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James George Custer

V3 Mafia Game Thread
Vote Count:

land (4): Solomir, Vole, banthesun, harnrave

Not Voting (7): land, polybius, CJanosi, Sister G, TDS, face, Mimi, Sunny

12 alive, 7 to lynch.

v4 Concepts Relapse
If they're denied though, that means they aren't actually in the class/year/whatever. But anyway.

I've always found this as a bit of an odd issue. I understand why it's disliked, because people might abuse it to make somebody incredibly tough, but in all honesty... the only profiles I've seen denied off the basis of martial arts also had much much more wrong with them.

Most things, in my opinion, can be written well, and that includes a martial arts backgrounds. I don't see why somebody should be asked to remove somehting like that just because another person got there in their profile first. Yes, everyone wants the RP to be realistic, but with stuff like this... well, it would be like having a list up at the top of the site saying 'No more martial artists allowed, we've filled our allotted quota of three already'

Anyway my view is that there are some things that the 'hyper-realism' attitude could and possibly should be relaxed on.

V3 Mafia Game Thread
For emphasis. I usually italicise things to do that, but obviously I write night results in that.

Vote Count:

land (1): Solomir

Not Voting (11): land, polybius, Vole, CJanosi, Sister G, TDS, banthesun, face, Mimi, Sunny, harnrave

Needing more participation from Sister G, Mimi and harnrave. (although I'm aware Sister G is away so she is forgiven... for now)

Craig Hoyle

Darius Wright
Excellent first effort. The thing with the clubs is fine.


Stacy Hart
Temporarily Denied.

I'd like to see a bit more detail in the appearance, for example the shape of Stacy's face, the structure of it. Her eyebrows, whether her lips are full or thin - that sort of thing.

The only other thing bothering me is why Stacy's parents took such a laissez-faire approached to her rebellion, as that wasn't really explored too much. Similarly, what made Stacy decide to start doing that in the first place, sure you say it's to 'rebel' - but why go 'puink' as opposed to anything else?

Anyway, it's very minor, so don't be discouraged.

Thea Kairos

Dean Phillips
Temporarily Denied. Much like James, there are a great deal of niggling grammatical errors bringing this down, and it requires a couple more proof reads to sort out this problems. For example...

' brown eyes and, since a month, a small chin beard,'

'he is missing on of his front teeth'

'his family runs now for two generations.'

There are others, so I urge you to give this a close look over. If there are still problems though, I'll happily go over this in the same way I did for James.

Apart from this, there's also something bothering me. Does Dean actually have ADD? If so, then I find it unlikely that all he does for it is play baseball. I'm sure he would be on some kind of medication, because I'm more or less certain that a car accident wouldn't cure that sort of condition.

In addition, advantages/disadvantages need to be written in full sentences, and you need to add more to both collumns.

V3 Mafia Game Thread
In the depths of the night, Adam Dodd once again took it upon himself to try and rid the island of the last few players and end the game once and for all. Scouting through the jungle, he spied Solomir. Remembering how suspicious he had acted in the preceeding day, Adam decided that Solomir was a likely enough target.

However, as Adam approached the other student, somebody blocked his path, brandishing a shotgun.

"Jackson? Get the hell out of my way!" the shotgun-toting Keith shook his head, and remained adamantly between Adam and Solomir.

"Fine, I won't hesitate to take BOTH of you the fuck out!" as Adam brought his gun to bear though, Keith was also aiming his shotgun. The deep boom of the shotgun mingled with the sharper crack of the pistol, and both students collapsed.

Misunderstandings could be terrible things...


Meanwhile, with a task in mind, Kallie Majors found herself away from the camp, all by herself. That put her on edge a little, but she reminded herself that her friends would be counting on her.

However, a pair of eyes were closely observing Kallie, and not physically, but as a resonating dot on the screen of a small device.

"Well, well, looky here..." they murmured, before getting into position.

Kallie looked around anxiously, thinking that she'd heard something, but saw nothing. Just as she was starting to relax, a figure leapt from the undegrowth in front of her and sliced her throat with a practiced swing of his shiv. As Kallie slumped down, the person cursed, their makeshift weapon broken.

All the same, the person left the scene chuckling.

"One down and a bunch more to go..." Harry Tsai muttered.


Corbin Arlen had been keeping an eye out for most of the night. His abilities were limited, but that didn't stop him from doing everything he could to help his fellow students.

On this occasion though, staring out into the jungle proved to be a grave mistake for Corbin. So focused was he on observing what was happening outside of camp, he failed to notice somebody creeping up behind him, and didn't even realise anybody was there until a knife found its mark at the base of his skull. He folded up silently.

"Add another notch for the Riz," the killer said with a grin before melting into the shadows.


Later that night, Solomir was making his way through the camp - perhaps embarking on an errand, or perhaps returning from a deadly deed... as he was moving, however, somebody came out of nowhere, hitting him from behind with a huge football tackle and bearing him to the ground.

