does it spring from her medial interests, where she would have probably seen at least pictures of injured people?

Finally, I'd like to know a little about Vivian's life before her mother's death. What was the family like then? Was her personality similar to what it is now? Was she close to her mother?

Post when you've got things edited, and I'll take another look!

Vivian Paine
Alright! The template looks good.

Vivian is temporarily DENIED. There are a couple of things I'd like you to add before I approve her for pregame.

First off, I'd like you give Vivian an actual height and weight. It helps people visualize the character. It would also be great if you added a little more detail to Vivian's clothing choices.

Vivian's bio could use a lot more detail. I'd like to know more about her interest in diseases, to start with. Also, how old was she when her mother died? How did the death affect her? Such a major event needs more elaboration.

I'd also like to know more about Vivian's early life in general. Right now I only have a good view of her current situation, not how she got there. I'd aldo like to know how she interacts with people, as right now all you say is that she is introverted. Her interest in medicine should also be elaborated on.

Vivian's advantages and disadvantages also need tweaking. Everything in them should flow logically from her bio, and probably should be mentioned there. Also, interest in the horror genre in no way prepares people for blood and violence in real life.

Finally, her disadvantages are a touch on the weak side. No student going in to SOTF should be comfortable killing their classmates or have an easy time adjusting to the island, and a lack of combat ability is the norm rather than a disadvantage (combat ability is actually a serious advantage). If Vivian has a stronger than normal aversion to violence, I'd like to see that clarified. Lack of athleticism is a good disadvantage. You should probably toss another in there too.

If you need any help figuring out what we're looking for, check out this character creation guide, and some of our Approved Registrations, such as Dylan Plath and Annaliese Hansen.

Once you've got Vivian edited, post here and I'll give her another look. Thanks a ton!

Aston Bennett- Edited
Hi Infinity, and welcome to SOTF!

Aston is temporarily DENIED. There are a few things I'd like to see fixed before I approve her for pregame.

First off, I'd like to know Aston's eye color.

Secondly, I'd like more detail about Aston's hyper-competitive and narcissistic nature. There seem to be a lot of contradictions; you say that she only cooperates when necessary and doesn't have many friends, but then you list her loyalty to her friends in her advantages and disadvantages. I want to know where that loyalty comes from, and what sort of person it applies to. You also say she's a good sport, but also sharp, sarcastic, callous, and uncaring. How does that work? Does she act differently towards people in sports?

I'm also worried about Aston's personality, because right now it seems evident that you intend her to be a "player" (someone who willingly takes part in the killing aspect of SOTF). There's nothing wrong with having a character who does kill in SOTF, we just prefer the transition from normal high school student to someone willing to do bad things to be handled in-game, in a realistic manner. Right now, I'm worried about Aston's hyper-competitive nature combined with the phrase "the truth is she will do anything to win when no rules are set. " This seems pretty tailored to describe the SOTF situation, and I'd rather see it edited a bit so it no longer sounds like she'll willingly kill anyone in game.

Post here when you've got things edited, and I'll give Aston another look!

High Gloss Highs
"Oh, I don't really know," Kimberly replied to Peter. It was true; she wasn't sure how drunk she was going to get. Not that drunk, but, well, not sober either. Some happy medium that didn't impair motor functions too badly.

"I still need to find my way back home sometime in the next twelve hours or so," she clarified, "and it'd be best if I could, you know, make it inside without hurling all over everything."

Then the whole atmosphere went straight to hell. Someone came in with Jello shots, and loud girl found her way to the kitchen, and the whole space wasn't that big to begin with, so Kimberly started feeling like she couldn't even breath or move without elbowing someone in an awkward part of their anatomy.

She turned to Peter and said, quite loudly, "Fuck this noise! What d'you say we take that bottle somewhere away from this mess, and leave the kids with their Jello shots?"

She didn't actually know what was in the bottle, but it had caused Peter to question her about her desired intoxication level, so it was sure to be pretty good. If they got away from everyone, they could keep it to themselves, and, more importantly, they could get out of this horrible press of people. Kimberly hoped that all the glass had been successfully cleaned up, because otherwise there would almost certainly soon be some very unhappy campers in this sardine can of a room.

Just Another Night
Ben started explaining his evening's activities, which apparently involved destroying old sofas. Jennifer smiled slightly. Bayview was a public high school, a place where individuality went to die, but her classmates constantly surprised her, bucking trends and social expectations and finding ways to be more interesting. It was something she wished she was strong enough to do.