Solomir was so dazed that he had to stay where he was to regain his composure, and by the time he managed this, morning was breaking, and it was too late for him to do anything else. Then again... who was to say the damage hadn't already been done?


ZeM - Keith Jackson, Special Bodyguard (He would die in place of his protectee, but also kill the attacker)
Yoss - Adam Dodd, Vigilante
Adam- Kallie Majors, Paranoid Doctor
(Adam would also roleblock whoever he protected)
Zehk - Corbin Arlen, Tracker

The parts in brackets were unknown to the players themselves.

Sister G

Clueless as American Agent - Red Shirt. Night 0
Clu as Carson Baye - Hapless Victim. Night 0

Genosser as Bobby Jacks - Mafia Hitman. Day 1
Anderson as Trish McCarroll - Jack of All Trades. Night 1
Moth as Alice Jones - Insane Cop. Night 1
ZeM as Keith Jackson - Special Bodyguard. Night 2
Yoss as Adam Dodd - Vigilante. Night 2
Adam as Kallie Majors - Paranoid Doctor. Night 2
Zehk as Corbin Arlen - Tracker. Night 2

With 12 alive, it's 7 to lynch. Your deadline is Thursday the 2nd of July, 20:00 GMT.

V3 Mafia Game Thread
Whooops, I overran here. Write up to come tomorrow. If you haven't action'ed yet this is your last chance.

Looking for 'Company'
Rock hard...? Why, that's a bit naughty in front of your girlfriend don't you think?

Rosa's head wasn't quite on straight - heck, wasn't on straight at all. The drink had all suddenly caught up with her at once, and Rosa wasn't a very graceful drunk. It was astonishing that she hadn't said her comment to Teo out loud. Not that she would have minded, but it probably would have caused trouble, what with his girlfriend being right next to him and everything. Rosa lacked tack at the best of times, and whilst drunk, it was safe to say that it became non-existent.

The Fiametta awkwardly made her way to her feet, picking up the pool cue she'd dropped on the way. Taking a measured step back over to the table, she replaced the cue, although it took her a couple of attempts to actually get it into the rack. Rosa was about to follow Teo's suggestion and go back over to Leftowitz and Jennifer to find a replacement, when somebody stepped in to deftly fill in the gap.

Oh hey there cutey... it's that Dustin guy from school.

Dustin Royal had a bit of a reputation - much like Rosa's own, but she didn't like to judge people. After all, she'd been condemned plenty for her 'loose' behavour by a whole lot of people - none of whom knew the real story. Not even Frankie and Ilario. They thought she was just sex-crazed or something...

Due to this, Rosa didn't take it for granted that Dustin was some kind of creep, although quite unfortunately, drawing her own conclusions meant that she missed the observation that sometimes rumours had good basis...

"Hey, I know how to uh... handle myself," Rosa said to Robert with a wink, ignoring the warning for the sake of the rather blatent euphanism. Not that'd she'd have done much different if she wasn't drunk... the only probable variation would have been her actually taking note of what Robert had said.

Now... Dustin... you're looking a lot more available than Teo right now.

Medication Vs. My Danya
I don't truthfully see the necessity in reviving a topic when you don't actually have anything helpful to contribute to its content.

Where East Meets West
Business cards... if Rosa hadn't already been giving Felicia a devillish smirk then she definitely would have broken out into a smile at the gesture from Eiko. She wouldn't have been able to help herself. Eiko couldn't be older than eighteen, yet she was already acting like the perfect businesswoman. She really did need to loosen up.

Yeah well, age didn't stop me from doing what I wanted did it? At least she's thought about the future further then her next fuck.

"Hm? Oh yeah, I was just finishing this," Rosa gestured to the remains of her roll. "Dropping the cutlery slowed me down a little."

Well that was a lie, Rosa had actually just being... her smile widened as she saw Felicia's reaction. Bang on the money. That was unmistakeably a blush, but then, it hadn't exactly taken a genius to notice that Rosa had already been getting to the other girl.

"Catch you later Felicia," Rosa flicked the tomboy a quick wink as she turned to begin walking away, before she herself stood up, looking to Eiko.

"Well, it was nice to meet you Eiko, we'd better get to class. I'll guess I'll be seeing you around."

Mmmm... been a while since I was last with a girl. I might have to get to know Felicia a little better sometime...

It was, all in all, a rather productive morning.

((I don't link Memory threads, so yeah, she has left))

It's Dating Time!
Jessie didn't mind where they ate, and she doubted DK cared that much, but softly, softly right?

In due time, they'd both sat down and were waiting for their food. Jessie couldn't really think of a ecent conversation starter, and by DK's sarcastic remark, it seemed he couldn't either. It was funny though, all the same, and she couldn't help but giggle a little. .. Was that the humour though, or just her own silliness?

"So I know you're pretty into golf," 'pretty into'? He played in tournaments and everything... ugh, that was a stupid thing to say. "Are you planning on going anywhere with that, or do you have anything else in mind for college?"

Oh good, I managed to get that out without babbling, and only one stupid thing, that's an improvement.

Maybe it was something a little odd to talk about whilst waiting for pizza, but eh, when you were their age and other subjects had either been trodden over (music) or were verging on uncomfortable (relationships, hockey), there wasn't exactly a whole lot else to talk about.

James George Custer
Jun 20 2009, 07:26 PM
Name: James George Custer II
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade:  12th grade
School: Bayview Secondary School
Hobbies and Interests: Chess, School Chess Team, general strategies, jogging

Appearance: With 6'0 he is quite tall for an eighteen years old. Due to his jogging, he is in a good shape without being overly muscular. He has short, black hair, trimmed to one length with a clipper, blue eyes behind a black, horn-rimmed pair of glasses – he is slightly shortsighted- and Spock like eyebrows. With prominent cheekbones and small, pale lips, which do not smile often outside of the chess club, he isn't exactly beautiful.

He doesn't care for his appearance and normally wears a white t-shirt, a bluejeans with a black leather belt and the same, worn-out shoes. The only exception are the sport clothes for his jogging, he owns always the newest and most expansive runners you can get, together with the latest sportswear.

Biography: James grew up in a normal, upper-class neighborhood, with a stay-at-home mum and a working father and up to his 7th birthday was a normal, unremarkable little boy. Maybe a little bit shier than your average six-year-old, he didn't had any close friends and spent most of his afternoons alone in his room.

But then his paternal grandfather, after whom he was named, fell ill and moved in with only son, James' father, to spend his last days with his relatives. Since the old man soon lost the ability to walk and both parents were often busy with work or community activities and James was mostly at home anyway, he started spending a lot time with his Grandpa, learning the old man's favorite game, chess. James loved it. Trying to outsmart the opponent and to see through his strategy, while at the same time being forced to adjust your own strategy to your opponents every moves. (This doesn't seem like a complete idea - it seems to begin in the middle of a sentence, and then finishes without elaboration) James spent all his time with the dying man, playing chess with him.

When his grandfather finally died, the then eight year old James was shocked and traumatized, refused to speak to anybody and holed himself up in his room with his grandfather's chessboard, until his mother, acting upon the advice of a psychologist, applied him for the local youth chess club.

That was the defining moment in James life. Chess became the linchpin of his life. Every minute outside of school, he spent with chess. He got social contact almost exclusively over the club ('from the club' appears better here) and became quickly one of the best young players in the state. With his interest in this board game came an interest in general strategies and tactics. When he wasn't playing, he read books about the game's history and theory or the development of strategies and tactics over the history of mankind.

When he started attending [color=redBayview High it#39], he joined their chess team and soon became one of the most successful players, helping to make the team one of the most successful teams of the school.
Hence this ('because of this' or 'Due to this' perhaps), he is, while not really a part of the popular crowd, still accepted by them and occasionally invited to their parties, but, all in all, is still part of the nerdy population of the school.

When puberty kicked in and he had to realize that girls weren't really into overweighted chess players, he started the only sport he could practice alone and began with jogging, surprisingly finding himself really enjoying it. If he needs to clear his head or calm down, he normally goes jogging through the local park. 

James doesn't really care much for school. As long as his exam will be good enough to allow him to enter a proper university ('as long as his exam results are good enough' ? ), he is satisfied with it and so, he doesn't learn more than necessary. He still has no real close friends and mostly spends his time at school with his fellow chess players. Asides from chess and the interests of every eighteen years old boy, he has no real other hobbies or strengths. [color-yellow]If he wouldn't be (if he wasn't)[/color] a very good chess player, few people would properly notice his existence at all.

The best way to really piss him of is any pun related to 'General Custer'. He had to listen to this kind (these kinds) of jokes ever since he entered school and if people really want to make him angry, this is the best way.

Advantages: He is pretty smart and knows a bit more about strategies and tactics than you would expect from a normal high school student. Due to his jogging he has a good endurance.

Disadvantages: James isn't very strong and has zero fighting experience. He isn't charismatic and hasn't any other remarkable skills at all.

Temporarily denied again - most off the basis of grammar.

Errors have been highlighted in yellow.

Brandon Connolly

It's Dating Time!
((Jessie continued from Motown Never Sounded So Good))

Jessie was having a hard time quelling her feelings of excitement, which had been building steadily as she moved through the mall with DK, chatting about various things - from music, to hockey, to golf. She just couldn't help how she was feeling, although she was doing her best to inwardly play things down. DK was taking her for something to eat as a friend, nothing more than that - there was no way he could be having feelings for her.

That's what Jessie kept telling herself anyway. It wasn't really helping a whole lot.

Having made it to the bottom floor of the mall and the foo court - which as always was bustling with activity, Jessie turned to DK with a smile to ask him a question.

"So... uh, pizza. Is there a chain that you prefer or do you not mind?"

Although Jessie personally didn't see why a different 'brand' of pizza would make any difference to another, she really didn't want to step on DK's toes. She could worry about things a little too much at times, but if that wasn't something Jessie did, she wouldn't have had such a good reputation around Bayview for helpful and friendliness. With every good came some bad. Every silver lining had its cloud.