Ben started to say something as someone else spoke, causing Jennifer to jump and Ben to scream. That was not what she had been expecting. The new person was another girl from Bayview, one whose name Jennifer had on the tip of her tongue but could not quite conjure. Fortunately, Ben quickly supplied it, after a brief complaint. A brief complaint and a fairly bizarre and awkward comment about Jennifer's activities.

Wait, what the fuck? I can speak for myself.

She nearly said something, but then just took a little breath. It didn't matter. There was no point worrying. Ben was probably just trying to cover up his earlier antics. He was probably horrifically embarrassed. Jennifer would have been, in his shoes. Fortunately, she had never been the sort to scream when surprised. Gasps, yes, but never anything like what Ben had done.

"I'm, um, justing enjoying the, um, night," Jennifer said, realizing that the term "evening" didn't really apply any more.

"Um, what brings you here Dorothy?"

That was the right track. People usually inquired about others because they wanted to be asked about themselves. Most people loved talking about themselves, and Jennifer didn't mind furnishing them with opportunities. Most people were really quite interesting when she got to know them.

Eleutherea
The second bell rang, and Mr. Howard began class, and his usual boring lecture. Aaron wished he could just check out and sleep with his eyes open or something, but that was one skill he had never acquired. He took out a notebook and started taking notes, pausing to doodle in the margins. Mr. Howard was talking about something called "Eleutherea", which sounded like a cheap '50s sci-fi flick. That brought up some interesting ideas. What if there were a world where all government was handled according to the dictates of old fiction? Aaron started writing about that, but then Mr. Howard called on Dustin, rather loudly.

Aaron snapped his head around. Apparently Dustin had actually fallen asleep. Aaron had to choke back a laugh. Dustin was absolutely screwed now. Mr. Howard was a terrible teacher, but at least witnessing his wrath (from a safe distance) was amusing. Aaron began attempting to calculate the odds of Dustin getting detention, but math just wasn't coming. Besides, it was a near sure bet.

Then Dustin did the impossible, guessing the answer to the teacher's question, a trick question, no less. Aaron frowned. Of course it was a trick question. Mr. Howard never played fair when he had prey in sight. No, like some evil, intellectual housecat he toyed with his targets a little first. Dustin had escaped, though. It was rather disappointing. Class would return now to the dull mundanity of a typical day.

Just when everything had seemed to calm down, Harold had to go and mutter something under his breath, again drawing Mr. Howard's ire. Now Aaron did smile. He didn't really know Harold at all, but from what he knew, he didn't like the boy. Harold seemed so full of himself, an opinion that was reinforced as he corrected Mr. Howard on his Greek. Who bothered learning Greek? That was what dictionaries were for. Aaron was smart, but that meant more than just spouting pretentious intellectual crap. He was smart enough to know when to let the internet do the work for him.

Harold, like Dustin, wriggled off of Mr. Howard's hook. It was weird.

I wonder if someone finally figured out that he's rabid. Maybe they've medicated him.

Aaron almost giggled. Almost. He managed to restrain himself, though. There was no point in testing the teacher, especially not after he'd been denied the opportunity for vengeance twice already.

Taking a couple of deep breaths, and hoping the next interruption would prove more diverting, Aaron continued to scribble in his notebook.

In The Park
Everett sighed.

"Yeah, recruiting some new people would probably be a good idea. I just... I've been really busy with stuff, you know, just trying to make it to the end of the year. I guess I should try to find some way to let people know..."

He trailed off. He really hadn't been putting much thought into doing anything for Saint Paul in the future. Actually, he had pretty much been planning to go off to college somewhere far away from the city, probably far from Minnesota, and never think about it again. Really, though, what would he have accomplished then? What was the point of cleaning up a park for as long as he had if it would just go to pieces when he left? Sure, it had probably made some people happy, but why not take a chance to do something real, something lasting?

"I don't suppose you know any likely freshmen," he said, bending to scoop up a hamburger wrapper.

Celeste Beaumont
Thanks for the edits! Celeste is APPROVED for pregame!

Vivian Paine
Hi Vivian! Please edit your profile to match this template, including the bolding of subject headers. Post here when you've got that done and someone will give you a full critique. Thanks!