Okay... chill out, he's just being friendly, don't get all dizzy over him.

Master Exploder
((Winston continued from: Singalong))

Privately, Winston Parry still very much regarded himself as the odd man out in Blank Nation, although Warren wasn't exactly your typical 'Punk'. He'd seen the odd pictures of himself at one or the other of the band's gigs, and he just looked... bizarre. A short, blond guy in a white outfit standing in front of people like Maria and Zach singing... although he supposed it would have been weirder if he was the leader. That position happily went to Zach.

All the same... Winston had said it before and would probably say it again... Punk lyrics coming from somebody like him made for a peculiar sight and sound, and he was well aware of it. ... But still, if he enjoyed it, why should that even matter?

Winston pulled into the parking lot of the White Stallion, carefully handling his car. It had been a gift from his father, and although it wasn't top of the line or anything, he certainly didn't want to crash it. Winston spotted Maria and Zach already there, along with a couple of other people that Winston knew. One was a familiar face at their gigs - Maxwell Crowe. The guy just loved his music, and he was even wearing that custom Blank Nation shirt that he had. The other guy Winston... didn't really recognise. Maybe he was one of Maria's friends or something.

Winston killed the car's engine and stepped out, making doubly sure that it was locked. He tried to be careful at all times, especially with his posessions. Just because his family was wealthy didn't mean he took things he owned for granted.

"Hey! Hey!" Winston called out as he approached his band and class mates."You all excited? I could barely sit still earlier."

Here's hoping something else won't be making me squirm.

WDG - The Results!
In no particular order...


Here's my storyline:

The story begins with the narrator rambling about something inconsequential, giving the typical fantasy story background, and invoking tons of tropes. Finally, he gets around to introducing the hero of our story: Beeman. Beeman is setting out to destroy a shadowy evil bent on utterly controlling the entire world.

Unfortunately, Beeman doesn't have a clue where to begin. He's new to being a superhero. He heads out on his own anyways, though, wandering aimlessly in the hopes that some clue will find him. He passes a strange restaurant run by a creature named Goblin Dan. The narrator insists that he stop in for lunch, and Beeman grudgingly agrees. He orders a burger, and talks to the restaurant's owner.

Goblin Dan says he has heard about this shadowy evil, but doesn't care enough to do anything about it; after all, he's already a rich restaurant tycoon. The narrator, however, helpfully points out two beings sitting in a corner: Perrault the cat and Lord Manpower the Temporary. Beeman goes over to them.

At this point, the narrator tries to explain that they are to form a party to face the evil; the heroes are having none of it, though, and refuse to even talk with each other. They claim the narrator is unable to explain anything well, and thus they should not be expected to go along with his rantings. The narrator summons Hamstard, who explains the rules of the universe: what the narrator says, goes. He then proceeds to inform them that they will form a team and defeat the evil, implying that a horrible fate will befall them otherwise.

The heroes wander around for a while, getting diverted by various side plots. Perrault proves his cleverness, and Beeman proves his bravery and inexperience. Lord Manpower doesn't do all that much.

Finally, the exasperated narrator tells the group that they must find and defeat Dr. Schlock, the evil villain. The narrator alleges that the group has missed really obvious foreshadowing: A Dr.Schlock baseball cap was seen in the bar, and there has been a doctor in each town the group has passed through. The heroes are unconvinced, and require another lecture from Hamstard to convince them that playing along is in their best interests.

They head to Dr. Schlock's secret laboratory. There, they hatch a daring plan to break in, but in the end just walk up to the door and knock. A laser defense system activates, and kills Lord Manpower by burning him to a crisp. The remaining two heroes retreat.

Eventually, Perrault simply claims to be Dr. Schlock. The security system deactivates, letting them in. They find Dr. Schlock in the control room, asleep over a cup of coffee. The narrator tells them to kill him. However, Beeman notices a strange machine in the corner, and investigates it first. Inside is Manny the Molecule. He asks what Beeman is doing.

Beeman explains the situation, and Manny asks why he's following the Narrators instructions. Beeman tells about Hamstard and his threats. Manny points out that the narrator sounds far more like the villain than Dr. Schlock does. The narrator attempts to silence him but fails. Dr. Schlock wakes up, and teams u with the heroes, as they fight the narrator, who possesses the body of Hamstard to battle the heroes. He is vanquished, but, with no one left to tell the story, the ending is left open and unresolved, leaving sequel potential.


For a long time now, Black Mage has wanted to destroy the world. Unfortunately his adventures with the Light Warriors have been forcing him to delay his plans. But, eventually his quests with them came to an end and he finally found himself alone and able to complete his lifelong dream of annihilating life.

If he was to succeed, the first thing that Black Mage would have to do would be to recruit henchmen. After all, what is a good evil mastermind without henchmen? So he put up flyers and billboards and began recruiting for his villainous schemes

Unfortunately, henchmen are hard to find these days. So the only people who joined up with Black Mage were a bum by the name of Dr. Hobo and a frat boy calling himself Fetus. And they only joined his army because they happened to be really drunk at the time. Black Mage immediately decided that he’d need to find more minions. And since he was having so much trouble with recruitment, he decided that he would be best off taking another evil wizard’s henchmen.

So, Black Mage, Fetus, and Dr. Hobo adventured far and wide, in search of an evil army to steal. Eventually their travels landed them in Isengard, where he found Saruman and his Orc army. Black Mage decided that Saruman’s army would be a great one to use, so he confronted Saruman and told him of his intent to take Saruman’s army.

Obviously, Saruman did not like the idea of letting his hard-earned army get taken away by some nameless mage. So he and Black Mage engage in a magical Winner-Takes-All battle to the death.

And of course, Black Mage emerged the victor. As it turns out, Middle Earth wizards don’t actually seem to know that many magic spells. With Saruman dead, Black Mage was now in control of an entire army. As a reward for their services, Fetus and Dr. Hobo were made Lieutenants in Black Mage’s army as the army headed to the nearest city.

Black Mage’s army soon arrived in a big city and started wreaking havoc. They slaughtered innocents, toppled buildings, and just generally made a huge mess. So, the government decided to intervene. They sent a giant Warbot in to battle Black Mage.

Unfortunately for humanity in general, the warbot turned out to be an accountant. So it had no military experience whatsoever. Black Mage easily dismantled the Warbot and continued a rampage. And, since Warbots are so damn expensive, the government decided to just crawl into underground bunkers and let Black Mage’s rampage continue.

Black Mage’s successes soon gave him quite the reputation. More and more evildoers began flocking to join Black Mage’s army, glad to finally have an evil overlord who was succeeding for once. Among these evil recruits were Wanda Firebraugh and Bogroll, who had gotten tired of their old master and headed off to find new employment.

Black Mage found himself in love from the moment that he first laid eyes upon Wanda. She was everything that Black Mage could ever have looked for in a woman. She was evil, wore skimpy clothing, and was female. His dream woman. So Black Mage immediately made Wanda his second-in-command and gave Bogroll a Lieutenant position.

Of course, Wanda would not give in to Black Mage’s advances. After all, she still had some self respect. But she was still glad to have so much power over such a large army.

The army continued marching across the world, causing mayhem wherever it went. Soon enough, Black Mage had successfully conquered the world. All he had to do now was destroy it. Unfortunately, he hadn’t taken the time to figure out how to do that.

So, Black Mage sat down with Wanda and his lieutenants to come up with a way of destroying the world. It was there that he would make a shocking discovery about the people leading his army. They weren’t actually evil.

Wanda had only joined up with Black Mage’s army because they were the winning team. Dr. Hobo had no idea of where he was. Fetus was only hanging around because of a prolonged drinking binge. And Bogroll was just kind of following Wanda around. None of them actually wanted to destroy the world.

So Black Mage decided to just blast a Hadoken into the center of the Earth and be done with it. Unfortunately, mere seconds before Black Mage could successfully shoot the Hadoken, he found himself literally being smote by the hand of god.

As it turns out, God has always deeply hated Black Mage, something which BM has suspected for many years. So, after allowing Black Mage to come within seconds of achieving his dreams, God immediately crushed those dreams like grapes and banished Black Mage to an eternity of suffering.

So, with Black Mage gone, his army just kind of wandered home and peace was restored to Earth. Everybody who wasn’t dead headed back to their old lives and the status quo was successfully restored.

The end.


The comic begins with Death of being wrestled to Death by Steve going back to the underworld with the latest person to be wrestled to death by Steve: Norman Frohman. Death of being wrestled to Death by Steve sends him down to the underworld (which is like a giant prison) and Norman meets his new "cellmate", Prince Ansom of Jetstone. Back in the world of the living, Paul discovers a hidden subliminal message in Metal Gear Solid 4 about an evil plot by Dr. Breen and Stanley the Tool to summon Cthulhoo.

Before he can spread this information, he is swiftly wrestled to death, and Death of being wrestled to Death by Steve comes and collects him.

As Paul explains what he saw to Death of being wrestled to Death by Steve, Death of being wrestled to Death by Steve decides to give him one last shot at life, as long as he stops the summoning of Cthulhoo. To help Paul, Death of being wrestled to Death by Steve also gives Norman and Ansom the same ultimatum.

They travel to City 17, and cfight their way up the Citadel, along the way unintentionaly liberating mankind and giving the "humens hop" and confront Dr. Breen, who promptly blows Ansom and Paul away with a gravity gun, and him and Norman engage in a large fight.

In his dying breath, Dr. Breen tells Norman that the True villain was the Demon roach, and that it was too late to stop Cthulhoo being summoned.

The comic ends with Paul, Ansom and Norman regrouping, and the Demon Roach gloating about his victory, before being devoured by the summoned Cthulhoo.


Late one night Angelina is contacted by the Author/Artist through the fourth wall. She is instructed to go and gather up a group of people to form a team to help defend the world against evil. However, she is only able to find Problem Sleuth, Parson Gotti and the resurrected clone of Benjamin Franklin. Still, she rounds them up, and returns to the Author/Artist with them. And so is the team formed.

With the powers of sleuth diplomacy and an amazing pulchritude score, Problem Sleuth is the team’s diplomat. With his tactical mind and Mathamancy Bracer, Parson Gotti is the team’s advisor. With his ambassadorial experience and historical knowledge, Benjamin Franklin is the team’s mentor. And with the power to break the fourth wall, Angelina is the team’s leader. Charged to use their powers to peacefully resolve conflicts, together they form The Negotiators.

During their first mission to resolve the Palestinian/Israeli conflict and bring peace to the Middle East the Negotiators discovered a group working against them, starting conflicts. Richard had been employed by this group to spread destruction and aggravate violence. Though their initial attempt to negotiate with him had failed due to fundamental differences in world view, The Negotiators were able to drive him of after they enlisted the help of Charlie’s forces, though at significant cost. Charlie wanted in on any agreement made. With Richard removed from the equation, The Negotiators were able to use their diplomatic skills to resolve the conflict despite Charlies demands. And so they completed their first mission

After a few more diplomatic successes the enemy group began to pay more attention to them. To help defeat The Negotiators, their enemies looked for a way to take them out of action. Soon, rumours of Problem Sleuth’s past negotiations and their mysterious lack of survivors began appearing. Tales of Parson’s previous employer and his unsavoury alignment were whispered around the office. People saying that Angelina had killed, that she was meant to be dead. Things only really took a turn for the worse when it was discovered that Benjamin Franklin had been making secret deals with Toddler-Eatin' Ted for human hair.

The team was disbanded, and for a few months wars broke out all over the globe. It became clear that The Negotiators were now necessary for world peace. It fell to Problem Sleuth’s investigative skills to search for a clue. The clue he was looking for came when he talked to Toddler-Eatin' Ted. Ted was unable to lie to Problem Sleuth, and it was revealed that Nale was heading the organisation to start the conflicts; he was The Negotiators’ nemesis.

The newly reformed Negotiators tracked down Nale and engaged in diplomatic debate, but right before they could disprove his arguments the negotiations were interrupted by a force of Charlie’s archons. It became clear that Charlie had been setting Nale up, backing him in his conflicts and taking whatever payment he could for helping The Negotiators. Furious at being played, Nale attacked Charlie with the force of his entire operation. For a while, it seemed like The Negotiators’ two enemies would defeat each other. But at the final battle, The Negotiators were able to broker a truce between them. Now they agreed to continue generating conflicts for The Negotiators to solve, as long as Nale received a share of Charlies spoils. And so The Negotiators could continue being heroes as long as Charlie was willing to start conflicts. The Author/Artist was pleased.


World setting (pretty important stuff I guess): Universe of Magic: The Gathering. That means there are countless planes in the universe, and each plane is a different world. Normally it's impossible to travel between the planes, but there are some heroes, who can acquire 'The Spark' which is giving them almost limitless powers, and ability to travel between the planes (thus they are called Planeswalkers)

To become a Planeswalker, one must first pass hundreds of tests for strength, resolve, and wits. The proud and strong warrior named Hevelius never lacked any of these. However he never really desired Planeswalker's power. He just wanted to be stronger and stronger. The thing, that helped him the most, was his great sword - Stormbringer. At first, it was just a firm blade in skillful hand, but as Hevelius walked the path of destiny, he imbued his body and weapon with magical power coming from powerful artifacts. When finally, after 50 years of never ending journey, Hevelius found The Spark within himself, and he became Planeswalker. As he became immortal, he spent the next millennium to master his swordsmanship skills. Hevelius succeeded. He became known as the best warrior in the universe. Unfortunately, eternal life after acquiring the lifetime goal can only mean boredom. Hevelius tried to observe the warriors of the several planes, and while their adventures were amusing at first, Hevelius still thought it's not enough. Finally some day, he came up with an idea: Why not gather some exceptionally skillful warriors, to fight for some big reward. And to encourage the fighters, he picked one of the most desired prizes in the universe - Stormbringer. Of course Hevelius had a sentiment to his old weapon, but during his journey he found several almost as powerful swords, so he decided, he can take the price.

And so Hevelius went from plane to plane, to find suitable fighters. Soon, he picked swordsmen who could rise up to challenge. His first pick was Roy Greenhilt, proud warrior who wanted to fulfill the Blood Oath made by his ancestor. Next, Hevelius stumbled upon some semi-technological plane, where he found a proud warrior of the sea - the pirate captain, who were at feud with warriors of the night - ninjas. Later, in the weird world of hexes, day and night turns, the Planeswalker found strong female fighter named Jillian Zamussels, who tried to help with defeating the evil overlord of the plane. The next stop for Hevelius, was the plane of Kamigawa, where people were in the middle of the war with their own gods. He witnessed with his own eyes as angry god of the planet teared apart the whole army of samurai. They all lost resolve, except from one brave warrior in blue armor, who shown no fear even in the face of death. The last pick was found in futuristic plane, where people managed to travel faster than the light, and communicate all over the plane. In this world, there was an order of brave knights, who were the guardians of the peace, named Jedi. One of them - Jedi Knight named Qui-Gon-Jinn, with his desire for more power and adventure, resembled Hevelius from the past, and so the Planeswalker chose him among the others.

All of the warrior he chose were full of resolve, but all of them lack the power to fulfill their destiny. The power, which Stormbringer could give them.

Hevelius picked one of the many abandoned planes for his competition. Using his Planeswalker's powers, he moved all of the participants to the big rocky island, on the planed almost completely covered in water. After all of the swordsmen were in place, Hevelius used holo-projection to contact the warriors, and tell them about the game rules. Or rather only one rule - The first one to claim the mighty sword Stormbringer, which was placed right in the center of the island - Wins, and the rest will die.

Some time later, Hevelius noticed, that his teleport powers, never really trained, resulted in several flaws. Vinny Doombats, Vampire-like creature somehow got transported alongside Jillian. Also, for reason unknown even for the Planeswalker, a weird young, black haired man in yellow shirt who named himself 'Gabe' appeared near the starting place of Roy Greenhilt (much to the annoyance of the warrior). As things couldn't stay that way, Hevelius quickly disintegrated Vinny and his bats. However, instead of removing Gabe in the same way, Hevelius thought about more entertaining way. He planeshifted another person, specifically to defeat the yellow-shirted crazy gamer - Chef Brian, who was officially classified as the most crazy and random person in the entire universe. Though Hevelius was not sure, if Brian understood, he sent him to confront Gabe. And so, all his work were done. He could sit and watch, as the heroes fights for the ultimate sword.

Some of them, like Roy and Jillian were skeptical. This quest sounded like a typical 'Kill'em All' competition, and Roy wasn't really the person, who kills, just because someone is standing in the way. Jillian on the other hand couldn't really just shrug and move along, as she saw her partner obliterated in an eyblink. Others gladly took the opportunity. Pirate Captain saw his chance to take his revenge on Doctor McNinja, who defeated his crew. The Blue Samurai just wanted to defend his Daimyo, and the legendary sword could definitely help in his cause. And Qui-Gon? Well, he just wanted some xp... Whatever that was.

Skeptical or not, all of them began their journey, as they definitely didn't wanted to die in this 'Battle Royale'.

Since the rocky island wasn't the most pleasant place in the universe, everyone had a hard time. Finding food there was extremely difficult, the same with some water to drink. But none of them stopped. None of them could.

The Blue Samurai was probably the least fortunate of all competitors, as he quite quickly ran into very dangerous opponent - Qui-Gon. Though his Samurai reflexes were unmatched in his homeworld, Qui-Gon was in different skill league. And he had a lightsaber, probably the most powerful weapon on the island, except from Stormbringer. The Samurai did what he could, but since he didn't exactly knew, how the glowing sword worked, first he got his katana melted, and then he was cut in half, by skillful Jedi. After the battle, Qui-Gon searched the body of the fallen, only to find out, he had nothing valuable with him, except from battle armor, which was already destroyed by his lightsaber. Cursing himself, and someone called 'GM' Qui-Gon moved along to meet his destiny.

On the other part of the island Roy was at the edge of his sanity. Gabe, who followed him, along was pretty excited about all the adventure, and his general talkativeness was pissing Roy off, exactly like Elan, Roy's companion in his native plane. In fact, Roy spared Gabe only because, he tried to avoid as much bloodshed as possible. This duet led them to a really interesting trip filled with sarcasm and witty comments all along.

The situation on the other are of the island wasn't so funny, especially when after three days of gruesome trip to the center of the island, Jillian met the Pirate Captain. Jillian made one basic mistake, the same as Captain's nemesis - Dr. McNinja. She thought, that he's some little dirty, bearded guy with a rapier, who is no one, in comparison to a skillful fighter with gigantic sword she was. It turned out, that this bearded guy was more swift, and strong than he looked like. Jillian still had and advantage in power level, so Pirate Captain just used evasive maneuvers to avoid being cut in half. After long fight Jillian felt really tired. Harsh surrounding, plus swift opponent exhausted her pretty quickly. The Bearded One took advantage of the situation and stabbed Jillian to death, when she was to tired to parry. Another warrior fell.

Qui-Gon, The Pirate Captain, and Roy with Gabe were really close to the center of the island. Much to their joy, It turned out, there were some supplies waiting form them, as Hevelius wanted them to be in full strength when the final showdown will begin.

It was then, when the Roy's group was approached... By a man. Man in a white chef hat. Wielding comb in his left hand, and aluminum foil in the other hand. Brian. The final instrument of chaos has found it's target. Somehow, Gabe knew right away what going on, as he told Roy to move on, while he will handle the crazy chef. Roy saw this as an opportunity to finally run away from annoying companion, and he went away, as Gabe and Brian were giving themselves a cold stare. And onions.

At first, Gabe looked like he was a goner. Brian had all of his crazy arsenal (including angry flesh-eating ducks), while Gabe seemed to have absolutely nothing. To the time. His face (usually so lively) changed into synonym of calmness. And while Brian was shouting something about blue pencils coming from the vacuum cleaner, with crazy face, Gabe only smiled a little, and took out, from... Somewhere his straw hat, and cardboard tube.

Even Hevelius, who were looking at the fight from above, was actually surprised, that Gabe actually has some kind of a weapon, even if it's not conventional.

And then it came. The Final Charge. Gabe with his tube vs Brian, who was running with his electrically charged goldfish on a stick. The sound of clashing... Tube, and fish... Whatever, echoed through the field.

Meanwhile, Roy has finally finished his journey. The great legendary greatsword was finally withing his grasp. The only problem was carrying the name Qui-Gon, as he also found the place. Roy tried to talk to Qui-Gon, and offer him some alliance to have a chance to escape together, but Qui-Gon didn't listen. Whenever Roy wanted to tell something, the Jedi was attacking him even more fiercely with 'I roll 16', and similar screams coming from his mouth. Since there was no laser barrier which could separate them, Roy was forced to cut the talk, and fight with all his strength. Luckily for him, his sword reforged with starmetal piece, was strong enough to parry the lightsaber without melting. Both fighters were understanding each other perfectly, as they were both using d20 dices to roll for attack. Qui-Gon also tried to 'Summon Bigger Fish' but much to his dismay, nothing happened (Hevelius thought for a while about this, but he decided not to interfere). Without additional help from the bigger fish, Roy finally outclassed the Jedi with his weapon proficiency. Qui-Gon got sliced and diced, and he couldn't even say anything heroic at the end.

Just when Roy thought, everything was finally over, he felt the cold iron piercing his chest. The sneaky Pirate Captain used the scoundrel tactic to get behind Roy, while he was battling Qui-Gon. Roy, who was already exhausted after the duel with the Jedi went down quickly.

The Captain wasted some more time on laughing at the dead bodies. Also his moment of triumph included his obligatory villain speech, about taking the sword and having his revenge on accursed Dr. McNinja. He stopped in the middle of the sentence however, when he spotted a silhouette coming in his direction. A silhouette... Wearing chef's cape... on the straw hat. Without any word, Gabe was closing the distance.

This time it was the Captain's turn to make the same mistake Jillian did several days ago. He thought, that whoever his opponent was, he was more laughable than dangerous with his cardboard tube as a weapon, and some weird clothes on him. Maybe if he would know, who Chef Brian was, and how strong must be the person who defeated him, he wouldn't laugh like that. Gabe unleashed his tube, and delivered a vicious cut right through Captains torso. With look of disbelief on his face, The Captain's lifeless corpse fell on the ground, and the large bloodstain began to form.

With a typical badass cold stare, Gabe looked from under his hat at the dead bodies, sighed a little before making a firm grip on Stormbringer.

Looking from above, Hevelius was shocked. He certainly didn't expect, that random video game nerd, who was on the island by simple mistake, will emerge victorious. Still he met the conditions. The sword was his. Though, even the powerful Planeswalker wasn't really sure, what he'll do with it.

Since there was nothing left to do, Hevelius used his powers to transport Gabe back to his world. Then he checked the situation on the other planes: Evil Lich struggling to take control over the Giant Gate, pirate crew getting their ass kicked by a single ninja, land disappearing in the eruption of giant volcano, earth shattered more and more by vicious attacks of gods, and... Fairly normal living plane of the Republic. He scratched his head, and decided not to give it another thought. After all what did he care? He was immortal ant powerful.

But maybe, just maybe he picked up the wrong warriors for competition? Well no matter.

Epilogue: Gabe enters his home. Tycho wants to scold him for going away for so long, but he freezes still with shock, as he see giant greatsword carried by his friend. After a second of thought he decides NOT to ask Gabe about it, and instead he challenges him in Tekken. Gabe agrees instantly and with grin on his face he sits on the couch and starts playing, with his new artifact sword by his side.


Annnnd the results!

In 3rd place, it's...


I enjoyed how he pieced the story together, but it was dragged down by a couple of things that didn't quite chime well with me - mostly the Saruman/Warbot sections and Fetus' role - perhaps because I'm used to BM defeating things comedically rather than through actual ability.

Next... in 2nd...


This was a very tough call, his story was most certanily an epic, but my problem was that it took a couple too many liberties with which characters to include (plus it kind of jobbed Vinny a little) - using people which technically he shouldn't have been allowed to, which pulled it into second.

And finally...

In first place and WINNER of the Webcomic Drafting Game and some petty bragging rights...


Plain and simple, it made me laugh. The characters were used well, the storyline made sense, and the ending was amusing.

I hope everyone had fun taking part and won't be too angry about my judging ;)